Relationship discussion: almost everyone has gotten their heart broke at some point in time. What do you all do to deal with it?
When I was working, I would try to work all the hours I could so I wouldn't have to think about it. I used to go to the bars a lot so I wouldn't have to sit at home all by myself. Now, going to church is only two days a week what would I do with the other five?
Oh yeah, that's after the initial crying in my pillow for several days routine. Then when I get in the angry stage I just want to get over it.
This last relationship I had was so bad that I was glad to be out of it but I was afraid to be alone. I did manage though because I had a great job that allowed me to work awesome hours and I had plenty of things to do when I was at home to occupy my time, and being on the computer really helped--a lot.
I'm just curious how others spend their time getting over heartbreak... And how long does it usually last with you?
I've had relationships in the past in which the heartbreak was so bad it took me months to be able to look at another guy again. I've also had relationships that I went straight from the grieving stage to the angry stage and jumped into another relationship. And, I've had relationships where I just carried the pain over and learn to live with it. And this last relationship, I just decided I was done with all of it.
If there is one thing I have gotten good at it's letting go. Yeah there were times when I didn't want to... And I tried everything I knew how to not have to, but when I realized that my dignity was at stake, I finally moved on. After all, you can't make somebody love you, or it isn't Love. But, I've also learned that it's not so easy to let go of something you're still hanging onto.
Regardless of how it happened or what my reaction was, there was always one common denominator for me getting over heartbreak, and that was getting somewhere where I was alone and away from the world mentally and sometimes physically. It's like starting over again, and it's hard to do when the world around you is crashing down on you. I needed time to let the dust settle. If it was a bad heartbreak, the last thing I needed was some guy trying to flirt with me.
I'd love to hear your take on all this!
Margaret Annette Pennel I threw myself into my faith, kids and work. I tried to put on a hard hearted, mean face, but people saw right through me.
Shonda Ponder It took me a long time to be able to look at men again without being angry at them. Especially this last time.
Tami Morgan I've had a void in my heart and that's when I took it to God. He told me that humans can not give me what I need, they can't fill the void only He can do that. I was tired of dead end relationships and the minute that I gave Him all of me I got peace, joy and love. He became my everything.
Shonda Ponder God never took the feelings away from me. Having peace and being heartbroken are two different things in my world. God always gave me peace knowing that I did everything I could. If anything, it was always that still small voice that said, "I told you so." LOL And, "Now, let's see what we can do together." I never listened, really, until five years ago.
Tami Morgan I've had heartbreaks and heartaches too I had peace too but it wasn't the peace that God gives us, it was only temporary. When I gave God everything in my life I'm happier now than ever before. I found that being in a relationship with Jesus is more satisfying than I can get from any where else. That's why I'm still single and waiting on God. He knows the plans He has for me and He knows best.
Shonda Ponder I understand that feeling well. When I finally decided, "Okay, let's do this together...", you have no idea the joy he brought to me in spite of what I've been through. And yeah, peace in abundance. It's like, I don't NEED a man to fulfill me. God has already done that. And I don't think it's so much that he took the heartache away. He just made it easier to live with. And he made me stronger to deal with it. But, we also have to keep in mind that once the healing process is complete, God will put us through a test to see how we deal with it. And believe me when I say it is a wake-up call and a reminder of where you came from.
Tami Morgan has anyone told you what a blessing you are?
Tami Morgan No. No one has told me that, and yes He does test us. I've been tested and I keep my eyes on Jesus cause I've been hurt too many times and I don't trust man cause I haven't found one who will love me like Jesus does
Shonda Ponder I think it starts with being able to love like Jesus does. Until we can give that, there isn't any way we are ever going to get it.
Nicole Cody I spend my time researching the truth t the source and sharing it with others
Shonda Ponder I did that with The Ponder News for a long time
Nicole Cody keeps me occupied and I'm doing something positive with my time.
Shonda Ponder It really does, but be careful that it doesn't take ALL of your time. You still need to reserve some time for serving God. And, that will eventually require you to have contact with other people off-line.
When I was working, I would try to work all the hours I could so I wouldn't have to think about it. I used to go to the bars a lot so I wouldn't have to sit at home all by myself. Now, going to church is only two days a week what would I do with the other five?
Oh yeah, that's after the initial crying in my pillow for several days routine. Then when I get in the angry stage I just want to get over it.
This last relationship I had was so bad that I was glad to be out of it but I was afraid to be alone. I did manage though because I had a great job that allowed me to work awesome hours and I had plenty of things to do when I was at home to occupy my time, and being on the computer really helped--a lot.
I'm just curious how others spend their time getting over heartbreak... And how long does it usually last with you?
I've had relationships in the past in which the heartbreak was so bad it took me months to be able to look at another guy again. I've also had relationships that I went straight from the grieving stage to the angry stage and jumped into another relationship. And, I've had relationships where I just carried the pain over and learn to live with it. And this last relationship, I just decided I was done with all of it.
If there is one thing I have gotten good at it's letting go. Yeah there were times when I didn't want to... And I tried everything I knew how to not have to, but when I realized that my dignity was at stake, I finally moved on. After all, you can't make somebody love you, or it isn't Love. But, I've also learned that it's not so easy to let go of something you're still hanging onto.
Regardless of how it happened or what my reaction was, there was always one common denominator for me getting over heartbreak, and that was getting somewhere where I was alone and away from the world mentally and sometimes physically. It's like starting over again, and it's hard to do when the world around you is crashing down on you. I needed time to let the dust settle. If it was a bad heartbreak, the last thing I needed was some guy trying to flirt with me.
I'd love to hear your take on all this!
Margaret Annette Pennel I threw myself into my faith, kids and work. I tried to put on a hard hearted, mean face, but people saw right through me.
Shonda Ponder It took me a long time to be able to look at men again without being angry at them. Especially this last time.
Tami Morgan I've had a void in my heart and that's when I took it to God. He told me that humans can not give me what I need, they can't fill the void only He can do that. I was tired of dead end relationships and the minute that I gave Him all of me I got peace, joy and love. He became my everything.
Shonda Ponder God never took the feelings away from me. Having peace and being heartbroken are two different things in my world. God always gave me peace knowing that I did everything I could. If anything, it was always that still small voice that said, "I told you so." LOL And, "Now, let's see what we can do together." I never listened, really, until five years ago.
Tami Morgan I've had heartbreaks and heartaches too I had peace too but it wasn't the peace that God gives us, it was only temporary. When I gave God everything in my life I'm happier now than ever before. I found that being in a relationship with Jesus is more satisfying than I can get from any where else. That's why I'm still single and waiting on God. He knows the plans He has for me and He knows best.
Shonda Ponder I understand that feeling well. When I finally decided, "Okay, let's do this together...", you have no idea the joy he brought to me in spite of what I've been through. And yeah, peace in abundance. It's like, I don't NEED a man to fulfill me. God has already done that. And I don't think it's so much that he took the heartache away. He just made it easier to live with. And he made me stronger to deal with it. But, we also have to keep in mind that once the healing process is complete, God will put us through a test to see how we deal with it. And believe me when I say it is a wake-up call and a reminder of where you came from.
Tami Morgan has anyone told you what a blessing you are?
Tami Morgan No. No one has told me that, and yes He does test us. I've been tested and I keep my eyes on Jesus cause I've been hurt too many times and I don't trust man cause I haven't found one who will love me like Jesus does
Shonda Ponder I think it starts with being able to love like Jesus does. Until we can give that, there isn't any way we are ever going to get it.
Nicole Cody I spend my time researching the truth t the source and sharing it with others
Shonda Ponder I did that with The Ponder News for a long time
Nicole Cody keeps me occupied and I'm doing something positive with my time.
Shonda Ponder It really does, but be careful that it doesn't take ALL of your time. You still need to reserve some time for serving God. And, that will eventually require you to have contact with other people off-line.
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