Patience

God knows my heart. I've prayed until my tears can fill up a bucket.

I know God never ignores prayer. There are three answers God can give to any prayer: "Yes". "No." And, "Not right now."

I keep praying that His "No" is just a "Not right now." I also pray for a door to finally shut -- either the door in front of me, or the door behind me.

If the door behind me shuts, I have finally received what I have been praying so fervently for. I can move ahead with new life, and new energy...and new dreams.

I want for that door to shut so much!

If the door in front of me shuts, then I know there is no point in praying more for what I am hoping for. The decision has been made. It's final.

I want for that door to shut just as much!

I also know that God can open closed doors when He wants to. He has proven that to me time and again...but to know that the door in front of me is locked and sealed shut is to accept that I need to move on completely, without looking back at the struggle that got me there. To accept the futility of knocking any more. If it should open again in the future, then I will again be on my knees praying again. But, I want peace in my heart about the prayer for right now.

I just would rather have the pain of finality than the pain of the waiting for an answer.

God, however, expects patience.

I am reminded constantly that I am not God.

Trump decision...

It's time for me to call it a night. But, before I do, I'd like to weigh in on the Trump win.

I'm not a fan of Mr. Trump, and though I have acknowledged that he is the lesser of the two evils available, I still didn't vote for either one.
However, that does not mean that I will kick and scream because I did not get my way.

We had an election. A contest. A vote. Trump won.

The Bible says
Romans 13:1
“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”

What this means is that Trump is now our President because GOD willed it. And, if God willed it, then we should respect it. Like it or not.

There are times when I cannot stand by someone who has wronged me without wanting to bash his or her face in for the pain they have caused me. However, I grit my teeth, I smile, I am kind to them. Not because I want to be, but because GOD wants me to be. (Luke 6:27)

Therefore, I am going to give Mr. Trump the utmost respect now that he is President Donald Trump. He is the President of the Greatest Country on God's Green Earth, and that is worthy of all of my respect.

This does not mean that I should sit back and remain quiet when the Donald makes bad decisions as President. As American Citizens who are Kings and Priests unto our God, it is our duty to hold our leaders accountable. (Revelation 5:10)

My pastor made it a point tonight to remind us that if we don't talk to our God in prayer, then we can't gripe when He doesn't come when we need Him. He can't listen if we don't speak.

Today, many see Trump as an answer to prayer. All I have to say at this point is be careful what you ask for. You might just get it. God IS a God who answers prayer.

Good night, World. May peace be with you. May your joy not be fleeting. And, may America REALLY be great again!

Living "Outside the Box"

I am a people watcher. I watch people, what they say, how they say it, how they act, their body language, and try to figure out why they say what they say and do what they do on a deeper level, so that I can understand people that I come into contact with each day...their motives, their goals, and what they ultimately want.

Most people want to "belong". They do and say things that they know will get them pats on the back, or "likes" on Facebook, or what they perceive as "respect" from their peers. What I have found is that no matter how many pats, likes, or friends a person has, if he or she doesn't believe in their own cause, seems stuck "spinning their wheels", never seems to be "improving" their own lives, they are unhappy, alone, and miserable.

I have learned to live "outside the box". This means that I don't care how many "pats on the back" I get, or how many "likes" on Facebook or any other social media, or how many people want to shake my hand or brag that they know me. I care about truth. I care about my relationship with the One that IS "the Way, the Truth, and the Life." As a result, I have become extremely happy. I HAVE a sense of belonging that I didn't ask for, and I get people around me that love me, even though I am imperfect.

Trying to be perfect without acknowledging the one who is as the one who can make you so is like competing with a giant who could squish you at will with no consequences to bear for it. I'd rather have the giant carry me on His shoulder. The Giant I serve, however, is merciful in that He gives people a chance to be carried. He is careful not to squish even those who hate Him, in hopes that they will change their point of view toward Him. One day, however, He will become angry at their insolence enough to squish them all, so He will only be surrounded by those who really love Him. Those He would lovingly do anything for, lifting them higher and higher so they can see the Universe as He does.

I could care less what others think of me or my beliefs. I only become aggressive when others try to deny my right to worship in the way I see fit. Worship for me is not something I do on one day of the week, for a few hours. Worship is something I do with my life, in living how He has said I should live.

If I have to do it alone, by myself, I will do it because it fulfills me, and with Him, I am NEVER alone.

Let my daily prayer be as this woman's in the final scenes of "The War Room"

Water and Prayer

Hello, World!

I am being forced to drink two glasses of water between every glass of tea I drink. I am hoping it helps this pain in my lower left side of my back. I think it is my kidneys.

Liz (my roommate) says I should drink a beer. She says beer cleans out your kidneys. I hate the taste of beer, and I don't want to ask all of the alcoholics on my friends list if that is true. I think I'll stick with water. I don't like the taste of beer anyway.

I really don't like the taste of water, either; but, the after effects of water is a whole lot better than beer. A friend says that if I drink water before meals, it helps me not eat so much, too. Gonna have to try that. I drink a lot of tea and it doesn't help.

I look at my life and how much it can change in just one year, and I am amazed. I look at two years ago and I am even more amazed. When I need proof that God is working in my life, I just sit down and reflect on where I have been.

Today, when I opened my facebook page, I got a memory from a year ago that included a prayer that I prayed a year ago:

"Praying God stays right beside me, prepares the way before me, leads me into His Will, Blesses my efforts, and destroys any obstacle that gets in my way."

It was my daily prayer. Still is. And, each day just seems to get better!

I also pray that each of you have as blessed a day as I!