The Dance

I grieve every day of my life.

I grieve for the life I could have have...if only.

I grieve for the mistakes I made, for the mistakes others made, for what I've had to endure because of it, for who I wish I could have been, for who I am now because of it.

I grieve for the ones I love who are so wrapped up in their own lives that they miss what's right in front of them.

I grieve for the pain I see around me, and for not being able to do anything about it -- no matter how much I wish I could just wave my hand and take it all away.

I grieve for how much more I want to give but can't because it isn't accepted.

I grieve the precious time I waste wallowing in the misery of wanting something I can never have; for the hope I continue to have in spite of it, even though it isn't warranted.

Not a day goes by when I don't cry in my frustrations over all my grief, but I continue forward.

I continue forward because I believe in a just God, and I believe in miracles. And, I believe that even if my life comes to a close and I never get what I want, I did what I was supposed to do: endure, love, and have faith. And, I believe that in my next life, God is going to take away all my present desires and pain, and He is going to give me something new and refreshing. I believe that the pain will be worth it.