Staying Chaste

One of the things that I have experienced from being chaste is that when men finally realize that you are serious in your commitment to stay that way until a commitment with them is reached, they want to turn tail and run.

Most men in this day and age will only get married for two reasons: they either knocked you up or they want to own you.

They only sleep with you for one reason: they are horny.

I'm sorry but neither of those is reason enough for me to spread my legs.

I want a man who is emotionally invested. So if a man is emotionally unavailable, he might as well not even try.

And, it's going to take a lot more than words to prove how emotionally invested he is. So if he isn't willing to spend time with me, or to talk to me about personal and intimate issues, and he doesn't believe in the things that I believe in, and he doesn't like to do the things that I like to do or vice versa, then I am not interested and it will never happen. And, it takes time to get to know all of this about each other. So, jumping right in bed is not an option.

I have ended up with enough losers in my life. I want to make good and sure I'm not going to end up with someone who is a loser again.

One of the things I've learned since I made the decision not to spread my legs about 5 years ago, is that you start to see things with a much clearer vision. I have realized that God doesn't make laws in order to trip us up or make us feel guilty. He makes his laws for our protection.

So when some loser comes along, and he doesn't stand the test of time that it takes to build a relationship, I praise God that I had his rules to guide me.

Everything to me

When I was young, there were several times that I thought I had found "the one". Each time left me hurt, angry, feeling betrayed, unwanted, unneeded, or even objectified. I gave all I had in each only to be disappointed.

It wasn't until this last relationship ended that I realized that I had been giving all I was and all I had to the wrong person. I decided it was time to correct that.

Now, I am able to give all I have and all I am to the One who created me for His own glory. In return, He has sustained, strengthened, upheld, protected and provided for me in ways I never imagined were possible.

Yes, I have stumbled in my desire to please Him, but I have immediately stood up each time and dusted myself off and "straightened my crown," determined that weakness was temporary, and love was eternal.

As a single Christian, I find myself able to do things that I know that should I have a mate, would be missed. Like, acting on impulse to bless someone else, or openly showing my gratitude to others for what my husband should be providing.

Then, I felt so alone and hopeless. Now I find that I am never lonely, even when I am alone. I have discovered new ways to fill the void that being single often leaves on others -- ways that I would not be as free to practice if I had a mate.

I am FREE to be TOTALLY ME; the person God created me to be.

I find myself in total agreement with Paul as I live out these words of wisdom from the Holy Book:

1 Corinthians 7:
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

I have also found that I have no problem being single and being able to celebrate the marriage and happiness of my friends who have reached milestones with each other in their own lives. To each his own. What is given for me to be and do is not so for others.

Having said that, I am extremely Happy for my friend Rosa Edwards today as she and her husband celebrate 24 years of marriage.

I wrote a poem when I was 12 years old one day, doodling on my book cover in class, that goes something like this:

I look my eyes up to the sky
And ask the Lord above so high
"Why me?" Then comes from the blue,
"Because, my child, you are YOU!"

I praise God for who I am today. And like Paul, I wish to remain single, and I would that others could have the experience I have had being so.

Colossians 3
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

I have endeavored to be the best single person I can be for the Lord.

The song below says everything I have said above. It fits perfect.