Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Red Flag Warnings

When you are contemplating a relationship with someone, it is always best to keep your eyes and ears open. Many people go head first into a relationship, ignoring red flags that could have saved them lots of grief if they had only heeded the warning signs.

I spent 5 years in an abusive relationship. One of the warning signs that I had failed to heed was how quickly his mood changed, and how quickly he was to anger.

It made me feel as if I had done something wrong and I needed to fix it. I spent way too much time in the relationship trying to fix what I didn't mess up to begin with, but at the time it felt as if I had.

When the relationship was over, I found myself acting the same way he had acted toward me, toward everybody else. It was then that I realized I had issues that needed to be fixed. It was then that I decided I was not going to put someone else through what I just came out of.

Remember, if you play in the dirt, you get dirty...so if you find yourself in a friendly situation with someone, and it has not develooped into a relationship yet, and you see a warning sign, it's probably best to keep your distance, stay on friendly terms, but determine to take it extremely slow until these issues are conquered.

Seeing red flags doesn't mean there is no hope for the future. Remember, the person who issued the warning sign probably knows he or she was wrong in doing it, and is working to solve the problem in their own time and at their own pace. If you press the issue and decide to jump in, you are not giving the other person the time to process their feelings and think with a clear mind.

You can be a catalyst for healing, or you can be an emotional (or physical) punching bag. Tread lightly. It is best to make sure all the punches are out before proceeding with caution.

No one likes walking on eggshells all the time.


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