Thursday, September 27, 2018

Caring about how others feel about me...

In my experience, I have learned not to care if others care as much as I do. It really doesn't matter to me how they feel. Love isn't supposed to be two sided. God didn't say "only care about others who care about you as much". So, whether others care or not doesn't matter. Sure, it can hurt if you really value the fact that they should care. But when you stop basing your relationships on how the other person feels, you are much happier. As far as I am concerned, God loved me enough to die for me. That's all I need to be happy.

Thursday, September 20, 2018


When I was 18, I was dating my second ex-husband -- about 6 years before we actually married.

I was struggling with a baby, being unmarried, and having to do it without the help of my parents or the government for the most part.

When my ex would offer advice, I would say things like, "I can't do that because..." and so forth.

Finally, one day, my ex grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me toward him and said, "I am sick and tired of hearing 'I can't'! You CAN. You can do anything you set your mind to do. I don't EVER want to hear you say 'I Can't' again. Do you hear me?"

From that day forward, the words "I can't" were stricken from my vocabulary.

There were times I tried, and failed. But, because I tried, I found more doors opened to me that had not been open before that I could try.

There were times I did things while I was shaking in my boots, scared to death. But, because I did not let fear stop me, I ended up in places I never EVER dreamed I'd ever be in.

When we divorced, after five years of marriage, it was a very cordial divorce. But, the one thing he said to me before I drove away was this:

"When we first met, I remember you couldn't cross the street without having someone hold your hand. You were like a caterpillar, young and fragile.

"Now, you act as if there is nothing you can't do. You've changed so much. It's as if that little caterpillar has turned into an enormous butterfly!"

I think about that a lot.

I remember when my kids were little and they would say they couldn't do something, I would stop them, make them look at me and say, "Do you believe in God? Do you believe that with God all things are possible? Don't say you can't until you try with all your heart! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!"

I can't is not in my vocabulary, no matter how big or scary the road ahead of me is.

Can't never could.