Spaghetti

7/29/16 (The day before)
Came home and Liz (My live-in maid/roommate) has my house decorated with pictures and what nots. She said, "I didn't cook tonight." I said, "That's okay, I ate at Denny's." LOL Then she asked me, "Will you cook spaghetti tomorrow night?" I said, "Do we have the stuff?" She said, "No." I said, "So I have to go to the store tomorrow to get Spaghetti stuff?" She said, "That's why I asked." Sigh...she likes my spaghetti. LOL...so we're having spaghetti tomorrow. Just because she asked.She doesn't ask for much.

Ain't it pretty

Back in 2005, in my younger more stupid years, I used to own a bar. I ran it for about 9 months. Long enough for it to birth out what was going to become of me so that God could later be glorified.

Anyway, I had a spaghetti dinner one night. I made the spaghetti. There was a LOT of it.

Not many people came by that night, so at the end of the night, there was still a LOT of spaghetti left.

I knew the Banshees MC was hanging out at their clubhouse that night, and quite a few would be there. So, I called them up. I told them who I was and asked them if they were hungry.

"Yeah, a little." was the reply.

I told them I had a lot of Spaghetti left and asked them if I could bring it to them.

They agreed.

When I got there, I set everything up. They had to provide some of the dishes...but hey...

Then I sat back and watched as every last bite of my spaghetti disappeared.

One of them went back three times. I asked him, "Are you enjoying that?"

"It's the best ******* spaghetti I've ever ate in my LIFE!"

I thoroughly enjoyed that night. And, it brought me some business, later.

Liz was my bartender back then. I think she remembered it. Maybe that is why she asked for it.

When I was only 14 years old, I used to hang out with three friends. I dated one and my friend Malissa dated one. So, every outing was like a double date. We did lots of things together: bonfires in the middle of a hay field, sitting around the fire playing guitar and drinking wine...horseback riding at the lake. I think we went skating once. I even got them to agree to go to church...once. LOL

On Sundays, we'd hang out and watch wrestling. One Sunday, my mom made spaghetti. My friends still talk about it today. It's where I got the recipe. My mom.

And, there are nothing but good memories surrounding Spaghetti!

Living "Outside the Box"

I am a people watcher. I watch people, what they say, how they say it, how they act, their body language, and try to figure out why they say what they say and do what they do on a deeper level, so that I can understand people that I come into contact with each day...their motives, their goals, and what they ultimately want.

Most people want to "belong". They do and say things that they know will get them pats on the back, or "likes" on Facebook, or what they perceive as "respect" from their peers. What I have found is that no matter how many pats, likes, or friends a person has, if he or she doesn't believe in their own cause, seems stuck "spinning their wheels", never seems to be "improving" their own lives, they are unhappy, alone, and miserable.

I have learned to live "outside the box". This means that I don't care how many "pats on the back" I get, or how many "likes" on Facebook or any other social media, or how many people want to shake my hand or brag that they know me. I care about truth. I care about my relationship with the One that IS "the Way, the Truth, and the Life." As a result, I have become extremely happy. I HAVE a sense of belonging that I didn't ask for, and I get people around me that love me, even though I am imperfect.

Trying to be perfect without acknowledging the one who is as the one who can make you so is like competing with a giant who could squish you at will with no consequences to bear for it. I'd rather have the giant carry me on His shoulder. The Giant I serve, however, is merciful in that He gives people a chance to be carried. He is careful not to squish even those who hate Him, in hopes that they will change their point of view toward Him. One day, however, He will become angry at their insolence enough to squish them all, so He will only be surrounded by those who really love Him. Those He would lovingly do anything for, lifting them higher and higher so they can see the Universe as He does.

I could care less what others think of me or my beliefs. I only become aggressive when others try to deny my right to worship in the way I see fit. Worship for me is not something I do on one day of the week, for a few hours. Worship is something I do with my life, in living how He has said I should live.

If I have to do it alone, by myself, I will do it because it fulfills me, and with Him, I am NEVER alone.

Let my daily prayer be as this woman's in the final scenes of "The War Room"

I serve the God of all time and wonder...

Good morning, World.

I don't know which way this country is headed. I don't know what God has in store for tomorrow. I don't know if it is going to be a busy day at the hospital today or not. I don't know if I'll even be here tomorrow, or if you will.

I don't know if I'll lose my sister or brother to the violence that seems to permeate our world at times, or if my niece's and nephews will survive to have children or see their grandchildren in this world that is slowly growing more chaotic every day.

I don't know if I'll lose my mom or dad to some sort of foreign outbreak that makes its way to this part of the world, or if disease and plague will be the talk of the day.

I don't know if my own children will make choices to stand for peace, light and hope in this world of darkness and suffering.

But, I do know one thing. Jesus is coming soon. Right now, I pray that God walks with us through these valleys and over these mountains and through the raging rivers and on the tidal waves of our lives. I pray that His Will is to protect us, and love us, and provide for our every need. His word has already said it was so. And, I believe He will do what He says.

I believe that God never changes. The same God that spared Noah, knocked down the walls of Jericho, made the sun stand still, divided the Red Sea, fed the Israelites with manna from heaven for forty years, comforted Elijah with bread and oil from a poor widow who had poured her last drop into a cup, healed the sick, caused the blind to see, cast out demons and so much more, is the same God I serve today.

He is the same God that breathed life into my oldest son who was born lifeless. He gave me shelter and food when I was homeless. He helped me and a friend walk away from a car that ran up a tree and flipped over 3 times with minor concussion and scratches. He gave me a job that allows me to give more to others, by what I do as well as what I have. He has given me everything I own at minimal cost, if any at all, to me. He helped me pay off debts in less than half the time allowed, when I had little money. Every single day He performs miracles in my life, and in the lives of those around me that I can see and experience and Praise Him for.

And, no matter what happens in this world, I know that He loves me, He is with me. And, He is watching over me and my family, and my friends daily.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus. I wait for your final deliverance from all of this evil.

My day is always blessed, no matter how I feel.

I hope yours is, too.

What will Jesus find you doing when He comes back?

I got to thinking: If Jesus had come back yesterday, what would He have found me doing? I woke up singing "Noone like Jesus". I sang it all day at work when things were quiet and I was alone...and I sang it loud. LOL At home, I bathed and readied for work, and posted on the internet. At work, I searched for ways to make the best use of my time, and my team's time. I listened to gripes, offered solutions, and shrugged a lot. (I follow the rules, too...LOL). But, when someone called me on the phone needing something, I did what I could to make it happen! Then, I came home, petted my dogs, ate, and watched Netflix, and played Candy Crush. I fell asleep intending to listen to praise and worship music on Pandora...but I didn't make it that far. I was tired. What were YOU doing?

If Jesus comes back right now, what ARE you doing? I woke up contemplating a dream I had last night about buying a house from a questionable character because it was cheap. I wondered what it could mean. I bathed, then hopped in my car, promising my dogs I'd be back with treats. I went to Walmart and arranged to pay my last car payment and withdrew allowance for the next two weeks. Left the rest in the bank for bills. I bought crafts and food. And Pupcorn for the dogs. I keep my promises. I am home now, trying to get people to think about what they might be doing when HE comes back. I'm fixing to go to work again, and serve the public, making sure that disease and sickness doesn't pass from one person to another due to a contaminated environment. Then, I'll come home late at night, and Praise God again, as I relax and wind down for the night. What are you doing? What will you be doing when Jesus comes back? Will He say "Well, done, my good and faithful servant" if He looks at your everyday life?

Will He say that to me?

If this has inspired you, please share it!

Meatloaf

Hello, World!

I woke up and decided to find a new Christian radio station on the Internet to listen to while I make my meatloaf. (Oh, it's gonna be good!!!!!!! I smell it baking now...) I'll make enough to share, because it's gonna be too good not to!

Vitamins. They not only keep you healthy and make you hungry, but lately I've been sleeping good and actually wanting to get out of bed and do things when I wake up. I'm not dragging when I get off work, either. My creativity is creeping back. My emotional health is healthier.

My probationary period for my new position at work is up this week. Guess what? I think I get to keep my job!

I also went ahead and put in for vacation time in October. I will be taking it during the week of my birthday.

My roommate came in and grabbed some clothes. She came in on the 3rd and left again on the 4th. At least she washed the dishes before she left.

Hope your day is as blessed as mine is!

Independence Day, the day after

Independence Day has gone. Normally, on Independence Day, I would have posted many nostalgic writings of how proud I am of my country, or how disappointed I am in where my country is headed, or even historical references as to why it is important to celebrate the 4th of July.

This year, I rarely posted anything at all. I spent the day, rather, trying to help a friend learn to appreciate her independence. I think I failed. I hate failure.

Then, as I was readying myself to celebrate what was left of the day by clocking in for work, a blast from the past wishes me a happy 4th and puts things into perspective for me.

He was right. Never second guess your choices in life. It will drive you crazy. That's practically what my friend was going through, and not where I wanted to be. And, my blessings are far greater than any regrets for what didn't happen...or did.

So, as I move forward, realizing that independence isn't something I should celebrate just once a day in the year, I find myself thankful for the life I am living today, and tomorrow.

I am free. If I were bound by the wrists and ankles in a prison somewhere, I would still be free. How much more blessed can I be?

Discussing Guns

I think a gun that can shoot one bullet to kill one human being is just as dangerous in the wrong hands as one that can shoot 700 rounds. I also believe that if anyone takes away my right to own either is putting me into danger when face to face with a criminal who obtained his weapon illegally. Whether he got the weapon legal or not, not having the option of owning a gun with the same firepower diminishes my ability to defend myself.

And, if you think you are going to make such weapons disappear completely so they can't be obtained illegally, you are dreaming.

Defeating Hatred Starts at Home

Hatred starts as a child. it is up to parents to curb hatred in the hearts of children.

When my oldest son was young child, he had preconceived notions from other people in his life about different races, creeds and colors. I knew I had to nip that in the bud.

I would take them to the babysitter (Miss Deborah, who was a beautiful black lady who cared deeply for the children she kept for a living for a very small fee, any hour of the day or night, which was very appreciated by someone who was struggling, like myself). When I would pick him up, I was met with stories about how bad of little boy he had been. The words he had used were horrifying.

Miss Deborah knew that I wouldn't tolerate it. She knew that he had just come to live with me after eight years of fighting for him, and she understood that I was going to have problems. I praise and thank God for her patience.

But, I struggled with how I was going to teach him better. A spanking, in this case (even though he got one) I knew would just make him angrier. It didn't seem like enough just to say he shouldn't do or say those things.

So, I decided to take him to church. Not just any church, but a black church. I forced him to be friends with and to live around people of color. I taught him to be respectful of other people's station in life, poor or rich. Black or white. Ill or well.

Today, he doesn't even remember the horrifying things he did or said. I praise God for that. But, I shudder to think how he would have turned out had I not done what I had to do.

So, when I see people today lashing out at each other for their color, their race, their handicap, or their financial struggles, I proverbially shake my fist at their parents. They were not taught different as a child. And, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Appreciating Here and Now

I live each day now embracing anything that comes my way. Tomorrow, I won't have those same things coming my way. I know that. Will I look back on yesterday with regret for how I reacted, acted or let it go? I hope not. I look at each blooming bulb with wonder. How will it look when it matures? Can I help it become more beautiful?

When people look back and see me in their memories, will I be someone who burdened them, or someone who, somehow, lightened their load. Will their memories of me be good ones to cherish, or just a passing thought?

I look back on where I have been in my early years and I shudder. I would that I could introduce myself to many of those I came into contact with then and say, "Look at me now. I am not the same person...don't throw me away! It will be worth it to get to know who I've become!"

God has molded me into something beautiful. He's still working on the finer points. I still have a few rough edges to work out, but who I am today I would not trade for who I was yesterday.

And, who I am right here, right now is nothing compared to who I am becoming.

I pray that whoever I become teaches me to live even more fully in the moment.

He's having the time of my life...

I love the life that God has blessed me with today.

I remember a time when I dreaded not having a relationship with a man. After this last relationship, I determined to give it to God, and take a break from bad relationships. I figured the only way I was ever going to have what I wanted was to depend on God to help me get it for myself.

Since I made that decision, I have become aware that every decision I make now doesn't need validation by a "partner". If God doesn't object to it, then whatever I decide will work out. And, if He DOES object, I have learned to accept it, and to embrace the situation for what it is and look for another doorway to somewhere better.

Today, I went and spent money that I normally would not spend to eat at Red Lobster...by myself...with Jesus in my heart. As I sat there enjoying my meal, another waitress (not my own) started telling me about a "Hallelujah, Anyhow" experience that she had. I felt so blessed just to be there to listen. This had to be God's way of telling me, "I'm here, Shonda. Enjoy your meal. You have been faithful, and you deserve it. Stop feeling guilty."

I smiled all the way home. I had just had a date with the Master of the Universe. It was worth it.

Can't wait to see where He takes me tomorrow.