Hello, World!
Today, I got some rest -- finally. It was forced rest, but it was rest, none-the-less.
When I came home from work this morning, I laid down, tired from work all night, and went to sleep. When I woke up, only 2 hours had passed by. I refused to get up, even though I was awake. I laid there and eventually went back to sleep. I woke up every two hours or so, and repeated the process until at least 7 hours went by. Now I am up.
I have now determined to move forward to take care of the business before me, as I have done in the past. I don't know if it will help me not think about things I really have no business thinking about anyway, but it's worth doing. If anything, it will help my finances.
I put in some of my Avon order today, and I have two deliveries I need to make on my next day off work. Hopefully, I can get that taken care of.
How do I feel? Really numb right now. I feel like God has played a practical joke on my heart. I have no reason to be angry or hurt, but the lesson on letting go of unfinished business created a sense of loss in me that is overwhelming. I have learned that there are some things in life that I cannot control no matter how badly I want to make something happen. I can make an effort, but if God doesn't think it should happen, my effort is futile. And, to try to force anything to happen would just complicate matters for everyone involved irreparably. It's just not worth pursuing, when I look at the big picture.
Besides, I still believe in miracles. I believe in a God of hope and restoration. I believe in a God of reparation and guidance. And, if He wants something to happen, I believe He will make a way where there doesn't seem to be one.
In the meantime, I will continue to do good as best I can, in spite of my humanity and imperfection.
As Mr. Langston said in his book (which I have not had time to finish yet...but will try to do so on my next day off work), "If you sit back and wait for it, your destiny will find YOU."
What will be will be.
Fred told me today, "Sweety, I love you and all, but you really do have a way of painting yourself into a corner..."
Perhaps. But, whole room looks better, anyway. LOL
Have a blessed day!
Today, I got some rest -- finally. It was forced rest, but it was rest, none-the-less.
When I came home from work this morning, I laid down, tired from work all night, and went to sleep. When I woke up, only 2 hours had passed by. I refused to get up, even though I was awake. I laid there and eventually went back to sleep. I woke up every two hours or so, and repeated the process until at least 7 hours went by. Now I am up.
I have now determined to move forward to take care of the business before me, as I have done in the past. I don't know if it will help me not think about things I really have no business thinking about anyway, but it's worth doing. If anything, it will help my finances.
I put in some of my Avon order today, and I have two deliveries I need to make on my next day off work. Hopefully, I can get that taken care of.
How do I feel? Really numb right now. I feel like God has played a practical joke on my heart. I have no reason to be angry or hurt, but the lesson on letting go of unfinished business created a sense of loss in me that is overwhelming. I have learned that there are some things in life that I cannot control no matter how badly I want to make something happen. I can make an effort, but if God doesn't think it should happen, my effort is futile. And, to try to force anything to happen would just complicate matters for everyone involved irreparably. It's just not worth pursuing, when I look at the big picture.
Besides, I still believe in miracles. I believe in a God of hope and restoration. I believe in a God of reparation and guidance. And, if He wants something to happen, I believe He will make a way where there doesn't seem to be one.
In the meantime, I will continue to do good as best I can, in spite of my humanity and imperfection.
As Mr. Langston said in his book (which I have not had time to finish yet...but will try to do so on my next day off work), "If you sit back and wait for it, your destiny will find YOU."
What will be will be.
Fred told me today, "Sweety, I love you and all, but you really do have a way of painting yourself into a corner..."
Perhaps. But, whole room looks better, anyway. LOL
Have a blessed day!
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