Not Looking for Love

Hello, World.

I get SOOO tired of hearing, "God is going to send someone who is going to love you like NO OTHER and you will live happily ever after."

I'm sorry, but ya'll just don't get it.

I am not looking to have a relationship.

Yes, I thought about it. Yes. I considered it. I even stepped out to try to see if maybe I needed one.

But I VERY QUICKLY realized that I do not want a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. I don't want just ANY man in my life. I don't NEED a Prince Charming to come and rescue me. And I SURE don't want to put myself out there so some guy thinks he's going to score with me when that is not going to happen. I am NOT desperate. I am not needy. I am not co-dependent. I am not lonely. I don't want to USE anybody. And, I don't need some man to pay my bills for me.

IF I EVER DO decide to have a relationship with someone, it is going to be with someone that I have been friends with for long enough to get to know what I am getting myself into. AND, it is going to be with someone who is easy to hang with, fun to be around, and has a heart of gold. Someone who understands exactly what it means to love somebody, and who doesn't make me feel pressured in any way shape or form. It is going to be with someone that I KNOW loves me past their sexual urge, and someone I feel I can trust beyond all measure, and who I feel deserves beyond a shadow of a doubt all I have to give. It is going to be someone I RESPECT.

AND the ONLY way that will EVER happen is with someone I have spent TIME with and built some history with.

If a man doesn't know how to be a good friend FIRST, then it will NEVER happen.

Yes, maybe God will provide such a man. Then again, maybe He has other plans for my life. Not EVERYBODY has a soulmate, and even if they do, not all soulmates fall in love and get married.

IF that ever happens, he will be someone who loves me just for the way I am, and doesn't see the need to try to change me, and isn't looking for Miss Perfect. I don't need perfect. I need GENUINE. I need REAL.

Of all the men I know who even come CLOSE to fitting that bill, none of them are available, so I am content right where I am at.

It would take a miracle for me to have what I really want, and until I can have it, I REFUSE to settle.

At least that way, I'll know it's GOD and not ME when and IF it ever happens.

So, stop trying to "console" me. I don't need consoling. Stop thinking I am less than whole. I assure you, God made me WHOLE. Stop thinking I just need to find someone and get laid. It don't work like that. Stop trying to come on to me thinking that just because I am available I am naive and easy. My availability depends on what I think you are worth to me.

And, believe me, if I ever JUST want to get laid, I'll be the one approaching you, not the other way around. As it stands, I've done without it long enough to know I don't have to have it.

I love myself too much to let any man turn my life upside down again. If he doesn't ENHANCE my life I have no use for him.

Make me laugh. Give me a reason to wake up in the morning that I don't already have. I like my life. Make me feel like my life would be BETTER with you in it. Believe me, that isn't easy to do with someone who is happy and content and has worked as hard as I have to get there. It is not something I will ever willingly give up or let anyone "disrupt".

Just saying.