Not My Way

Today, I stood up. I dusted myself off. I determined that no matter the pain, I was not going to settle for playing second fiddle to what I deserve.

I may not get what I want by doing this, but at least I know where I stand. And, if I can't have what I want, then it only means that God has other plans for me -- even if they are not the plans I want Him to have for me. I know God knows what's best for me. I know that His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts, and I am an imperfect woman who serves a perfect God.

I also know that His plans are to prosper me and not harm me, to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). Even if it isn't what I want right now.

I know that He counts my tears. He covers my shame. And, best of all, He fights my battles for me.

I also know that He answers prayers.

So, I stood up and stepped forward, putting one foot in front of the other and determined not to look back. I only want what is in front of me from now on.

I want what is with-in my reach.

And, just like what I left behind me, I want it RIGHT.

If what I come to from here on out does not fit my definition of what is right for me, I will put one foot in front of the other and keep moving on.

Maybe some day "right" will finally run catch up with me, or I will find it on my way. Until then, I will keep climbing.

Someone once told me that I always rise to the top no matter what I do. I am not just a bubble in the soda...No. I am the whipped cream on top. And, I aim to stay that way.

No one is going to drag my spirit down anymore.

I choose to be grateful, loveable, joyful, peaceful, and yes, still hopeful.