In the Heat of the Battle...

Hello, World.

Today, I don't have to work. My birthday is on Sunday, but I have to work. I start my vacation on Tuesday. I don't go to work again until next Monday after that.

Today, I got paid, but it's all spent. Oh well.... I'm going to trust God to provide for me as He always does and today, I'm going on a date with Jesus and celebrating another year of my life.

I try to write down ten things I have learned this year, around my birthday.

1. God is my vengence. He fights my battles.

2. There is always room to love one more.

3. We are called to love, even if it disappoints.

4. We can not let our things get in the way of being who God has called us to be.

5. Sometimes, God's plan requires us to let go of everything, leave everything behind, in order to get to where He is taking us.

6. Sometimes we have to lose everything in order to be reminded of who we should depend on.

7. I might have gone down in the heat of the battle, but don't count me out of the fight.

8. There is no strength in me, except that which God gives me in order to endure.

9. Whenever night time comes, we must focus on the joy that comes in the morning.

10. Our want to depends on what we do when we are on our knees.

It's better to have loved and lost...

On October 22, 2016:

My baby dogs are getting ready to go on a trip. I won't see them again for a long time, if I do. But, I know they will be loved and cared for. That is what is important. They will be happy. They will have OUTSIDE! (I know Milo will love that!) And, they will have family.

I have already cried my heart out over a week ago. I'm all cried out...but I know when I least expect it, I'll probably cry some more. They are my babies.

For four years, Milo and I have been through everything together. When I cried, he licked my tears. When I laughed, he ran in circles. He is my best friend.

And then came Otis. Jealous, sweet, spoiled, Schizo Otis. He wasn't Milo to me, but he is family. I love him as much as I do Milo.

I wish them love, happiness, adventure, memories and safety. I wish his new family many years of laughter and love with my babies.

I will miss them, dearly.

My baby dogs just got to their new home. They are over 100 miles away from me now. But, I am happy. From what I hear, they were spoilt before they even got out of town. Chicken McNuggets? Really? I bet Milo LOVED THAT! LOL

October 23, 2016

Hello, World.

I woke up this morning and took a bath. It was so quiet. The Baby dogs didn't lick me awake. I didn't have to dodge the puppy pads (which I forgot to put in that care package I sent with them, along with their shampoo). It's gonna take some getting used to.

The apartment seemed...empty.

I went to church. One member hugged my neck and asked me how I was doing. "Better now." was my response.

She said, "You weren't doing good?"

I held back. LOL. I know she didn't mean it the way it came out. But, I fought to keep my retort in. It made me feel like I hadn't been in church for over two weeks and no one even noticed. Oh well. I don't go to church to be noticed anyway. Except by HIM.

I looked around to see if I could invite someone to go to the lake with me. I didn't see anyone. So, I went alone.

I enjoyed every bite of fish I had, and I asked my sister if she was gonna let me take Mylee to see The Nutcracker in December. She said I could. And, Mylee said she would.

Then, I came home. No babies to greet me at the door.

I took a nap.

I'm fixing to go back to church. Then I'll come home and wash clothes.

And watch netflix, or play Fallout, or listen to preachin. Anything so I won't think about what's missing.

Have a blessed day.

(Later that night)

I washed clothes, sheets, blankets. I changed my bedding. I was thinking, no more dog hairs to wash so often now. My pillows won't get torn up. I can take off my clothes whereever and not worry about them getting chewed up. My shoes are safe.

I am having to re adjust to not having dogs.

I saw my niece Mylee today with her new puppy, Bella. Bella was definitely Mylee's puppy. She followed Mylee around like Mylee was her momma. She even did what she was told some. Mylee had her on a leash, and she didn't mind, so long as Mylee didn't leave her.

In a way, I envied her. In another way, I wanted to shout a warning to her: "Mylee! Honey, do you know what you did? Do you know the pain you are going to feel one day?"

All I could do was smile and remember a quote from Shakespeare:

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Wanna go bye bye?

This I believe...

I was scrolling across my memories today and found this from 2012. It triggered a memory from way before that when I was in my late teens, early 20s. I was dating a guy who was called to be a Pentecostal preacher. But, he had turned atheist. Even back then, I carried my Bible everywhere I went. I read it every day.

He saw me reading it one day and he asked me, "You really believe that, don't you?"

I saId, "yes. I do. Do you?"

He said, "I used to." Then he told me his history. He said, "It just started sounding like a fairy tale. I mean, a flood that covers the whole world? Really?"

I didn't have enough knowledge then to defend my faith, except to explain to him that that is what faith is about, believing in things that can't be explained.

I asked him if he had a problem with me believing it.

He said, "Not at all. I mean, it's like this: If you believe and you die, then nothing will happen if it's not true. But, if I don't believe, and it IS true, and I die, then I'm DEAD wrong."

We broke up not too long after that. Not because of that. It wasn't right anyway. But, it did produce a productive memory.

Pupcorn (with Milo and Otis)

Give it all to Jesus!

More than Conquerors!

The devil thought he had me. But God...

I have really bad days just like everyone else, but I've learned to smile through them. Success isn't determined by how well you stay standing. True success is determined by how well you get back up. By that standard, I am more than a conqueror!

Romans 8:37
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”

If this has inspired you, please share it!

My hope is secure...

Good morning, World!

The only person who can make you happy is you. If someone is getting in the way of you being happy, then it's YOUR fault for allowing it.

Sometimes you have to just let go. Nip it in the bud. And then, don't look back. If you are going to look back then you are keeping yourself open for more.

One step at a time. Baby steps.

See yourself for who are what you are: A survivor. A child of God. An overcomer.

And, then, prepare for the worse and hope for the best.

My boss asked me yesterday why I haven't considered buying a new (NEW) car. I told her that I like my security. I don't want to make payments. If I owe a bill, then I am in debt. If I am in debt, then I am an oppressed slave to my lusts. I'll buy something that gets me where I need to go and I can pay it outright and it will pay for itself before it doesn't run anymore.

If I need to go out of town, I can rent a car.

Right now, I have situated myself so that if I lose my job today, I can get a minimum wage job if I have to and be able to pay my bills. Actually, I can work min wage part time and be able to make it without worrying.

And, I have three months rent saved up. Two months of rent WITH bills.

I did this with God as my provider and my partner in life. I did not have a man to help me. I did not have a man to get in my way. And, I do not miss one.

I have come to know myself rather well, and I have come to be able to give more of myself as I am able to anyone in need without being impeded or have to ask permission.

There IS freedom in making wise choices.

Proverbs 9:10
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”

Have a blessed day!

Try getting it out. Just Try.

Someone on my friend's list said:
"Donald Trump is the only non-Establishment Republican who ran - and won. He is God's man, for God's plan, at this time. A vote for a third party candidate, or a write-in vote for Cruz or anyone else, or not voting, is support for Hillary."

This is my response:
If Donald Trump IS indeed God's man, and if it IS God's plan that Donald Trump be president, then my vote won't matter. When God has a plan, it's GOING to happen. l, however, am STILL not voting for evil, even if he IS the lesser of the two. I do not presume to know the mind of God. I only know what He has said in His Word. And, His Word says that one needs to ask for forgiveness before they are accepted into the Kingdom. Donald does not think he needs to because he doesn't believe he has ever sinned. That's enough reason right there for me not to vote for him.

Tie into that the fact he doesn't respect women and he's all about "making deals" rather than following the Constitution, and that is all the reason I need NOT to vote for him.

No, his opponent isn't any better. In fact, she is worse. However, I won't vote to enable one sin over the other.

I vote, instead, to let God have His way. I throw up my hands and believe that no matter what, God's got this. The inevitable is that we are doomed, no matter what sin we vote for. Why prolong the inevitable?

And before you beg me to give Trump a chance because, after all, all of the Bible is full of imperfect heroes: we had no choice in electing Abraham, Gideon, or any of the other Biblical personalities that have been the focus of our learning as Christians. God APPOINTED them. No man can get in the way of what GOD wants. So, Trump is not on my conscience if he doesn't win because I didn't vote for him.

And for those "Christians" who want to sling mud at me and call me "self righteous" in a derogatory manner just because I choose not to vote for their candidate, I have one question: When Jesus comes back, what excuse are you going to have for supporting evil and slamming those who choose to "wear their religion on their sleeves"? I would suggest looking at what YOU are turning into.

My date with Jesus today...

Today, after I spent the morning praising Jesus for where I've been, where I am and where I'm going, I decided to go out on a date with Jesus today. Besides, I was hungry.

I asked Jesus where I should go and I quickly decided that I wanted Mexican food. El Chico popped into my head.

I had to go and order me some new uniform shirts, so after I got dressed I made the drive to the Uniform store on Richmond Road. I passed by the Chipotle Mexican Grill on the way, but dismissed it because I felt like Jesus wanted to bless me with El Chico today.

I asked Him, "Do you think I should go to the shelter and see if someone wants to come with me?" He said, "No, this is for you."

I argued, "I want to be a blessing to someone today."

He said, "You will. In my way. In MY time."

So, I went to El Chico and determined that I would enjoy myself in spite of the guilt.

I looked over the menu. It listed Uno through Siete on the Lunch page. Then, it had a Mucho Platter. After reading what the Mucho Platter was and considering the price, I told the waiter, "I would like a Numero Ocho. Le Mucho Platter." He grinned. As he was walking away, I asked him if he had any appetizers besides the chips and salsa he had already brought me. I thought aloud that poppers or something like it sounded great. He suggested the Chicken Jalapeno Poppers. I accepted. He suggested that he would hold the main course while I waited on the Poppers, and I told him not to bother. I would take them all together.

He kept my tea filled (and I drank a lot. That salsa was hot!). Then he brought my meal.

The waiter was witty, charming, and made you feel like you were important, even though he had several other tables he was paying as much attention to. I was more impressed with the service than the food, even though I ate every bite.

I smiled the whole time, thanking Jesus for the time to enjoy the meal, and the ability to afford it. But, I still didn't feel like I was blessing anyone. I felt a gentle nudge in my spirit that said, "Can't you just be blessed?"

I sighed and said, "I AM blessed, even without this. I don't feel half as blessed as I do when I am being used to bless others, though! You have given me so much already!"

I left El Chico after paying my ticket and giving the waiter a generous tip, and Jesus said, "You still need some pants to wear to work." So, I went to Buy & Save on State Line Avenue, and looked around. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I don't believe I am ever anywhere I am not supposed to be. So, I bought a hat and some really cheap earrings I liked. (Felt good just to be able to buy something for myself for a change...)

I took the opportunity to go to the cigarette store next door where I used to do all my cigarette business. I walked in and told the cashier (whom I'd been getting to know over time) "Hi! I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still alive. I'm still here, but I quit smoking." She said, "Are you serious?" I smiled bigger and said, "3 weeks smoke free!" "WOW!"

I left there and went to KMart, looking for pants that I couldn't find there. I found some I liked and went to the only register that was open and waited in line.

And waited.

And waited.

The lady at the checkout was waiting on a price check. Finally, the cash register next to her opened up and everyone moved over there. I figured I'd just stay where I was. Maybe the line would move sooner.

I waited.

And waited. Finally, I decided to move, also.

A lady in the line who was behind me before offered to let me have my place in front of her back. I thanked her. When I got to cashier, she asked me for my phone number. I told her. She said, "Wait, you don't have a rewards card? Why don't you get one, it's free!"

"Oh, I don't come here enough."

The cashier asked the lady behind me if she had a rewards card. She said she did. She asked for HER phone number, then started ringing my stuff up. I laughed and asked, "Are you giving HER my reward?" She said, "Sure. Why not?" I grinned at the lady behind me and said, "I'm so glad I could be a blessing to someone today!"

The lady said, "And just think, If I hadn't let you in front of me, I would have missed it!"

WOW. That'll preach!

I told them of my date with Jesus today and how I've enjoyed myself. This was the icing on the cake.

No, it wasn't a big blessing, but it felt big because of who it came from.

I love going out on dates with the Master of the Universe!