I will fear no more

Hello, World!

For those who don't know, yet, I am contemplating putting all I own into a storage unit, getting a mailbox at one of those mom and pop mailbox places so I can have a permanent address, sending my dogs off to be cared for by good people for the remainder of their lives, and travelling the USA in my car, doing Door Dash, Grub Hub, Waitr, Spark and Ubereats everywhere I go for a living, while ministering to the homeless and telling my story in shelters and churches and places I have never been to people who have never heard it, spreading the good news about Jesus as I go!

Believe it or not, there are people in our OWN country who have not heard the good news. Many have heard of Jesus, but not about what He can do, what He did or WHY. I know this because I have run into some. And, it is sad when you run into a 19 year old kid that, when you say something about Noah from the Bible, he says, "Isn't that the guy that swam across the salt sea to save the jews?"

???

In our OWN COUNTRY!

When Jesus started His ministry, even his disciples didn't understand what He was doing or why. Matthew 13:54-58, Jesus said, "A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house," when people who had known him all His life were not agreeable to what He was doing. So, it honors me to be in His good company.

Yes, anything could happen while I'm out there, and I wouldn't be here near family...but let's be realistic: What is my family going to do with me if I get put into the hospital while I am here? I went through that with my gall bladder, remember? I was there alone most of the time. I went home and recovered alone. It's why Gary and Fred moved in with me. AND THEY ARE NOT MY FAMILY! And none of my friends showed up when I was there either. So seriously, what can family do for me HERE that they can't do for me when I am THERE? Read Matthew 12:47-50.

I am not claiming to be a prophet. I am merely a disciple. And, I am taking the great commission seriously. I have done what I can where I am, now it is time for me to move on to some place new.

If I were going to Africa to minister there, would it be met with as much friction?

This is not something that I have not thought about for several years. I've even mentioned it. But, now that I am seriously contemplating it all, and the time is growing shorter for me to jump in and get my feet wet, suddenly everyone is giving me doom about it.

I will not be afraid, for God is with me.

I will not fail to have faith enough to fight even the biggest problems that will occur, like David with Goliath, when everyone told him he was crazy, too.

I will keep my eye on the prize, and I will live abundantly.

No one is going to talk me OUT of doing what I feel God is trying to talk me INTO.

YOLO

Have a blessed night!

Yes I will

Good morning, World!

God spoke to me in my dreams last night. I know this, because I actually had dreams. I haven't dreamed often lately, and usually, when I have a dream I remember, it is prophetic.

The gist of what I am getting of the message that God gave me was that there was going to be a drastic, overwhelming, very emotional change in my life soon, and that there was purpose in what was about to happen that would lead to me finding and establishing new relationships in my life.

I am not sure how to take that...except that it is a little bit in line with the plans for the future that I have been contemplating.

God tends to speak to me in a myriad of ways, and usually not all of them at the same time...but I feel there is a sense of urgency because this time He has used more than one way to tell me what He is planning for my life.

I am SO not ready for this!

I got an email today from a line of income I applied for 2 years ago that said I had been blocked because of conduct issues on deliveries I had made with them, but I have never done a delivery through them, so that is impossible. I contacted them to appeal and told them so. LOL

Today I start working to try to make $419 before the 20th of this month to pay my bills for the next week, from the 20th-27th. I already have most of that in my E-trade account ($372) so I think I will have that covered today, with all the rest going into my E-trade account for the first of the month bills.

I'm going to work real hard to have the money I need before the 27th. I have to come up with $1600 by then. I don't see that happening in one week's time, so I have to work hard this week, even though my bills will be covered for next week.

This also means I may have to work on the Sabbath, again.

Have a blessed day!

I Choose Jesus

Hello, World!

I am home. I hit goal, so I didn't stay out.

This week, I have to make $419 to pay all the bills from this coming Tuesday until the next Tuesday (The 27th). I think I have that covered.

With all of my apps, I made a little over $600 this week, and my bills were only $390, so my E-trade investments are growing. At least until the 1st of the month.

I didn't go shopping tonight. I didn't eat out either. I came home and fixed a couple of hamburger patties. Call it the "Atkins" diet. I'm still not losing weight.

And, I'm tired of trying.

I'm still reflecting and thinking about my future. I have some big decisions to make ahead of me...but it is going to be quite a while down the road before I make them definitively.

Regardless of what I do, I have one choice already made that is as definitive as it will ever get: I choose Jesus!

Have a blessed night!

Rest For Your Soul

Happy Midnight, World.

I just finished watching "Legacy Peak" and "A Christmas...Present" on Pure Flix.

I figure it is time for some Christmas movies.

I made $100 today. It feels good to know that I don't have to stress over paying my bills next week, and now I can start working on the next week's bills. I have to make $418 to cover the rest of the month. It is only the tenth. I think I have that covered.

And, it feels even better knowing I should have my Uber and Lyft accounts back online by the first of next year.

I asked for a good start for the New Year. God did not fail me. Praise be to Him who answers prayer!

Tomorrow, I plan to stay home and clean house and wash clothes. I plan to relax and not drive. I plan to take a day off that I haven't been able to take off since Thanksgiving. I owe it to God, and myself.

Have a blessed night!

Rain

Good Thursday evening, World.

Yes, I'm home early.

I made about $60. Minimum wage.

It was raining. I didn't do any Sparking.

I finally just hung it up.

I am now watching "90 Minutes in Heaven" on Pure Flix. About a guy who is killed in a car accident and comes back.

I made the money I need.

Have a blessed night!

The Table

Good Wednesday Evening, World!

I had a great day today. I made over $130. Not all of it was on the Spark app, though. I used what was on Grub Hub to pay for gas and groceries.

I bought a sleeve of Great Value Hamburger patties and a box of sausage patties, and some more tomatoes and some deodorant that I needed. I was running out at home.

I'm fixing some Sausage, Tomato and Cheese sandwiches on wheat bread with Mayonnaise. YUM.

I can't go shopping for food again until Saturday, though. I spent $30. I shouldn't need to, though.

Well, time to pay some more bills before I go to bed, and check my E-trade account.

Thank You, Jesus, for nourishing me in all Your ways!

Have a blessed night!

Breathe

Good Tuesday Evening, World.

I've had a good day.

I went to the Dealership and they cut me a check for the car payment. They told me that they expected to have my tags within two more weeks. I told them I would be so happy. It would be a weight off my shoulders.

Then I went to the bank to deposit my checks.

I've paid my bills for the week ahead. And, I made about $100 today.

I can't wait to be able to travel again. Having all my apps back in order will be like being able to breathe again.

Well, have a blessed night!

Hard Day

Good Monday Evening, World!

I ran today! I ran hard! I should have made more, but beggers can't be choosers and I took the offers that were available, the highest paying I could find.

I also went by the dealership and was assured they were going to help me. I have to go back tomorrow to pick up the check.

The last run was a 12-drop delivery. On my first drop, the lady left a message on the app, "Please come to the back of the house. My mother doesn't want anyone to drive back there, so you will have to walk and if you have a lot of groceries, you may want one of those wagons.."

I had delivered to her before, so I knew where she was. And, it was only one package...

HOWEVER, it was foggy tonight. I had to drive slow to get there. When I got there, I had to use my phone's light to see, it was REAL dark. And muddy from the recent rain. And, I had to walk up a wheelchair ramp when I finally made it around to her house. It was slippery, but there were mats on it. I stepped as carefully as I could on the mats.

I put the item in front of the door, took a picture, then knocked on the door. I could hear the lady inside.

I started down the wheelchair ramp. The mat slipped under me and down I went; FLAT on my back.

I cussed.

Yes, I lost my Christianity for a moment. LOL

The lady opened the door just in time to hear me say, "There better not be anything broken!" LOL

She said, "We put mats down there.."

I said, "OBVIOUSLY it isn't good enough. If I'd ended up in the hospital, you would have had to pay for it, NOT Walmart, so I SUGGEST you do something about that. At any rate, I personally will NOT be delivering anything else to THIS address."

I left, walking away with a muddy shirt sticking to my back, and a wet butt.

I still had 10 more deliveries to make.

One of them took me to a house that broken wooden steps and a whole in the porch. I won't be delivering there again, either.

Ya'll, this is my SAFETY the customers are messing with. This is my HEALTH and WELL-BEING. I don't get paid enough from no-tipping customers to deal with that. I did 12 deliveries for just $34. Not worth THAT. So yes, I will gripe when it happens OUT LOUD.

I went to Walmart and bought some power bites and wieners and brownie mix with the $11 in cash tips I had saved up. Then, I came home and took the dogs out and ate and enjoyed the brownie mix like pudding. Some of it. I'll save the rest for other nights I need some chocolate to soothe my nerves.

Have a blessed night!

Minimum Money Day.

Hello, World.

I woke up late this morning, and then I went to work.

My first run was Walmart. I wanted to test the waters, so to speak. It was a delivery that was going to pay me $14. I waited over an hour and a half, and I couldn't cancel, because it was 2 deliveries, and one was brought to my car so I HAD to wait for the second one before I could leave.

By the time it was delivered, over 2 hours had passed. I made less than minimum wage for those 2 hours. So, I turned the Spark app off.

They are not going to treat me like that and expect me to drive.

I turned on the Door Dash app, which was offering drive time up til 2:30 AM. That isn't normal. So, I took as much of it as I knew I would be able to drive.

I only made another $75. It was better than nothing.

I am home now.

Have a blessed night.

Goal is made

Good Sabbath Evening, World!

I tried to do some Spark today, but the first time they made me wait an hour I turned it off. I did a lot of ASAP and Grub Hub and a couple of Door Dash. I made about $100 and came home.

I have enough to pay my bills for next week now. Payday is Tuesday, so I will be good until next payday after that. Whatever I make from here on out goes toward gas money and E-trade investments.

I'll end up using my E-trade around the first of next month.

I'm home now. I'll probably watch what is left of the last season of "Lost" and then go to bed.

Have a blessed night!

Oh My Soul

Good Friday Evening, World.

I woke up 2 hours later than I did on Thursday, and I still didn't want to get out of bed.

When I finally got out of the house, I did a couple of runs then went to The One Buffet to eat. I guess I was trying to make myself feel better.

It didn't work.

When I got back into my car, I drank two bottles of water within 30 minutes, and a glass of tea. Include with that the two glasses of tea I drank while I was eating, and that is a lot of fluid intake for an hour of time.

Then I had to go to the bathroom. Several times. Not to pee, though.

I was feeling even more "blah".

I did a couple of Spark runs, and was on one more high paying one, but I just cancelled it and came home.

I tried to lay down, but I'm not sleepy...I just don't feel good. And, I am thirsty. A lot.

Maybe I will feel better in the morning.

I did make $45 today...and I only need $65 more to make bill money for next week. So, I guess I can afford to take a break.

Have a blessed night.

Coat and Treats

Hello, World!

I did good today, no thanks to Spark. I made about as much on ASAP deliveries as I did on Spark...but I still had a good day. I didn't come close to making my goal if I have a car payment to make, though. If I don't have to make my car payment, I only have to make about $108 more for the week on the Spark App. Everything I am making on the other apps is going into E-trade. I got it covered, though. WooHOO!

Jesus gave me a new coat today.

Okay, it was a Facebook Friend who sent it to me, but I don't think she would mind Jesus getting the credit, since she was acting as His hands and feet.

At any rate, it is another thing to mark off my "Things I'm asking God for" list.

I made $138 today. Not bad at all.

Milo and Otis got bacon beggin' strip treats from my friend, too.

They say, "Woof Woof".

Have a blessed night!

Meatloaf, Uber and Doggie Beds.

Good evening, World!

I was awakened at 8:44 this morning by the car dealership, telling me the part came in and that they would foot the cost to have it fixed, since I hadn't even got my tags yet.

So, I got up, ate leftover meatloaf for breakfast, drank a cup of iced Italian sweet cream hazelnut coffee, and then drove to the dealership.

They gave me a ride back home. An hour or so later, they called me and I went and got my car, as an Uber passenger.

Uber is so much better than the local cab company used to be for me. I'd wait an hour for a ride sometimes, and there was no way to contact the driver to give directions if needed. My uber was here for me in less than 5 minutes.

Then, I went to get some supplies and buy the doggy beds that my friend gifted me the money for. Someone stole my supplies, but I got the doggy beds. I went back to inquire about the supplies that were missing from my bags, and was accused of lying and trying to steal. I will never shop at that Family Dollar again.

I lost my temper before I left.

She's lucky I didn't put my hands on her. I guess I am, too. I'd hate to have a record and not be able to drive anymore.

I did some Sparks, until around 5:30, when the store made me wait an hour for my order. I finally cancelled and focused on ASAP and Grubhub. I made $97 total for the day, and hung it up and came home. It was getting late.

I fixed and egg, cheese, bacon bits and mayo on wheat bread sandwich. The dogs were comfy on their new beds. I took them out. They are now in their beds by mommy's table as she plays on the computer.

Have a blessed night!

Restless Days

Good Tuesday Evening, World.

I went to the dealership when I finally got out of the house today, after I went to the bank to deposit my bill money.

I was told that Texas refuses to do it without a Title in hand. So, they offered to get it done in Arkansas until the title comes in. I told them I didn't want to deal with the headache of changing my account information only to have to change it back.

I told them that I was working with 6 accounts, 2 of my highest paying are on hold due to all this and I am having to work 7 days a week from the time I get up until I am ready to drop dead at night, because the other four just don't pay the same. And, the time I spend talking to her, or taking care of any other business is time I am not making money for my bills.

I told them I might be able to make the car payment, but probably not "on time". She said she would do what she could to help me with that again.

I told her I would be back before the payment was due.

Then, I went to work.

I worked until 9 PM. I might have been able to squeeze one more run in, but I was stressed out because I had a batch of 9 deliveries I was on. The first one went to an apartment complex, but, there was no apartment number on the order. So I tried to call the lady but got transferred to driver support, who told me there was no phone number associated with the order. So, I had to return the order after I finished the other 8 orders.

The last one was a doozy, too. It took me 30 minutes and calling the customer twice for directions. The second time, they stayed on the phone with me until I got there. Then, it was only a small package that didn't even weigh half a pound.

I decided to go get my sugar, and some Stouffer's Meatloaf, and go home. I spent about as much as I would have spent if I'd have gone out to eat.

I am hungry.

And now I have to stay up until my clothes are washed tonight because I am out of clean clothes to wear.

I still need new shoes. I usually buy a new pair in October, but this year I couldn't afford it. And, I think I stepped in Dog poo on one of my runs. I can smell it.

God has this. Not sure what he is trying to teach me or keep me from, but I am still gonna praise Him.

Have a blessed night.

No Matter What

Good Monday Evening, World!

Today I made goal and then some. I didn't think I would be able to, since I HAVE to make $172/day for the next 7 days in order to cover all my bills for the next week, 7th - 14th.

I thought I was going to be able to get my tags, but Texas won't let us do it without the title in hand. I told her if I didn't hear from her today, I'd be back tomorrow.

I have fought tooth and nail for the past year in order to keep my business as a courier and taxi driver. I've lost the taxi business as of December 1.

But, Praise God, I still have options. Spark is doing me good. Not my choice of vocation, but I am obviously where God needs me. At least, I am where He is blessing me, anyway. And, I still have Grub Hub and Door Dash and ASAP Deliveries.

I was on a batch delivery of 11 orders (one or two items each). It was paying me $42 for nearly 3 hours of driving and delivering. I had to carry a big Christmas tree to one of the homes on my list.

When I got there, the lady was waiting at the door. She said, "Ho Ho HO!"

I said, "Merry Christmas! I feel like I'm Santa Claus right about now."

She said, "You ought to!" LOL Later, I was at another home and I backed the car into their garage. I don't think they were there, so I was going to unload the trunk full of groceries into their carport. When I finished, I took the picture to prove I was there, then reached up to the button beside the door that I thought was the doorbell (there should be a sign on it that says "This is not a doorbell" LOL) and pushed it.

Suddenly, the garage door started coming down. My car was sitting halfway inside the garage. The door was coming down on top of my car and I was inside the carport. I was about to have a coronary. LOL But, then the door stopped just before it got to my car and started back up.

I was thanking Jesus!

I reached up and knocked on the door, since the doorbell was a garage opener. LOL Then I got in my car and left, Laughing nervously.

I wonder if they have cameras? If they do, they are probably laughing when they watch me.

Have a blessed night! (Mine is. My car is still in one piece, and I made goal! No matter what, I'm going to be all right!)

Some Customers...

Good Sabbath Evening, World!

I spent most of the day doing Walmart deliveries. But, around 2:30 PM it was raining hard, and after a customer left me standing in the rain waiting on a signature, I hung it up to dry for about an hour or so, in order to let the rain pass.

I really have a problem with entitled people who live in big houses with nice yards and treat people like crap. It got under my skin. I had to cool off.

So, I went to Colima's Mexican Restaurant on Summerhill Road and took a break.

It was good. And too much. I had to box it to take some of it home with me later.

Then, I went back to work.

I probably would have done better, but Walmart on New Boston Road REFUSES to hire more pickers and loaders. They had TWO workers today. ON A SATURDAY. And every pickup spot was filled. I waited an hour twice on two different orders, and finally cancelled. One of them, the loader came out to tell me, "I don't know why that one is still circulating, but someone has already taken that delivery." So I called Driver Support and got them to remove it and pay me for my time wasted.

I didn't come near making goal tonight. I think I am going to stay away from NB Road for awhile. Arkansas Side has improved a LOT. NB Road needs to follow suit.

I took a batch order of 12 different deliveries (about 1-2 items each). At one of the homes I had to leave the packages at, it was after dark. I had to use my phone as a flash light. The porch light wasn't on. It was REAL DARK.

I sent them a text message before I confirmed the drop off: "Thank you for using Walmart Delivery. The next time you order, though, would you please turn on your porch light. I'd hate for your home-owner's insurance to go up due to paying for my accident. Thank you."

Sigh.

Now it is time to watch "Lost" and play some Bingo.

I don't know if I am going to make enough this week, but I know God has it covered.

Have a blessed night!

Coffee, Rain, Pay, Give Me Jesus

Good Sabbath morning, World!

I am fixing to drink a cup of coffee this morning and then get out on the road ASAP. I have a lot of driving I have to do today and tomorrow in order to pay my bills.

At least my car has had an oil change.

If it starts raining, I may be forced to do something other than Spark, depending on how hard it is raining. I worked in the rain for the past two days, though...even though I would rather not.

I am having to depend on bill money to pay for gas at this point...so whatever I make today or tomorrow has to be good.

But, I've also sold enough stock to cover what I don't make and am waiting for the money to settle in my account. I will know by Monday how much more I will actually need, so I can know how much I actually have to pull out of my account.

I will have to work just as hard next week for the next's week's bills to be covered. But, I won't owe as much, so that is a plus. Whatever I make over what I need will go back into E-trade until the first of next month.

I am trying to fix my accounts so all I have to do each month is pay myself a paycheck each week again, like I was just starting to do when I had all this to deal with suddenly.

I am going to be okay, though. I actually am more at peace now than I was a couple of weeks ago about all this.

I have Jesus. Have a blessed day!

Tags, Oil Change and Sparking

Good evening, World!

I left the house this morning and went and got an oil change. I was given a discount that cost less even though I was getting more for the money. I was blessed. God is Good!

But, I think He was buttering me up for a little while later when I found out that Uber was asking me for proof of registration for my car by December 1. Apparently, we are no more closer to getting my tags than we were a month ago. I was not happy. 

I talked to a lawyer. I talked to a person who works in the Tax assessor's office, and I talked to someone who works at another reputable dealership in town. 

He ran the vin number and found that the car had been registered in California in September, which was the same month I bought the car. Which explains why there is such a big problem now. 

But, the fact remains that the car was sold legally up to this point. It has a title, the title just hasn't been transferred yet by the previous lien-holder. That is standard for the most part; so, there is no legal recourse for me until and unless the car's paper tags run out after being renewed a third time. Legally, paper tags cannot be renewed more than 3 times. 

So, I am stuck, until my paper tags are renewed and expired again, 45 days after December 20th. 

If I lose my Uber Account, I will just try to get it re-instated once my new car is finally tagged. 

It might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe I can start fresh with no marks or complaints against me and have a perfect rating starting out with a new account. 

I'm not so sure I can complain about that, because there is no statute of limitations on any marks against me. They stay until I reach 3 strikes and then I am out for good with no hope of getting my account re-instated. Even if I work it for 10 years.

  And, today, I made $170. So, I think I'll be okay if I can keep this momentum up with Spark.

At least I still have Spark and the other delivery apps for now. 

Well, I'm watching Lost until I wind down and go to bed. 

Have a blessed night!

For Every Time There is a Season

If you were to have told me, when I was working at the counter at Love's Deli in Hooks when I was 18 years old, that one day I would be a prison CO, or that I would be the President of a media alliance that would help kick off the Conservative movement, or that I would be able to travel any time I want, work whatever hours I wanted and make enough to survive just driving around all day taking stuff to people or helping them get places, I would have looked at you like you were crazy.

None of those things are related, yet all of those things I experienced.

I've had so many seasons in my life. I've done so many different things. I've experienced so many experiences.

If I were to die today, I can honestly say I lived. I never stopped, no matter what door I had to go through in order to keep going.

And, never once did I ever deny that my God was the power behind me.

If you want to really live, step outside your comfort zone. Do something you haven't done before. Don't let failure be "the end".

I keep wondering when the bottom is going to drop out and I have to move on to something else, and what is that going to be?

Then, I remember that everywhere I moved in my life was because God made it impossible for me to stay where I was.

Every season has a purpose. Do you think David would have ever been annointed to be king if he had not been a rugged shepherd boy who's only ambition was to tend the sheep and please His father?

I constantly ask myself, "Why am I here right now, where I am? What is it that You want me to do with this?"

I was a deli attendant, a fry cook, a convenient store clerk, a baker, a telephone solicitor, a wife, a mother, I made pizza's, I was an assistant manager, a managing reporter, web site designer, marketing associate, blogger, child care worker, home school teacher, server, host, bar owner, bus driver, taxi driver, Prison CO, grill cook, Avon lady, bartender, housekeeper, healthcare environmental services supervisor, single and a remote call center agent and a courier. I might think of a few more things later.

I've lived in tiny one bedroom apartments, some filled with bed bugs, campers, broken down trailer homes, double wides, homeless shelters, three bedroom houses, Austin, Houston, Redwater, Hooks, Texarkana, I've had dogs, cats, squirrels, rats, horses, pigs, rabbits, chickens.

I've been bullied, lied to, used, pushed away, given away, raped, kicked out, robbed, wrecked, tortured, strangled, grieved, abandoned, and fired.

I've also been happy, joyful, relieved, at rest, filled, rescued, loved, pulled close, rewarded, hopeful and hired.

There isn't much I haven't experienced, but God has always shown me that there is always more.

Where ever I find myself, I try to remember

1 Corinthians 10:31

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

And, I've learned that

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

And, I ask myself, "Would I be the witness for Christ I am today if all those things hadn't happened to me?"

Forgiveness

Good Friday morning, World...

It is Friday, right? LOL

I was nauseated all night last night...so didn't get much sleep. When I did get sleep, I didn't want to wake up. I slept through my 8:30 alarm. It was 9:10 when I got up.

I'm eating Ravioli for breakfast. (I didn't feel like cutting up carrots...or chopping lettuce).

I know I have to take something with me today for lunch, but not sure what that is. Yet. I was hungry mid-day yesterday...had to come home and eat. All that stair climbing made me hungry.

The chicken is still too frozen to do anything with, but, by this evening it should be ready to be bagged and put away.

The watermelon is all cut up and bagged and in the freezer. I might take some of that with me today. I even cut out the inside rinds to bag and cook later. Watermelon rinds are a REALLY GREAT DISH!

I don't like for good food to go to waste.

I'm drinking Iced hazelnut coffee with Italian sweet cream for flavor. Yum...and I need to wake up...

I am also making tea.

I drank a bottle of water throughout the night. Usually, I keep a glass of tea by my bed. Last night, I kept bottled water. I have lots.

Thank You, Jesus, for all the gifts you have given me. Thank You for the food You have blessed me with. And, thank You for the ability to go out and earn enough to pay my bills. Thank You for the business You send my way. Without You, I would have nothing at all. I would BE nothing at all.

Also, thank You for speaking to me through the Word on the radio each day. I listen and pray that You communicate Your will to me through the preaching, the teaching, the exclamations and the music. I know that You speak to us through our circumstances and surroundings, and through others, through dreams, through prayer and even face to face when necessary. More than once have you spoken to me through the radio.

Having said all that, I surrender all of myself to You, again. I let YOU have my hurts, my hang-ups, my anger, and my grief. I forgive those who I should be forgiving rather than staying angry and sulking about things. I pray that You lead me out of the path of those who would do me harm in any way, and that YOU be the judge, jury and executioner of justice for them, as You are with me. I pray that You bless them and that You shine Your face on them.

I pray that, moving forward, You lead me to be the hands and feet that You need. I pray that You temper my regrets and my longings. And, if it is not too much to ask, I pray that my tags will finally come in so I can drive Uber and Lyft again.

Thank You for Your many blessings. Help me to always be grateful.

In Jesus' Name, I pray, AMEN.

Have a blessed day!

Champion

Today, I pulled up to the Wal-Mart pick-up spot to be loaded for my delivery. Usually, I have to wait about 15 minutes before it is my turn to be loaded.

A young man with dark, glistening skin came to ask me who I was picking up for. I told him. He said, "I got you," and left to go back into the building.

A moment later, he came back out with my groceries. I said, "That was quick!"

He said, "I told you I got you." Then he said, "See, it's because WE are the CHAMPIONS!"

I smiled. He asked, "Right?"

I said, "Of the world!"

He said, "SEE! You KNOW it!"

Champions. What makes me a champion?

I thought about this for the rest of the day. What makes a champion?

Psychology Today says that a champion is a person who:

• Strives to find out how great he or she can be
• Talks soft, plays big
• Loves the battle more than the victory
• Hates to lose, but is not afraid to lose
• Goes through the fire to reach their goals
• Always competes with purpose and passion
• Learns lessons from losses
• Lives in the present moment
• Focuses on continuous daily improvement
• Does not base his or her self-worth on the scoreboard

"Am I really a champion?" I asked myself.

I have been through more than my fair share of fires. I don't stop just because there is an obstacle in front of me. If I want something, I get it...somehow. (That is, if I REALLY want it). I have been told I shouldn't be doing what I love to do. I've had people try their best to talk me out of it. I've had family try to manipulate my circumstances to try to force me not to do it. I've heard all of the excuses about why I shouldn't do it.

I'm still doing it. I'm happy doing it. I'm not going to stop doing it. It's MY life. No one else is living it. No one else is paying my bills. No one else is offering me something better and more confortable or convenient with as much pay and reward for doing it.

I may be in a tight spot right now, but I am fighting with all I have to fight with to stay afloat. There is a light at the end of tunnel. The finish line is in sight. I'm still running the race.

I guess I AM a Champion. Win or lose, I am a champion. No one can deny that.

Philippians 3:14
“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Top 10 Things I Learned During My 53rd Year of Life

Every year, near my birthday, during the month of October, I reflect on my life for the past year. I make a list of the 10 things that I learned that year that have directed my life.

So, here goes:

10. Faith is more than saying "I believe". Faith requires letting go in order to let God. Faith requires getting out of your comfort zone, closing your eyes and saying, "What will be will be" after praying for what you want. Then, watching God give you what you need JUST IN TIME.

9. The "Abundant Life" isn't having and enjoying all you want out of life. The "Abundant Life" is enjoying and being grateful for all you have in this moment. It is a feeling of fulfillment, with the contentment that if you never go anywhere else with your life than where you are right now, it is enough, and anything more is worth sharing, while looking forward to the journey ahead at the same time.

8. Once you have your own business and are your own boss, you will never be happy being an employee for someone else again. You even run from the thought of it.

7. Just because things get hard does not mean God is telling you to do something else. It could mean that He is asking you to trust Him more. It could mean that Satan doesn't like what you are doing and keeps trying to trip you up. It's your job to keep moving forward until all the doors are closed.

6. Never give up unti there are NO MORE OPTIONS. If it is God's Will, then He'll open a window when a door closes. There is ALWAYS a way to get where you need to go.

5. When someone is in need of help and it doesn't cost you anything to do it, then you should do it. Especially when they have proven that they can succeed with the little bit of help they've asked for, and have a history of being responsible and it is within your power to keep them from losing everything they have worked hard and given so much to build.

4. When God gives you more than you need, it is because He wants you to give what you don't to those who do. There is nothing more joyful than giving, especially when it doesn't cost you anything but effort.

3. When Jesus said, "Go and tell the world the good news", He didn't mean you had to go to Africa. There are people in your own neighborhood who don't know Jesus. God expects you to be His hands and feet RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.

2. A "personal relationship" with Jesus Christ does not mean praying twice a day and trying not to sin. It means being in constant communication with Him, asking His opinion of every move you make, and thanking Him for everything, every minute. It means being available at any time for Him to use, and expecting that He will be there when you need Him.

1. And, finally: Never lose sight of what you are working toward. Paul said it best, "Keep your eye on the prize". Run the race of life with endurance, patience and determination, and be happy with what God blesses you with, even if it isn't what you expected. Sometimes what you don't expect is better than what you could have hoped for yourself.

Being the Hands and Feet of Jesus

Good morning, World!

I threw the roast my friend bought me into the crock pot last night so I could have it ready before I go to work today.

Breakfast of Roast and potatoes and carrots. WooHOO!

I am up and ready to go to work. I don't have to do anything but work today, so I should make more money than yesterday.

My first delivery was to a friend of mine yesterday that I used to work with. She's been having a hard time and she has kids. So, when I brought her her groceries from the Spark/Walmart delivery, she thanked me a LOT.

Come to find out, she had thought that I bought her the groceries and brought it to her. Now, we are trying to figure out who actually bought the groceries I delivered. It was hilarious when I finally told her I didn't buy the groceries. I just did my job and delivered them.

All I can say is, Maybe Jesus WAS working through me? LOL (Literally).

We are both curious.

I had just prayed that Jesus would use me to bless others. I had been eating at Golden Corral and I said:

Thank you, Jesus, for this meal. I know that not everybody gets to eat as well as you feed me. I don't know why that is. But I do know that I am blessed, and I am grateful. I pray that you continue to bless me, and that you bless everyone around me, and that you let me be a blessing to others, also! In Jesus name I pray, amen.

I didn't know He would actually give me the groceries to do it with! LOL

I should have. I am constantly telling people, "Don't thank me, thank Jesus! He provided it for me to give to you!" Guess I didn't think He'd be so dramatic about it. LOL

Well, time to get this day started!

Have a blessed day!

Chicken, Chicken and More Chicken

Good morning, World!

It is the start of a new work week, and I am starting later than yesterday, which means I'll work later. I woke up at 11:30, So I'll stay out working until 11:30 PM.

Today, I have to make $147 in order to have all the money I need to pay all the bills until next payday. And, today is the last day I have to make that, or I may have to take money out of my E-trade to cover what I don't make.

I won't do that unless I have to.

I am eating chicken that I just cooked in the air fryer while I was getting ready for work. The Air Fryer makes it so easy now! No more standing over the stove watching and waiting.

I am not going to Golden Corral today because it is Sunday, and it costs more on the weekends. I have about $20 left on my cards. If I do it right, that is two more days of eating for free.

One thing is for sure: I won't be visiting KFC or Churches, Popeyes, Chicken Express, Golden Chick or Slim Chickens to eat anytime soon. Why pay for what you already have at home?

Well, gotta get on the road...literally.

Have a blessed day!

Investments, Golden Corral, Abundant Living

Good morning, World!

I have to go to the bank and deposit some money from E-trade to pay bills until payday next week.

I will then have $926 invested.

Of that $926, I have made $17 today that will be invested as soon as it settles in my account tomorrow. That is one bill I don't have to worry about this month, if I chose to keep the money.

I'll re-invest it so it can grow until that bill is due.

That is also $17 I don't have to make today. LOL And, the day isn't over. The market is still open. There is a possibility I might make more.

I am fixing to leave and go eat before I go to work at Golden Corral. Why not? It's free! LOL I won a $50 gift card to Golden Corral yesterday for paying rent on time all year. Each month, my name is entered into a drawing, as long as it is paid on time. My name was drawn yesterday.

A friend reminded me, yesterday, that just a few days ago, I was worried about being able to pay rent at all. Now they are paying ME! LOL

I am blessed.

I will also be sending a friend who loaned me some money a few bucks toward re-paying that loan sometime today. Maybe tonight when I get home. She told me not to worry about it right now, but I promised her SOMETHING every week until it is paid off.

I am so blessed. Every day I am blessed. And, I am getting back to waking up each day wondering how God is going to bless me more today.

THAT is living Abundantly. It isn't that you have. It is how you get. It is how grateful you are to have it. It is wondering how much you can give back, and trying to.

I am still prepping the Chicken. It is hard to pull it apart in the box, because it is so frozen solid. And, it isn't thawing quickly at all. LOL I don't want it to thaw completely, I just want to be able to pull it apart and bag it for storage in my freezer. So, I am checking on it constantly. I have about 3 bags in the freezer now.

Tomorrow, I will be delivering to a few friends in need. I won't work because it is the Sabbath, except to do what I need to to get this food where it needs to go.

Jesus said, "What man, if he have an ox that falls into the ditch on the Sabbath, wouldn't work to pull him out?"

Some kinds of work are acceptable.

I am excited about waking up in the mornings again. I am still on the stressed and worried side, though, until I get my tags.

Have a blessed day!

(Im)Patiently Waiting

Good morning, World!

I'm going to Domino today to get some produce before I go to work from the food distribution place. I need it.

I am waiting for my money to settle in my brokerage account still. I was told it would be there on the 7th. When it does, I will have net assets of $1193 to play with. Sort of. I have to pull some of that money out (about $300) to pay my next few bills before payday.

I am still (im)patiently waiting for my permanent tags to come in. Then, I'll be (im)patiently waiting for Uber to approve it.

I'll still be able to drive while they do their thing with the Ford Focus, because I still have the PT Cruiser listed as well on the app..until it is approved. It usually takes a few days. Unless they renew my background again.

Well, guess I better get this show on the road.

Have a blessed day! (I know mine is going to be!)

I Feel Like Traveling On

Good Wednesday Morning, World!

Life is almost back to normal.

Today, before I go to work, I have to call my dealership and set up an appointment for an oil change and some detail cleaning on my car.

Yeah, I've drove that many miles in it. And, I've had NO problems that I can foresee with the car, except for the normal occasional airing up of the tires.

I went to Longview, yesterday, and picked up my last loan check for awhile (hopefully). I didn't need all of the money, so I put it all in the stock market, except what I need for the next 7 days. I'm waiting for that to settle in my account.

In the meanwhile, I have bought over $600 in stock with what has already settled. Still waiting on the rest.

The stock market is coming back up pretty quick, so I am trying to get into it before it rises too much, so I can see profit. That will help me pay some bills next month, or at the very least, help me if I need more money in the future.

The lady at the loan place was impressed at my organizational skills, and how I manage my money. They were asking me all kinds of questions for advice. I thought that was hilarious. I go in for a loan and teach THEM how to manage their money. LOL

There is purpose in everything. Maybe that was the purpose of me needing the loan. Regardless, I was blessed in the process.

I will stay home and work in my portfolio until 10 AM, then I have to go to work and get a full day's work done. I gotta keep building that portfolio.

I am watching the news for information about Loretta Lynn's funeral arrangements. I know the family is settling during the tragedy of their loss, and need some time to process, so it may be a few days. But, I really would like to go and pay my respects.

I am just happy, and so Grateful to my Lord and Savior, that life is as close to normal as it can be for me now.

Have a blessed day!

Re-start

Good morning, World!

I went to bed around 10 PM last night, determined that if I couldn't sleep, I'd just lay there.

I slept some.

I hope I slept enough.

I finally got up around 5 AM. I am getting ready to go to Longview to get my life back in order. LOL. I have a lot to do today. I might work some when I get back, but I'm going to try to go to bed again around 10 PM tonight.

If I can do this today, I can do it every day.

Yesterday, I contacted one of my loan agents that I've been paying for over a year. They keep calling me, and I keep telling them, "No, I'm trying to get out of debt, not add to it. I don't need more money." But, when you have to, you have to.

I am thankful they were there, and that my history of paying on time has paid off. I have never failed a payment, even if I had to borrow to pay it.

Long story short, I was eligible to get enough to replace most of what I have lost in my E-trade account, as well as pay my bills for a couple of weeks until I get my tags in for the car and am able to go full force again.

I spent last night Praising my Jesus. I woke up this morning doing the same.

Have a blessed day!

Bad Credit Day, Great Practical Gifts

Hello, World!

I am fixing me some roasted tators and carrots for breakfast in my new air fryer.

When it comes to gifts, I LOVE practical gifts. My friend ACED it. I don't even have knick knacks in my house. I have books, clothes and necessities and food. That is IT. If I can't use it, I don't have it.

Last year, she bought me a yeti cup when I went to visit her in Indianapolis. I am still drinking out of it. LOL I carry it with me when I work each day, full of tea. I carry it everywhere. Although, I lost the lid to it. I don't use it...go figure.

I hope by next month I still have a place to keep it, though. My lease is up. I have to sign a new one, and I can't even pay my rent this month.

Sigh...I am so worried. I dread looking into my bank account.

There is no way I'm going to have the money by tomorrow for what is going to be auto-drafted from it.

My credit is now blown.

5 years of never being late on a payment, now this. Thanks, mom for not helping me when you could have.

Just a couple of more weeks and I can start building it back up again. I hope. If I survive that long.

It's going to be a LONG couple of weeks, though.

Have a blessed day.

Falling Dominos

Hello, world! 

It is 10 after midnight here at home. All the stores are closed, so nothing is pinging on the apps. I only made $70 today. Not enough. I can't squeeze blood from a turnip.

It is now Sunday morning. And I find that I have really missed Facebook this past week.

All I can do is let the Domino's fall. I owe $580 on my loan installment right now only have $400 to put toward it. And that's not counting the $655 that I owe for rent, and the $125 that I owe for my car payment. I am so far behind I can't see straight. I have until the 4th to pay the rent but on the 7th my car payment is due and that's another $420.

If I could Uber and Lyft like I used to, I could stay up all night and make the money I need. But after midnight, all of the apps shut down for delivery. There are no stores to deliver from that are open.

Not having my permanent tags is putting me further and further behind. And all it would have taken was a yes answer when I asked for the kind of help that I needed. I wouldn't be in this fix. I could really use the money that I used toward repairs for the PT Cruiser, and the down payment for this car that I'm driving now. I wouldn't have had to use any of that if I had gotten the help that I needed when I needed it. And it wouldn't have costed anybody any money.

Yes, I am still angry. And until I'm Not Angry Anymore, I am keeping my distance. I want back every penny that I've lost due to all of this before I decide not to be angry anymore. I just seem to be falling further and further behind right now. And I'm about to just let go and let the Domino's fall where they will, and not even worry about my credit rating anymore. I don't know what else to do.

On the upside, I used my air fryer tonight. It's the first time I used my brand new air fryer that I got from my friend. I am very happy with it. I will be using it a lot. I promise. LOL it made the best chicken and roasted potatoes ever!

I thank my friend for getting this for me. I never would have gotten myself an air fryer. I didn't know what I was missing. But now I do. If this one breaks down on me I am definitely going to need to get another one. I love it!

Have a blessed night.

Slavery to Debts

I am in a big bind. I owe over 1200 for the first of the month bills and I only have about $400 of it. On top of that, my lease is up. I have to sign a new lease by the end of next month. I can't be behind on rent!

WHAT...AM...I...GOING...TO...DO?

This waiting for my permanent tags sucks.

I have to do something.

I have thought about hocking some stuff...but what I have wouldn't bring me even a quarter of what I need at the pawn shop. I travel light.

My computers are tied up in loan collateral, anyway.

Sigh...

I'll be working from wake up to lay down from now on until all of the first of the month's bills are paid.

Have a blessed day.

CashApp me: $ShondaPonder
Venmo: @ponderaa1

Rocking it in Rockwall

Hello, World!

It is after midnight and I am in Rockwall Texas right now. I've never eaten at Carl's Jr before. So I thought I would try it before I go home. I'm eating a guacamole bacon Angus burger.

I was afraid to stay and Texarkana today because I really needed to make something and I got too late of a start to really make a difference and I knew that after 10:00 everything was going to die because that's just how Texarkana is. So I drove to Rockwall and I have had the busiest night on Uber Eats that I've had in a while.

But after midnight, it, too, stopped. But at least I stayed busy until then.

I didn't have half bad a day and if it wasn't for the fact that I had to drive 2 hours to get here I would do it more often.

I was going to go all the way to dallas, but Uber pinged when I got here and didn't quit, so I didn't see the need to keep driving that far.

Carl's Jr ain't half bad. It's actually pretty good. Too bad we don't have one in Texarkana.

I figured it'll be too late for me to really play with my air fryer when I get home. So I'll just have to save that for another day when I have more time. But I'm still looking forward to it

Because I got started so late I didn't make as much as I want to. Early bird gets the worm you know how that works. But I didn't do bad.

Have a blessed night!

Air Fryer

Hello, World!

I have been using my phone to update you...but there is just something lost in the experience of writing when you don't actually type the blog. I like to "talk" on my phone, then go back and edit. LOL

My best friend, "Shonda Nonyoo" (as she goes by on Facebook), bought me an Air Fryer. I can't wait to try it out! She even got me a cook book to go with it! Happy early Birthday to me! WooHOO!

I have chicken thawing out right now...so I get to cook when I get home.

I'm thinking of going to work in Dallas tonight...but it's a long drive. Not sure I want to make the trip this late in the day. I wouldn't be back until early in the morning.

It might not be a bad thing, though. I am about $600 down from what I need for my bills. I should have taken Regional Finance up on their offer, but I have no way to show proof of income easily.

I sold all my stock just to get the amount I have. It's like I am constantly starting over, and there is nothing I can do until I get my permanent tags.

I baked some chicken last night and some potatoes and had a great dinner when I came home. I didn't want to wake up this morning and I find it hard to get started. But, I am fighting through it. I'll get out of the house eventually...within the next 30 minutes (it is 3:13 PM right now). I will then work my full eight hours.

At least, I won't be home until then. Not sure how much twiddling of thumbs I'll do. I may just drive to Dallas anyway.

Have a blessed day!

cheering myself up

Hello, World!

I've been doing a lot of soul searching since I got off facebook. I have been so stressed that my ambition has faltered. When I get up I get up to go to work just to make enough. And it's not enough. It's never enough. But I come home knowing I didn't do enough. And it spirals me down into a deeper depression.

I have been trying to stay the course. I've been listening to the Word of God. I've been praying. I've been asking the questions. And I've been looking at myself to see what needs to be fixed.

The Bible teaches me that I should live one day at a time. That I should live it with all I have. That I should endure until the end. That I should be contented to have what I need when I need it. As, that is what God gives me.

Today I decided to cheer myself up by going to Big Jake's barbecue. While I was there a young lady came and told me about how buff city was fixing to open up this weekend and gave me a sample of their soap asking me to come by on their day of grand opening. I thought it was awesome!

I went and got my tires aired up. Then I went and bought dog food because I needed it and since I was out of toothpaste I went ahead and bought some of that as well. I was tempted to buy more than what I needed but I decided I better put back some of it. I did buy some barbecue and chicken seasoning. I forgot to buy vegetable oil but I guess I don't need it. All for my chicken. And now I'm prepared to work the rest of the day!

Have a blessed day, and I will see you guys tonight when I get home!

Thank You, Jesus, for this awesome meal. Thank You for this day, and for sticking with me even when I don't feel like being stuck with. Teach me Lord. And help me live every moment for You!

Low Tire Blues

Hello, World!

I have one more bill to pay at the end of the month, and I have the money for it in my bank account. So everything I make from here on out goes towards my rent and first of the month bills.

I decided to stop at Tacos 4 Life because their tacos are delicious, I'm hungry, and it's for a good cause. Every meal you buy feeds another needy family.

I'm looking forward to seeing what I can make today.

At the end of the day, I had to cut it short because my tire lost air pressure around 10:30 p.m. I was planning on going to the food distribution place tomorrow. But it looks like I'm going to be dealing with a tire instead.

Have a blessed night!

Financial Blues

Good Monday, World!

I am in Numbers 29 in the Bible currently. I tried to listen to it everyday as I am getting ready for work, following Joshua 1:8 instruction.

 I woke up at noon today. Tomorrow I have to go to the produce place. And I will have to do that early in the morning, so I'm not going to get much sleep.

Right now I'm eating leftover chicken and dressing from last night. It is actually pretty good. This evening I may open some canned green beans to go with it.

I have about five boxes of mangoes that are going bad. I'm going to have to take them out to the garbage in the next day or so. I'll probably do that tomorrow.

I am waiting on my money to get into my bank account so I can pay some bills that were due yesterday. They're going to start calling me if I don't. My good credit is going down the drain. And I have no idea how I'm going to pay the first of the month's bills.

I hate to ask. But if anyone wants to help me, my cash app is $ShondaPonder and my venmo is @ponderaa1 .

My e-trade account is down by $20. At least I'm not losing as much as I was losing the other day. Some of that came back after I reinvested in something else.

Well I'm going to finish eating my breakfast and get ready to go to work.

Have a blessed day!

Scared

Hello, World!

I was sitting here going over my finances and I am behind on some bills for the first time in 5 years. It makes me feel really angry. If things had been different, and I had the support of the family that should have, I would not be facing the loss that I have incurred. Everything I have built in the last 10 years seems to be dwindling out of control. I am genuinely frightened.

I know that I could turn all this around if I had the capacity to work Uber and Lyft the way I did. But it looks as if it's going to be another month before I'm going to get my permanent tags. By then I don't know what else I'm going to be behind on. I don't even know if I'll have a business. And getting another job is not going to solve the issue because there is no job that is going to pay me what I get paid even doing the little bit that I can.

Not to mention, I just don't have the time.

However, I know that God is in control. I know that everything is going to work out according to His will. And I know that I just need to trust Him throughout it all.

I am allergic, literally, to stress. I think that is why I am feeling as tired as I have been feeling lately. It isn't like I've been working any more than usual. The only thing that is stressing me is that I'm just not making enough to cover all my bills right now. And I don't want to work more than 8 hours a day because that would incapacitate me. And I don't want to ask anyone else for help. I am tired of asking for help. I shouldn't have to.

I love my family. But I am very hurt right now that they would allow me to fall and not even try to help me. It isn't like I have never paid them back for every penny they have ever given me. It isn't like I haven't thanked them enough when they did. It isn't like I'm wasting everything I make on drugs and partying. I never have time to do any of those things. And now, I just think it's best that I stay away from them until I get back on my feet with all the stress behind me. After all, if they had been there for me to begin with, I wouldn't have to work as hard to get back on my feet.

Things happen. Emergencies happen. It isn't like I planned any of this. It isn't like I put myself in this situation on purpose. This could have happened to anyone. And I am not blaming them for my situation, but it was not my fault that I encountered this situation. To blame me for my problem right now is like saying well, you shouldn't have become sick. Or, you shouldn't have been at the grocery store when the robbery happened. Things just happen.

If I was dying in the hospital bed, I wonder if my family would even care. They certainly don't care about the quality of life that I have right now. And they don't realize how much I stand to lose because they refuse to help me when they have the opportunity.

You can believe that I will never ask them for help of any kind ever again. I will never put myself in the position to get hurt by them again. I have had enough grief and stress. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that I have a better Plan B, C, D and a little extra in the future.

A Day in the Life of a Courier

Hello, world!

I turned on the Heat this morning. I was actually feeling cold. I am not getting sick, it was actually really cool in my apartment.

At least I didn't think I was getting sick. But I went to bed early and I slept for a full 8 hours. And I didn't want to. I was trying to stay up until after noon like I did yesterday, instead I ended up waking up at 11:00 a.m.

So here is round two. I'm in my car now, getting ready to go to work.

I am starting to compare what just happened about my sleep to withdrawals. I have not touched Facebook. The last comment I made on Facebook was to my aunt about a prayer she had asked for. And then I shut it off. I remembered I wasn't supposed to be on Facebook.

Who knew withdrawing from Facebook would have physical implications?

It is now 12:24 p.m. I am sitting outside of Walmart waiting to be loaded with groceries to deliver. The order is going to pay me $17. It's worth it to sit here and wait for an hour.

While I am waiting I am watching ads and updating my gaming apps. I might as well make a few pennies while I'm sitting here. I call it picking up techno-cans. For the youngsters out there, when we didn't have money we would pick up aluminum cans on the side of the road. It was hard work. It only paid pennies but it was better than nothing. Playing games for money is about the same thing. Basically what I'm doing is watching ads and getting paid a few pennies every time I do. And, it's a lot easier than picking up aluminum cans. It takes about the same amount of time too.

It is now 12:37. I have been sitting here since noon waiting on my car to be loaded. If I wait an hour I will cancel the order. It will be time to move on to another delivery before I start losing more money.

While I am sitting here waiting, I am listening to K-Love on the radio. It is positive encouraging uplifting contemporary Christian music. I need to keep positivity flowing in my life.

Also, I have logged all of my trips from Friday onto the QuickBooks app. It keeps up with all of my finances so I can see how much I am actually making in profits. It also helps me at the end of the year when it's time to do taxes. Last year I actually got $300 back. I talked to another Uber driver who didn't log his trips or do any paperwork at all, and he ended up owing over $5,000. I don't think I could afford that. Needless to say, he got frustrated and quit.

When you work for yourself and not somebody else it's not all about making money. You have to do the paperwork involved. You have to pay your taxes. You have to file your deductions. It's just like any other business. If you don't do the paperwork involved you will owe a whole lot more than you should.

When I first started doing this a lady tried to talk me out of it telling me how much taxes I'm supposed to pay. I told her it's no more than any other taxes you have to pay. And as long as you do the paperwork it isn't. I was right.

While I am sitting and waiting for my car to get loaded, it is turned off. I am not even running the air conditioner and it's 100° outside. I'm sure it's even hotter than that in this car as I wait. The heat is beating me up. If I get too hot I'll just turn the car on for a few minutes. All of my windows are rolled down. Gas is too expensive to waste running your car for an hour waiting to be loaded.

I finally canceled the order at 12:50 p.m. I got paid $2.50 for the wait. That was generous of Walmart. And it's better than nothing. I just wasted an hour for $2.50 sitting in the hot sun. It is frustrating.

But, now I can turn on the Uber eats app and maybe get a ping while I'm waiting for another Walmart order to show up on my screen. I also have the GrubHub and the ASAP app on. Whichever pings first I'll take and turn the others off.

Before I left the house today, I threw some chicken into the Crock-Pot. It's a lot easier than cooking when I get home, and I know I'm going to be hungry. I have also prepared enough tea to last me for the next 5 days. So I don't have to do that anymore either for a few days.

I just accepted a delivery at 1:15 p.m. that is going to pay me $31.52. It is 72 items on one delivery and 14 items on another. It is well worth the $31. I will wait for it. Pick up time is at 1:45.

I will write the order down in my notebook so that I can log it into my Quickbooks when I start work tomorrow. They will have until 2:15 to get me loaded, and after that I will cancel and move on to the next delivery if I am not yet loaded and on my way to drop off.

A lot of this job is twiddling my thumbs and waiting. But the jobs that I actually get to get done more than make up for the time I waste waiting. I probably shouldn't have accepted this order because the status is that it is getting ready and it is not ready already. Unfortunately the app does not tell me until after I accept the order whether or not it is getting ready or it is already ready.

As soon as I got to the Walmart it was 1:25. I got a ping from the waiter app that I forgot to turn off to go pick up an order it On the Border that is going to pay me $6.26. I accepted it. It's a good way to use my time while I'm waiting on the other order to get ready.

When I got to On the Border, I realized that I forgot to accept the order in the app and it moved on to another driver. So I lost my chance at delivering that order. And wasted my gas getting to On the Border. It happens sometimes if I'm not paying attention. So I'll return back to Walmart for the other order. That one is already accepted. I still have time.

Finally, at 2:07 p.m. I Got Loaded for my $31 delivery. I finished the delivery and went back to my usual waiting spot at the Exxon on New Boston Road at 3:00 p.m.. I've been working for 3 hours now and made $31. Hopefully things will get better. But I'm not complaining because it's still over $10 an hour.

At 3:05 I arrived at On the Border for a delivery from ASAP that's going to pay me $6.13. I turned off the other apps until I finish this one. Maybe I'll get another one before I settle somewhere again.

One of the things I like about food orders is that the wait time is a lot shorter and the experience is a lot cooler in the heat.

Before I got back to the Exxon I got another order from GrubHub going back to On the Border to pick up an order. I took it as well. This one pays $6.39.

When I got to On the Border there was a guy standing out in front of me with a white T-shirt on. The back of his shirt said "Follow me on YouTube." So I asked him, "It would be easy to follow you if I know who you were! Who do I follow on YouTube?" He pointed at his car. It said "Doordash around the USA."

He told me he has been to over 40 States already. I told him it sounded very interesting. I told him that when I retire I planned on doing something similar. I also let him know that I had my own blog. LOL. 

Then I took my order to the drop location. It started raining and the wind started gusting, so I figure I won't be doing any more spark deliveries today.

When I got back to the Exxon I got another order for $5.85 from GrubHub. On my way I got a severe weather warning on the radio for Texarkana. I am not the United States Postal Service, but I will work until I can't.

My next order was Uber Eats for 9 dollars. I talked to a couple of Doordashers who we're curious about how Uber Eats worked and if it was worth it. I told them it was just as worth it as any of the other apps. And,  I told On the Border they should put me on the payroll. This was the third order today that I have picked up from three different apps. LOL

I went back to the Exxon to twiddle my thumbs for a while. I have the Uber, ASAP, and GrubHub apps turned on. Waiting for a ping. It is 5:21 p.m. and I have made $58.80 today so far. That's not bad. It's a little over $10 an hour. But it's easy money.

I still miss my Uber passenger app. I can't drive until I get my permanent tags on this vehicle. But when I can I will make more than I am making now. Until then I have to do what I have to do. And, I do it without complaining because two years ago I was working as a cook at a local Diner in New Boston Texas. I was only making $215 a week. What I made today already was more than I would have made working 8 hours there.

By 6:22 I was in the midst of a delivery that was going to pay me $16 which would bring my total up to $87.12. It was not a bad day at all so far. In spite of the rain and not being able to do Walmart deliveries because of it.

I don't like delivering groceries in the rain because it's too easy to slip with heavy items. Sometimes I have to walk through yards and the grass gets Slippery When Wet. Not to mention the holes seem to be bigger and I've already twisted my foot once and don't want a repeat. So whenever it rains I focus on all the other apps.

Normally, if it's raining I will focus on just doing passenger rides. However I'm not doing passenger rides until I can get my permanent tags on this vehicle. My paper tags are good until October 22nd so maybe by then I will be up and running again. That is, if I can make enough money to pay my car payment until then, in spite of not being able to drive Uber and Lyft.

While I was sitting at Sonic waiting on my order for delivery, a homeless guy came and asked me for some money for some food. I gave him a bag of my Chex Mix that I got from the Food Distribution Center and keep in my car to snack on. It might not have been what he was wanting really, but it is what he asked for.

When I went to Cracker Barrel to pick up an order before the one at Sonic, I saw that the restaurant they are building beside Cracker Barrel is almost complete. They are advertising for employees. It will be great to have a Panda Express here in Texarkana finally! I can't wait until it opens!

By 8:00 I had made $97. It was close enough to 100 and I had worked my 8 hours. I decided to head home and work in the call center for the rest of the night.

I was looking forward to seeing my baby dogs, and eating some of that chicken that I plan to fix stove top stuffing with, using the juices off of it.

I will try to stay up as late as I can. My hours have got to change so that I'm waking up in the mornings again. I have no idea how to do that. I know I can't use an alarm clock and wake up early, because either I will sleep through the alarm clock or whenever I do get up I'll be so tired I can't drive. I fear driving while I am tired for good reason. It is not safe for me or for anyone else on the road.

And this is my day.

And, as usual something went wrong. As soon as I got home and check the chicken, I realized I had forgotten to plug the Crock-Pot in this morning. Sigh. Now I will have to wait at least 4 hours for the chicken to get done.

Have a blessed day!

Fruit

I recently got some produce from the Food Distribution Center. A lot of it was a bunch of strawberries blackberries mangoes fruit.

I have come to the conclusion that eating fruit is not a bad thing to do when you're hungry. I have found myself snacking on fruit a lot lately. And I never seem to get tired of it.

Letting God Lead Me

When I first started working for the apps as a self-employed Courier and taxi driver, I was desperate to make money to pay my bills. However, I recognized that no matter what I did, my success or failure will depend on the will of the Lord.

I got on my knees and I asked him for guidance. I promised him that if he brought me out of the current situation that I was in financially, I would do whatever I could to make sure that he got the glory for all of it.

God did not fail me. I am content to let him lead. I'm not asking for a whole lot just enough to keep me from worrying about the future.

One of the things I have learned is that the more money I make, the more it needs to be managed. And, the more effort I make to manage it costs me more. For example, I had to invest in QuickBooks on a monthly basis. I have to make sure that my car is well maintained on a monthly basis. I had to invest in a better working phone than the one I had. I had to buy a new computer. And overtime there were other smaller expenses that accumulated.

It's nice to be able to make more money than I have ever made before, I just wish that I could get to keep all of the money that I make.

A lot of people will tell me that I should go and find a better job or another job that doesn't cost so much, but the truth is no matter what job I get the more money I have the more money I'm going to have to spend. That's life. And the only reason you make money is so you can spend it.

God let me enjoy life at a whole new level though. I was eating in places I've never eaten before, traveling to places I've never been, meeting people I've never met, and giving people advice on a regular basis from what I've learned. I found that I enjoyed this new life that I started Living.

So if I have to weigh it between the security of having a 40 hour a week work week working for someone else and doing what I love to do on a daily basis that I'm doing right now, I choose the way things are right now. At least I enjoy my life. I couldn't do that if I were committed to someone else and making them money trying to survive myself.

Getting Paid to play on your phone

As a courier that uses apps to make money, sometimes I find myself twiddling my thumbs as I wait for ping, or as I wait for an order to be ready for delivery.

I'm one of those people who hate twiddling my thumbs. I believe in being productive with ALL my time. So, sometimes I play games to keep my mind off the wait.

Then, I saw this ad that said I could make money playing games on my phone. So, I started researching that.

I saw an ad about playing Atlas Earth.

On this app, you buy virtual real estate. You get paid rent for the parcels you buy and you can buy more and make more rent over time. The more you own, the higher your social status on the game. The person with the most parcels in the U.S. is the President. The person with the most parcels in Texas is the Governor of Texas, etc.

The rent you earn can be exchanged for real world dollars.

You pay rent on your travels by watching ads. The advertisers pay the app for posting their ads on the app for you to watch. The app shares that revenue with YOU. That's how it works.

If you are interested, you can get on Google Play and download the Atlas Earth app. It's fun.

Gaming apps are the same way. You get paid to play games, look at ads, and complete offers. And, no, you aren't going to make a million bucks, but something is always better than nothing at all.

Mean People

Leviticus Chapter 19

15 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD.
17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.
18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Today, I was scrolling through Facebook and found a post that made me laugh. It was a post that made a point about some other person's actions. The comments made fun of this person and talked down about them and this something they did. The comments were all adding fuel to the fire as they continued to degrade this person. I started to add my own comment in jest...but I stopped myself.

I asked myself, "Is this something God would approve of? The old me would have shrugged that "small still voice" to the back of my mind and typed it anyway. But, I didn't.

This morning I listened to the King James Bible online on Youtube. I am currently in Leviticus. I listen a little every morning as I get ready for my day, because Joshua 1:8 says I should.

Aside from being a good person and having success, listening and studying the Bible teaches you the laws of God so you can write them on your heart and learn to act accordingly. It etches it's laws into your conscience - so that still small voice can stop you before you type something hurtful or degrading about someone else, no matter how bad of a person that person is in your eyes. It's not your eyes that you should see that person in. It is God's.

Today, it stopped me from doing what I never thought twice about, until today. And, I listened and acted accordingly to that still small voice.

I am not the same person I was. I never saw myself as being a mean person, and I would have rationalized it as "this person will never see this, so why not go ahead and say it...", but what if he did?

God said to my heart, "Wrong is wrong. I told you what and what not to do."

Lord, please forgive me for even thinking about it. And thank You for stopping me and making me into a better person every day. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Financial Fitness as a Christian

Hello, World!

Did you know that Jesus talked more about money management than any other subject? I am currently listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope about Financial Fitness - 2022.

I am not rich. Not even close. As a matter of fact, right now, I'm living day to day, dollar to dollar...trying to keep up with my bills. But, last year, I was doing really well. I actually had enough money to pay all my bills in the month ahead, due to saving and investing.

Emergencies happen. That's what happened to me.

And, right now, I am struggling to get caught back up.

In all this, I have realized that God is in control. God will have His way no matter what you do, but that does not mean that you sit back and do nothing to help yourself.

God gives you all you have. He expects you to use it how HE sees fit. If you don't, He will take the responsibility and all that comes with it away, until you can prove that you are trustworthy toward His will.

In order to be able to prove you can be trusted, God never takes it ALL away. He leaves you just enough to survive. He expects you to first and foremost, acknowledge Him in ALL He has given you, whether it is a little or a lot. And, for some, little does not mean less love or trust. Little can mean that that is where God needs you RIGHT NOW.

God may not give you money to take care of problems you encounter that require it, either. But, He ALWAYS gives you resources you can use to get what you need.

And, everything God gives you is a communication from Him to you. Everything you experience - whether you have little or much - is to teach you something. It is what you learn from any experience that determines whether or not you are ready for more.

I look forward to sharing my daily life with you from here on out. I want to show you what I have learned. I want to share what I know so that you can do it for yourself. I want you to have all the information you need to make educated choices in your life. And, I want you, above all, to realize that you would have NONE of it except that God gave it to you. I want to teach you to follow Jesus in all you are and all you do.

And, I will do this by sharing my failures as well as my successes.

My Retirement Job

I get a lot of passengers who ask me if I like to drive for Uber. What they are really wanting to know is do I make enough to support myself by what I do.

Most of my passengers think that what I do is just a hobby, or something I do on the side to pass the time. I don't get that, but okay.

I love to tell my story every time.

Today I had a trucker that was going to the airport. He asked me about it. I answered every question he asked. I told him how I came to drive for Uber in November of 2020 - how I started out just doing Uber Eats and Waitr; and, how after a month, I went and bought my first car from a car lot that required payments, and signed up for everything else.

I told him that yes, I do really well with what I do. Sometimes Uber is slow, and that is why I have signed up with everything else.

When I told him how much I made last year on average each day, his eyes got really wide and he said, "REALLY! You do pretty good, then! You can actually make a good living doing this!" Well, yes...that is what I had been telling him.

It is funny how people don't take what I do as a serious living; and, yet, it is how I make mine.

I told him the truth: "There is no way on God's green earth that I will ever go to work for someone else ever again if I can help it. Especially now."

I have the ideal job. I can go anywhere. I work when I want to (which is all the time because I have nothing better to do anyway). I never use an alarm clock unless I have an appointment to keep. I can take off when I need to to spend time with family and friends and I don't have to worry about being fired if I just decide to stay home. And, if I have that extra bill to pay, or want some new clothes, I just get in my car and drive some more.

It's my dream job.

I'm keeping it.

And, I never plan to retire until I can't drive anymore.

And, all the credit goes to my Jesus. I feel as if God has led me to this day, this time, doing what I do for a living. I see it as a gift from Him. I have been trained for this all my life.

I learned good customer service from my past jobs as a server that has helped me deal with my passengers and customers on a daily basis now.

I learned good cleaning practices, so my customers always compliment how clean my car is inside, and I get tips for that, as well, from former housekeeping and environmental services jobs I've had.

I learned to serve and be grateful and say "Thank you" from my involvement with my churches, and a stint from being homeless - from which I also learned good counseling skills for those who are asking for information on how to get help finding food and necessities from those who are struggling and want to talk while on their trips. I can relate to those who have been abused, and some of my passengers are put at ease by my experience in that regard.

I was a Corrections Officer in a prison at one time, and it taught me to be more aware of my surroundings, which is really useful when driving and watching other drivers on the road in order to prevent mishaps that can be unsafe for me or my passengers. It also makes me not afraid of dealing with different attitudes - the kinds that may intimidate others. And, I make sure that whoever gets into my car shows me their hands and face before I let them in. I want to know I'm not going to be attacked, robbed or abducted...or worse.

I know I can't prevent all dangers, but I can be aware and I can do my best to discourage it, and my faith takes care of the rest.

I was a bus driver, a cab driver, and I know how to use a computer and my Smart Phone to find anything I need to find.

No one can tell me that God hasn't been training me for this; so, I'm going to make the best of what He has given me, and I am going to ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

I am never going to retire until I have to.

An Apple for the Teacher

A teacher told me that sending our kids to school was a "privilege" and we should be "thankful for it". This was in response to me questioning the 4-day school week New Boston is implementing.

I had to school her.

Here is my response:

That might be the case if our kids didn't get truancy records for not attending; and, the parents didn't have CPS called on them when they decide to keep their child at home. Furthermore, we, as parents, have NO SAY as to the what you teach our child in the curriculum 90% of the time! A "privilege", teacher, is not something that is MANDATORY.

Driving is a "privilege." Getting your child an education in public schools is government mandated.

Have you ever home-schooled? I did. I was threatened when I took my child out of school. I had to jump through all kinds of hoops just to have the PRIVILEGE of teaching him at HOME.

So, with that said, you TEACHERS need to understand that we as PARENTS want what is best for our CHILDREN, NOT what is best for YOU.

The PRIVILEGE, as I see it, is that YOU get to teach our CHILDREN.

You ASKED to work there. You were ACCEPTED to the job. If you don't like your job, go look for another one.