Start of Something Good

I had a great day yesterday. I cooked some Northern Beans and Ham and we had Honey Ham Sandwiches to eat.

Me and Fred watched some weird movies.

I chased the cat off the tables and counters a few times.

I collect $40 in Avon sales, and tried to collect 40 more, but they didn't have the money today.

And, I had a wonderful conversation with a great friend.

As far as dating, I've realized that I'd rather have friends than take a chance at having enemies. And, until I can find that one friend that I can enjoy being with in the good times and the bad who loves me, anyway, I just don't think dating anyone exclusively is meant for me.

I also learned today that how I react to any situation I don't like determines how well the situation turns out. And, sometimes it hurts your back to water a flower, but when it grows it's beautiful and worth the pain.

God never said life would be easy. He just said He'd walk through it with me. Today, I did the right thing and, though my heart is bruised, I know it's worth the blessing.

As I said, yesterday I was nursing a bruised heart. But, I've come to realize, that doing the right thing even when it hurts will end up making me happier.

And, I've also learned that my decision to be single and chaste is going to bring in a series of tests before I ever get what I want.

I've been wondering where the men are that liked having a good woman. The truth is that the man who finally does come along is probably also wondering the same thing. And he's going to do everything in his power to see if you are the kind of woman that he is looking at.

A good man may not even follow through. He may just want to know what you would do. So, ladies, be careful about the decisions you make while dating. And even if it hurts, do the right thing. Because, a good man is going to want you to be able to make some hard decisions if you are going to be with him.

A man who is looking to eventually commit is going to want to know what kind of woman he is committing to. He is going to want to know not only what your character is but what your personality is like. Are you going to nag him all the time? Are you going to fail to give him necessary space to make decisions for himself? Are you going to stiffle his manhood? are you going to be the kind of person who will shame him in front of his friends?

Men and women have different ways of finding things out about each other before they get involved. And how you handle your chastity is a big step in the process.

I can be honest at this point and tell you I still have a lot of work to be done on myself before I can think about being with someone else. And right now I can only say that eventually, I always do the right thing.

Though I am probably more patient than I've ever been in my life, I still need to learn to have patience even more. And, I need to value myself a whole lot more than even I thought I was doing.

I have learned so much just in the past couple of months. And today, I am on my knees praying that God keeps giving me the clarity He is beginning to give me in more abundance. And that He allows me the time to learn the lessons I need to learn well before I take a step into a relationship that He has planned for me.

Growing pains hurt. They hurt bad. But no one ever truly stops growing when they are a child of God.

And the blessings are enormous!

Everything to me

When I was young, there were several times that I thought I had found "the one". Each time left me hurt, angry, feeling betrayed, unwanted, unneeded, or even objectified. I gave all I had in each only to be disappointed.

It wasn't until this last relationship ended that I realized that I had been giving all I was and all I had to the wrong person. I decided it was time to correct that.

Now, I am able to give all I have and all I am to the One who created me for His own glory. In return, He has sustained, strengthened, upheld, protected and provided for me in ways I never imagined were possible.

Yes, I have stumbled in my desire to please Him, but I have immediately stood up each time and dusted myself off and "straightened my crown," determined that weakness was temporary, and love was eternal.

As a single Christian, I find myself able to do things that I know that should I have a mate, would be missed. Like, acting on impulse to bless someone else, or openly showing my gratitude to others for what my husband should be providing.

Then, I felt so alone and hopeless. Now I find that I am never lonely, even when I am alone. I have discovered new ways to fill the void that being single often leaves on others -- ways that I would not be as free to practice if I had a mate.

I am FREE to be TOTALLY ME; the person God created me to be.

I find myself in total agreement with Paul as I live out these words of wisdom from the Holy Book:

1 Corinthians 7:
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

I have also found that I have no problem being single and being able to celebrate the marriage and happiness of my friends who have reached milestones with each other in their own lives. To each his own. What is given for me to be and do is not so for others.

Having said that, I am extremely Happy for my friend Rosa Edwards today as she and her husband celebrate 24 years of marriage.

I wrote a poem when I was 12 years old one day, doodling on my book cover in class, that goes something like this:

I look my eyes up to the sky
And ask the Lord above so high
"Why me?" Then comes from the blue,
"Because, my child, you are YOU!"

I praise God for who I am today. And like Paul, I wish to remain single, and I would that others could have the experience I have had being so.

Colossians 3
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

I have endeavored to be the best single person I can be for the Lord.

The song below says everything I have said above. It fits perfect.

Jesus is the only man I need

If there is one thing I have learned, it's that there is only one man in this world who is truly capable of loving you "forever and a day", and He was tortured to set me free over two thousand years ago. He defeated hell and the grave in order to give me life with Him "forever and a day."

If any man ever tells you they love you that much, don't believe them. The truth is that there isn't a man alive who has ever gone through that for you, or ever could.

There is only one man who has ever lived that has never given up on me, and loves me no matter how many times I fail him.

I don't think I could be happy with anyone else after getting to know him.

I am blessed.

As Pastor Matthew sings sometimes, "If there never comes another blessing my way then I still have to say I am blessed."

If this has inspired you, please share it!

He's having the time of my life...

I love the life that God has blessed me with today.

I remember a time when I dreaded not having a relationship with a man. After this last relationship, I determined to give it to God, and take a break from bad relationships. I figured the only way I was ever going to have what I wanted was to depend on God to help me get it for myself.

Since I made that decision, I have become aware that every decision I make now doesn't need validation by a "partner". If God doesn't object to it, then whatever I decide will work out. And, if He DOES object, I have learned to accept it, and to embrace the situation for what it is and look for another doorway to somewhere better.

Today, I went and spent money that I normally would not spend to eat at Red Lobster...by myself...with Jesus in my heart. As I sat there enjoying my meal, another waitress (not my own) started telling me about a "Hallelujah, Anyhow" experience that she had. I felt so blessed just to be there to listen. This had to be God's way of telling me, "I'm here, Shonda. Enjoy your meal. You have been faithful, and you deserve it. Stop feeling guilty."

I smiled all the way home. I had just had a date with the Master of the Universe. It was worth it.

Can't wait to see where He takes me tomorrow.