Me and Jesus spent a great day together today. He woke me up, and provided water for my bath, and all the things I needed to bathe and dress comfortably.
Then, I spent time listening to God's Word through Matthew Butler, John Hagee, Matthew Hagee, Joyce Meyer and Rick Warren. A lot of it was what I needed to hear.
Then, we turned on Crowder Radio on Pandora and ate.
I didn't have many groceries, but He provided me with some cabbage and onions and all the stuff I needed to fix an awesome fried cabbage.
I was kind've disappointed about past relationships. So, while we ate, I told Him,
"Jesus, I'm so tired of trying. I've been used by so many in my 50 years on this earth."
Jesus raised his eyebrow and nodded. He's a good listener.
I said, "My heart has been broken to pieces, and when I picked up the pieces and tried something else, it didn't work."
He continued to nod.
"But, I was stubborn. I didn't give up. I exercised patience until somebody decided I wasn't good enough and pushed me away. I kept trying. I've been handed over to people not so nice and who were very selfish..."
Jesus raised His hand and said, "Yes, but..."
I didn't let Him finish. I continued...
"I drifted like a leaf in the wind for awhile, and then I had to deal with someone who was never happy with what I had to give him."
"Yes," Jesus tried again, "But..."
"And then, finally someone took me and abused me, lied to me, lied about me, accused me of things I didn't do, stole from me, and took all I had, shamed me, beat me bloody, and didn't even think he was in the wrong..."
"Yes," Jesus said. "I know how you feel, but..."
"Now, it's hard for me to find someone who doesn't have better things to do than be with someone who is trying to be good. I keep trying. But...should I give up?"
Jesus looked at me with those loving, piercing eyes, all the way to the depths of my soul. And, what He said next cut me deep.
"Have I? I give everything. I hurt. I've been beaten, spat on, lied to, lied about, hurt, disappointed, grieved, and alone. People never seem to have time for me. Many never confide in me when they should -- when it's hardest and when they are hurting. I want nothing more than to just be with them when they go through their worst, but they can't even love me enough then."
He paused for a moment with his eyes smiling kindly and watering just a little, as if He were going to drop a tear at any moment, and continued with, "I have never given up. I keep loving. I love in spite of how hard it is. I hold on even when the world lets go. I search the ends of the earth to find the lost. I will wait patiently until the end of time for someone to finally call and tell me they are ready for something better than what they have preferred. And, then, I am overjoyed! Because I finally get to show them how much they have missed!"
Then He put His arms around me and He pulled me close to Him in a big hug that made me feel like I had all I needed and nothing to want for; and, He said, "Just like YOU."
Then, I spent time listening to God's Word through Matthew Butler, John Hagee, Matthew Hagee, Joyce Meyer and Rick Warren. A lot of it was what I needed to hear.
Then, we turned on Crowder Radio on Pandora and ate.
I didn't have many groceries, but He provided me with some cabbage and onions and all the stuff I needed to fix an awesome fried cabbage.
I was kind've disappointed about past relationships. So, while we ate, I told Him,
"Jesus, I'm so tired of trying. I've been used by so many in my 50 years on this earth."
Jesus raised his eyebrow and nodded. He's a good listener.
I said, "My heart has been broken to pieces, and when I picked up the pieces and tried something else, it didn't work."
He continued to nod.
"But, I was stubborn. I didn't give up. I exercised patience until somebody decided I wasn't good enough and pushed me away. I kept trying. I've been handed over to people not so nice and who were very selfish..."
Jesus raised His hand and said, "Yes, but..."
I didn't let Him finish. I continued...
"I drifted like a leaf in the wind for awhile, and then I had to deal with someone who was never happy with what I had to give him."
"Yes," Jesus tried again, "But..."
"And then, finally someone took me and abused me, lied to me, lied about me, accused me of things I didn't do, stole from me, and took all I had, shamed me, beat me bloody, and didn't even think he was in the wrong..."
"Yes," Jesus said. "I know how you feel, but..."
"Now, it's hard for me to find someone who doesn't have better things to do than be with someone who is trying to be good. I keep trying. But...should I give up?"
Jesus looked at me with those loving, piercing eyes, all the way to the depths of my soul. And, what He said next cut me deep.
"Have I? I give everything. I hurt. I've been beaten, spat on, lied to, lied about, hurt, disappointed, grieved, and alone. People never seem to have time for me. Many never confide in me when they should -- when it's hardest and when they are hurting. I want nothing more than to just be with them when they go through their worst, but they can't even love me enough then."
He paused for a moment with his eyes smiling kindly and watering just a little, as if He were going to drop a tear at any moment, and continued with, "I have never given up. I keep loving. I love in spite of how hard it is. I hold on even when the world lets go. I search the ends of the earth to find the lost. I will wait patiently until the end of time for someone to finally call and tell me they are ready for something better than what they have preferred. And, then, I am overjoyed! Because I finally get to show them how much they have missed!"
Then He put His arms around me and He pulled me close to Him in a big hug that made me feel like I had all I needed and nothing to want for; and, He said, "Just like YOU."
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