Thank You Lord, For Your Blessings On Me!

Thanksgiving is coming soon. This year, I fore-went the usual "post something you are thankful for each day until Thanksgiving" tradition.

But, today, I'd like to Thank Jesus for, once again, helping me find a way when there didn't seem a way.

Thank You, Jesus, for my new position financially.

Thank You, Jesus, for old friends, new friends, the opportunity to make friends, and all the other people you put into my life to pray for!

Thank You, Jesus, for my family, who holds me up and gives me a compass when I can't seem to get it together.

Thank You, Jesus, for my health -- mentally and physically.

Most of all, Jesus, Thank YOU for my salvation and my hope!

Without YOU I am NOTHING! Without YOU I am weak. Without YOU I have nothing to look forward to, no hope, no reason to exist.

When I am at my lowest, I find myself on my knees, praising YOU -- because I am still alive. I still get to wake up tomorrow. Therefore, I know, there is a REASON I am still here, and that YOU won't let me drown, and it gives me the strength to keep climbing -- no matter how steep the climb.

So, today is about YOU, dear sweet Jesus!

THANK YOU!

Bright Future

I think I've found my niche'.

I recently applied to be an Uber Driver. I didn't think it would amount to anything more than just "pocket money"; but, the more I look into it and study it, the more potential I see in actually making a good living at it!

I can travel anywhere in my state to work. It will be the thing that helps me accomplish my dreams! I will be able to visit every town in Texas, see the homeless shelters, visit the churches, make new friends, and even sell my Avon while I am at it! And, all the while, I will be getting paid!

The best thing about it is that I can sleep late, work late, work as little or as much as I want, take time off to spend with family and friends (I can now accept all those invitations to gatherings I've been seeing!

I can get involved. I can embrace. I can feel GOOD doing it!

And, I can pay off my debts.

I can GIVE!

THAT, more than anything, is what I will like about it!

I am SO looking forward to this!

If this works out, then getting fired from my job at the Pitt Grill was the BEST thing that ever happened to me!

Every Step of the Way

Me and Donald Trump have SO MUCH IN COMMON!

I can't count the number of times I've been told something was impossible.

"Your life is over."
"President of what?"
"You probably aren't hire-able anywhere"
"You don't have the skills"
"You need to find a good man to take care of you or you won't survive".
"You will never amount to anything"
"You are nothing but red-neck trash"
"You are so ungrateful"
"You don't have what it takes"
"You are ALWAYS going to be alone"
"Nobody likes you."
"You stink"
"You are too slow"
"You aren't smart enough"
"You have a bad reputation"
"That will NEVER happen"
"You are ugly."
"You are too rude."
"You are too uncouth"
"You are too greedy."
"You are too selfish."

If I had listened to all that, I would have never done half the things I've done in my life. I would have never had half of the experiences I've had, and I would have NO HOPE right now.

I will NOT lay down and give up. I will fight until the day I die.

And, I WILL survive until God sees fit to stop me.

But...dang...sometimes I get SO tired of working to prove everyone WRONG!

So many times I've heard it...

"You never listen to anyone!" (Thank GOD!)

and then,

"How did YOU ever get where you are?"

I'll tell you how:

I believed in God when I couldn't believe in myself.
I fought every step of the way to get here.

I am not rich. I may be homeless in a month or two -- again. I am getting old. I am not strong. I don't have lots of talent. I am not famous.

But, I am ME. And, I am alive. I am not hungry. I am not cold. I am not sickly. I am not a weakling. I wake up every morning to fight through another day...to say I did SOMETHING productive, no matter how small.

To start over, if I need to.

Success is not how much money you make or what you own or how well you are known. Success is the ability to survive and still love with all you have, even in the face of hate and resistance.

When God Has Another Plan...

Hello, World!

Yes, the election has me depressed -- I'm sure like so many others who feel disenfranchised. But, I'm still praying. God is in control, no matter who wins...and I don't always have to like God's plan. I just need to accept that there is a good reason for it!

I lost my beloved Pitt Grill job on the day after my birthday. If I was looking for a reason to transform myself, well, one jumped in my lap. LOL. I sure didn't think I'd be looking for a new job so soon.

I love selling Avon, but sales are slow and it isn't enough for me to do it as a sole source of income. So, I had to apply for SNAP benefits and Unemployment. I think I was supposed to request payment yesterday, but failed to. I have to wait until tomorrow before I can do so.

I also think I may have one more small paycheck coming on Monday.

Me, being the resourceful enterpriser that I am, though, I started looking for other ways to make a little money on the side.

I signed up to drive for Uber. I wanted to deliver for Uber Eats, but they don't have anything going on in my neck of the woods. I am currently waiting on my background check to go through (the last step toward acceptance into the program). I also applied for a delivery job with another company -- WAITr. I was accepted today, and will try to start experimenting with the app tomorrow.

After I clean out my car. LOL

Hopefully my background check will have gone through by then, too.

I am also looking for other opportunities to make money, both on and off-line. Stay tuned for updates about that!

In my personal life, I've decided that life is what it is. No sense trying to force your way through anything, because everything works on God's time table. So, now I'm just drifting ... and smelling the roses as I go.

Have a blessed day!

Social Awakening

This country is full of idiots. It is OFFICIAL. I really thought we were better than this.

It's okay. My focus is now in concrete for the next 4 years.

Small business is ruined now. Economy is ruined. Freedom is gone. Oppression is eminent. Jobs will decline. Poverty will grow.

Enjoy your communist take-over of America.

YOU let it happen.

For those of you who voted Democrat because you thought you were going to get another stimulus check for doing so...

Good luck with that. I HIGHLY doubt you will ever see it. You would have been better off voting for Trump. At least he would have TRIED to get you one.

Now all the rioting will stop, but the persecution will grow. People will be attacked simply for who they are and what they believe and the government will not help you.

Oh...when you all get tired of the status quo that is eminent, remember:

FREEDOM IS NOT FREE.

Daniel 8:25
“And through his policy also he shall cause craft to prosper in his hand; and he shall magnify himself in his heart, and by peace shall destroy many: he shall also stand up against the Prince of princes; but he shall be broken without hand.”

Moving on...

I am in the process of "transforming" myself into something better. I got a new hair cut, started wearing a little make-up, smiling more, engaging in more conversation, going out more, and a myriad of other things that make me different than I was two weeks ago.

I am in no way doing this because I am trying to find someone to be a companion to. I am, however, opening myself up more to finding friends. If I should ever find myself involved in a relationship, it is going to be with someone who I am best friends with, first.

And, I am not trying to be something I am not. I am -- more -- trying to become what I should already be. I was talking to a friend today who is trying to encourage me to go out and find someone. I have another friend who is trying to play matchmaker with me.

I am not interested. I really like my life.

A customer asked me tonight if I was aiming to catch a man with my new "do". I told him, "not at all." He told me if I didn't watch it, I would do it anyway. (He's happily married, so it was a "safe" conversation).

If there's one thing I've learned it's that suffering from heartbreak and suffering from loneliness are two different things.

If I go and get someone else because I'm suffering from heartbreak that's revenge. If I go and get someone because I'm suffering from loneliness that's desperation.

I'm not doing either. Either way it's not fair to the person I'm doing it with.

If I am seeking a relationship it's going to be one that is genuine and real. I don't want to give someone left-overs of who I am . I want to give someone special everything I am.

At least this way, I can honestly say that the man who passes me up has passed up something real.

And, if I never find what it is I am looking for I'll be just as happy. I am all I need to be for me. And, God is everything else.

Sometimes I Cry

Sometimes I mess up in my life. When I do, I find out that I have a choice to make - once it is all said and done.

I can wallow in my hurt, refuse to admit I had done wrong; grab hold of anything that defends my actions and keep trying to beat my head against a brick wall.

Or, I can focus on something else that is just as destructive to my state of being, try to do the same thing in a new setting and hope for different results. Go insane...

OR, I can give it to God. Turn back to where I know I should be and go from there. I can let HIM change the situation, remove me from the valley, become who I should be in spite of the pain -- until the pain is completely gone.

But, still, there are tears of regret and longing.

It is these times I find myself on my knees trying to make sense of it all; until I realize that I don't have to.

If God brought me to it, He will walk me through it. I realize, at this point, that the reason I am in the state of mind that I am in is because I should have not tried to take the lead. I should not have ventured off the path He set me on. I should not have tried to grab hold to what God had already put behind me.

Where ever He leads, I should follow. At least this way, I am safe from the potholes of life as He walks me around them.

I still need to heal from the consequences of my latest stupidity. But, I am allowing God to strengthen me for the journey ahead.

I am still alive. That is something. That means that God isn't through with me yet.

Thank God!

This song is totally me!

Overcomer

This post was originally written on October 19, 2015. Five years ago. Still true today for me, so I thought I'd share.

Broken? No. I never considered myself broken. I shook my fist a lot at a world that was unfair and deceptive. But, something in me just kept saying that life is what you make it. And, it's gotta start somewhere. The buck stops here. And, so forth.

I made the Bible my guidebook, even when I wasn't following Jesus the way I should have been. I trusted that there was a God and that He knew better than I did...or even my parents did. I determined to have faith, even when I didn't believe.

I saw things with the eyes of someone of scrutiny. I kept my back to the wall, and never went into a crowded place without knowing where the door was. And, I watched. I treaded the waters lightly.

Every now and then I would jump in head first, determined to sink or swim. Sometimes I thought I would drown...other times, I found a rock to stand on. All the time, I overcame the current.

At first, I was angry. My anger started turning to bitterness. Then, I realized that the sunrise on every new day was majestic -- and that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. I had a choice to make.

Life is what it is. Sometimes you sink, sometimes you swim. But, sometimes, if you just float, you can take the time to enjoy the scenery, breathe easier, smell the fresh air.

I chose to be grateful in spite of not having all I want. I chose to accept what I was given, rather than covet what would never be mine. I chose to love, in spite of the pain; to laugh, in spite of the tears. to get up and move forward, rather than to lay there and move nowhere; to earn, rather than to demand; to show love, rather than indifference; to forgive, rather than to expect, and to experience, rather than to fear.

I look in the mirror today and I don't see a survivor, The fact that I am still there in the mirror looking back at myself tells me that the struggle was worth it, and I am an OVERCOMER.

Ten Things I've Learned in My 51st Year of Life 2020

Every year I post the ten top things I learned sometime during my birth month. My birthday is October 30. I will be 52 years old. (Yes, I am not ashamed to post it, because everyone who knows me knows I'm real). This year is no different.

Here goes:

10. God is in control of everything. I already knew this, but this year I felt it BIG TIME...I did a lot of arguing and begging this year with God.

9. Letting go is the most unselfish thing you can do.

8. True friendships don't thrive on Facebook. True friendship can only be cultivated face to face.

7. When you make a wrong turn and the road leads you to an impasse, it's best to go back where you started in order to figure out where you went wrong, and go a different direction.

6. Your boundaries are what builds respect from others.

5. Boundaries are not to protect you from others, but to protect you from yourself.

4. The fire of true love never completely dies. It might fade into the background over time, but is easily rekindled under the right circumstances.

3. Sometimes the truth isn't enough.

2. You can't worry about what other people will feel about your decision to be happy. If they truly love you, then they will support your decision, even if it takes you away from them. Making everyone else happy doesn't do anything for your own self respect and ends in wishful thinking.

1. God is stronger than I am.

Not My Way

Today, I stood up. I dusted myself off. I determined that no matter the pain, I was not going to settle for playing second fiddle to what I deserve.

I may not get what I want by doing this, but at least I know where I stand. And, if I can't have what I want, then it only means that God has other plans for me -- even if they are not the plans I want Him to have for me. I know God knows what's best for me. I know that His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts, and I am an imperfect woman who serves a perfect God.

I also know that His plans are to prosper me and not harm me, to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). Even if it isn't what I want right now.

I know that He counts my tears. He covers my shame. And, best of all, He fights my battles for me.

I also know that He answers prayers.

So, I stood up and stepped forward, putting one foot in front of the other and determined not to look back. I only want what is in front of me from now on.

I want what is with-in my reach.

And, just like what I left behind me, I want it RIGHT.

If what I come to from here on out does not fit my definition of what is right for me, I will put one foot in front of the other and keep moving on.

Maybe some day "right" will finally run catch up with me, or I will find it on my way. Until then, I will keep climbing.

Someone once told me that I always rise to the top no matter what I do. I am not just a bubble in the soda...No. I am the whipped cream on top. And, I aim to stay that way.

No one is going to drag my spirit down anymore.

I choose to be grateful, loveable, joyful, peaceful, and yes, still hopeful.