Slavery to Debts

I am in a big bind. I owe over 1200 for the first of the month bills and I only have about $400 of it. On top of that, my lease is up. I have to sign a new lease by the end of next month. I can't be behind on rent!

WHAT...AM...I...GOING...TO...DO?

This waiting for my permanent tags sucks.

I have to do something.

I have thought about hocking some stuff...but what I have wouldn't bring me even a quarter of what I need at the pawn shop. I travel light.

My computers are tied up in loan collateral, anyway.

Sigh...

I'll be working from wake up to lay down from now on until all of the first of the month's bills are paid.

Have a blessed day.

CashApp me: $ShondaPonder
Venmo: @ponderaa1

Rocking it in Rockwall

Hello, World!

It is after midnight and I am in Rockwall Texas right now. I've never eaten at Carl's Jr before. So I thought I would try it before I go home. I'm eating a guacamole bacon Angus burger.

I was afraid to stay and Texarkana today because I really needed to make something and I got too late of a start to really make a difference and I knew that after 10:00 everything was going to die because that's just how Texarkana is. So I drove to Rockwall and I have had the busiest night on Uber Eats that I've had in a while.

But after midnight, it, too, stopped. But at least I stayed busy until then.

I didn't have half bad a day and if it wasn't for the fact that I had to drive 2 hours to get here I would do it more often.

I was going to go all the way to dallas, but Uber pinged when I got here and didn't quit, so I didn't see the need to keep driving that far.

Carl's Jr ain't half bad. It's actually pretty good. Too bad we don't have one in Texarkana.

I figured it'll be too late for me to really play with my air fryer when I get home. So I'll just have to save that for another day when I have more time. But I'm still looking forward to it

Because I got started so late I didn't make as much as I want to. Early bird gets the worm you know how that works. But I didn't do bad.

Have a blessed night!

Air Fryer

Hello, World!

I have been using my phone to update you...but there is just something lost in the experience of writing when you don't actually type the blog. I like to "talk" on my phone, then go back and edit. LOL

My best friend, "Shonda Nonyoo" (as she goes by on Facebook), bought me an Air Fryer. I can't wait to try it out! She even got me a cook book to go with it! Happy early Birthday to me! WooHOO!

I have chicken thawing out right now...so I get to cook when I get home.

I'm thinking of going to work in Dallas tonight...but it's a long drive. Not sure I want to make the trip this late in the day. I wouldn't be back until early in the morning.

It might not be a bad thing, though. I am about $600 down from what I need for my bills. I should have taken Regional Finance up on their offer, but I have no way to show proof of income easily.

I sold all my stock just to get the amount I have. It's like I am constantly starting over, and there is nothing I can do until I get my permanent tags.

I baked some chicken last night and some potatoes and had a great dinner when I came home. I didn't want to wake up this morning and I find it hard to get started. But, I am fighting through it. I'll get out of the house eventually...within the next 30 minutes (it is 3:13 PM right now). I will then work my full eight hours.

At least, I won't be home until then. Not sure how much twiddling of thumbs I'll do. I may just drive to Dallas anyway.

Have a blessed day!

cheering myself up

Hello, World!

I've been doing a lot of soul searching since I got off facebook. I have been so stressed that my ambition has faltered. When I get up I get up to go to work just to make enough. And it's not enough. It's never enough. But I come home knowing I didn't do enough. And it spirals me down into a deeper depression.

I have been trying to stay the course. I've been listening to the Word of God. I've been praying. I've been asking the questions. And I've been looking at myself to see what needs to be fixed.

The Bible teaches me that I should live one day at a time. That I should live it with all I have. That I should endure until the end. That I should be contented to have what I need when I need it. As, that is what God gives me.

Today I decided to cheer myself up by going to Big Jake's barbecue. While I was there a young lady came and told me about how buff city was fixing to open up this weekend and gave me a sample of their soap asking me to come by on their day of grand opening. I thought it was awesome!

I went and got my tires aired up. Then I went and bought dog food because I needed it and since I was out of toothpaste I went ahead and bought some of that as well. I was tempted to buy more than what I needed but I decided I better put back some of it. I did buy some barbecue and chicken seasoning. I forgot to buy vegetable oil but I guess I don't need it. All for my chicken. And now I'm prepared to work the rest of the day!

Have a blessed day, and I will see you guys tonight when I get home!

Thank You, Jesus, for this awesome meal. Thank You for this day, and for sticking with me even when I don't feel like being stuck with. Teach me Lord. And help me live every moment for You!

Low Tire Blues

Hello, World!

I have one more bill to pay at the end of the month, and I have the money for it in my bank account. So everything I make from here on out goes towards my rent and first of the month bills.

I decided to stop at Tacos 4 Life because their tacos are delicious, I'm hungry, and it's for a good cause. Every meal you buy feeds another needy family.

I'm looking forward to seeing what I can make today.

At the end of the day, I had to cut it short because my tire lost air pressure around 10:30 p.m. I was planning on going to the food distribution place tomorrow. But it looks like I'm going to be dealing with a tire instead.

Have a blessed night!

Financial Blues

Good Monday, World!

I am in Numbers 29 in the Bible currently. I tried to listen to it everyday as I am getting ready for work, following Joshua 1:8 instruction.

 I woke up at noon today. Tomorrow I have to go to the produce place. And I will have to do that early in the morning, so I'm not going to get much sleep.

Right now I'm eating leftover chicken and dressing from last night. It is actually pretty good. This evening I may open some canned green beans to go with it.

I have about five boxes of mangoes that are going bad. I'm going to have to take them out to the garbage in the next day or so. I'll probably do that tomorrow.

I am waiting on my money to get into my bank account so I can pay some bills that were due yesterday. They're going to start calling me if I don't. My good credit is going down the drain. And I have no idea how I'm going to pay the first of the month's bills.

I hate to ask. But if anyone wants to help me, my cash app is $ShondaPonder and my venmo is @ponderaa1 .

My e-trade account is down by $20. At least I'm not losing as much as I was losing the other day. Some of that came back after I reinvested in something else.

Well I'm going to finish eating my breakfast and get ready to go to work.

Have a blessed day!

Scared

Hello, World!

I was sitting here going over my finances and I am behind on some bills for the first time in 5 years. It makes me feel really angry. If things had been different, and I had the support of the family that should have, I would not be facing the loss that I have incurred. Everything I have built in the last 10 years seems to be dwindling out of control. I am genuinely frightened.

I know that I could turn all this around if I had the capacity to work Uber and Lyft the way I did. But it looks as if it's going to be another month before I'm going to get my permanent tags. By then I don't know what else I'm going to be behind on. I don't even know if I'll have a business. And getting another job is not going to solve the issue because there is no job that is going to pay me what I get paid even doing the little bit that I can.

Not to mention, I just don't have the time.

However, I know that God is in control. I know that everything is going to work out according to His will. And I know that I just need to trust Him throughout it all.

I am allergic, literally, to stress. I think that is why I am feeling as tired as I have been feeling lately. It isn't like I've been working any more than usual. The only thing that is stressing me is that I'm just not making enough to cover all my bills right now. And I don't want to work more than 8 hours a day because that would incapacitate me. And I don't want to ask anyone else for help. I am tired of asking for help. I shouldn't have to.

I love my family. But I am very hurt right now that they would allow me to fall and not even try to help me. It isn't like I have never paid them back for every penny they have ever given me. It isn't like I haven't thanked them enough when they did. It isn't like I'm wasting everything I make on drugs and partying. I never have time to do any of those things. And now, I just think it's best that I stay away from them until I get back on my feet with all the stress behind me. After all, if they had been there for me to begin with, I wouldn't have to work as hard to get back on my feet.

Things happen. Emergencies happen. It isn't like I planned any of this. It isn't like I put myself in this situation on purpose. This could have happened to anyone. And I am not blaming them for my situation, but it was not my fault that I encountered this situation. To blame me for my problem right now is like saying well, you shouldn't have become sick. Or, you shouldn't have been at the grocery store when the robbery happened. Things just happen.

If I was dying in the hospital bed, I wonder if my family would even care. They certainly don't care about the quality of life that I have right now. And they don't realize how much I stand to lose because they refuse to help me when they have the opportunity.

You can believe that I will never ask them for help of any kind ever again. I will never put myself in the position to get hurt by them again. I have had enough grief and stress. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that I have a better Plan B, C, D and a little extra in the future.

A Day in the Life of a Courier

Hello, world!

I turned on the Heat this morning. I was actually feeling cold. I am not getting sick, it was actually really cool in my apartment.

At least I didn't think I was getting sick. But I went to bed early and I slept for a full 8 hours. And I didn't want to. I was trying to stay up until after noon like I did yesterday, instead I ended up waking up at 11:00 a.m.

So here is round two. I'm in my car now, getting ready to go to work.

I am starting to compare what just happened about my sleep to withdrawals. I have not touched Facebook. The last comment I made on Facebook was to my aunt about a prayer she had asked for. And then I shut it off. I remembered I wasn't supposed to be on Facebook.

Who knew withdrawing from Facebook would have physical implications?

It is now 12:24 p.m. I am sitting outside of Walmart waiting to be loaded with groceries to deliver. The order is going to pay me $17. It's worth it to sit here and wait for an hour.

While I am waiting I am watching ads and updating my gaming apps. I might as well make a few pennies while I'm sitting here. I call it picking up techno-cans. For the youngsters out there, when we didn't have money we would pick up aluminum cans on the side of the road. It was hard work. It only paid pennies but it was better than nothing. Playing games for money is about the same thing. Basically what I'm doing is watching ads and getting paid a few pennies every time I do. And, it's a lot easier than picking up aluminum cans. It takes about the same amount of time too.

It is now 12:37. I have been sitting here since noon waiting on my car to be loaded. If I wait an hour I will cancel the order. It will be time to move on to another delivery before I start losing more money.

While I am sitting here waiting, I am listening to K-Love on the radio. It is positive encouraging uplifting contemporary Christian music. I need to keep positivity flowing in my life.

Also, I have logged all of my trips from Friday onto the QuickBooks app. It keeps up with all of my finances so I can see how much I am actually making in profits. It also helps me at the end of the year when it's time to do taxes. Last year I actually got $300 back. I talked to another Uber driver who didn't log his trips or do any paperwork at all, and he ended up owing over $5,000. I don't think I could afford that. Needless to say, he got frustrated and quit.

When you work for yourself and not somebody else it's not all about making money. You have to do the paperwork involved. You have to pay your taxes. You have to file your deductions. It's just like any other business. If you don't do the paperwork involved you will owe a whole lot more than you should.

When I first started doing this a lady tried to talk me out of it telling me how much taxes I'm supposed to pay. I told her it's no more than any other taxes you have to pay. And as long as you do the paperwork it isn't. I was right.

While I am sitting and waiting for my car to get loaded, it is turned off. I am not even running the air conditioner and it's 100° outside. I'm sure it's even hotter than that in this car as I wait. The heat is beating me up. If I get too hot I'll just turn the car on for a few minutes. All of my windows are rolled down. Gas is too expensive to waste running your car for an hour waiting to be loaded.

I finally canceled the order at 12:50 p.m. I got paid $2.50 for the wait. That was generous of Walmart. And it's better than nothing. I just wasted an hour for $2.50 sitting in the hot sun. It is frustrating.

But, now I can turn on the Uber eats app and maybe get a ping while I'm waiting for another Walmart order to show up on my screen. I also have the GrubHub and the ASAP app on. Whichever pings first I'll take and turn the others off.

Before I left the house today, I threw some chicken into the Crock-Pot. It's a lot easier than cooking when I get home, and I know I'm going to be hungry. I have also prepared enough tea to last me for the next 5 days. So I don't have to do that anymore either for a few days.

I just accepted a delivery at 1:15 p.m. that is going to pay me $31.52. It is 72 items on one delivery and 14 items on another. It is well worth the $31. I will wait for it. Pick up time is at 1:45.

I will write the order down in my notebook so that I can log it into my Quickbooks when I start work tomorrow. They will have until 2:15 to get me loaded, and after that I will cancel and move on to the next delivery if I am not yet loaded and on my way to drop off.

A lot of this job is twiddling my thumbs and waiting. But the jobs that I actually get to get done more than make up for the time I waste waiting. I probably shouldn't have accepted this order because the status is that it is getting ready and it is not ready already. Unfortunately the app does not tell me until after I accept the order whether or not it is getting ready or it is already ready.

As soon as I got to the Walmart it was 1:25. I got a ping from the waiter app that I forgot to turn off to go pick up an order it On the Border that is going to pay me $6.26. I accepted it. It's a good way to use my time while I'm waiting on the other order to get ready.

When I got to On the Border, I realized that I forgot to accept the order in the app and it moved on to another driver. So I lost my chance at delivering that order. And wasted my gas getting to On the Border. It happens sometimes if I'm not paying attention. So I'll return back to Walmart for the other order. That one is already accepted. I still have time.

Finally, at 2:07 p.m. I Got Loaded for my $31 delivery. I finished the delivery and went back to my usual waiting spot at the Exxon on New Boston Road at 3:00 p.m.. I've been working for 3 hours now and made $31. Hopefully things will get better. But I'm not complaining because it's still over $10 an hour.

At 3:05 I arrived at On the Border for a delivery from ASAP that's going to pay me $6.13. I turned off the other apps until I finish this one. Maybe I'll get another one before I settle somewhere again.

One of the things I like about food orders is that the wait time is a lot shorter and the experience is a lot cooler in the heat.

Before I got back to the Exxon I got another order from GrubHub going back to On the Border to pick up an order. I took it as well. This one pays $6.39.

When I got to On the Border there was a guy standing out in front of me with a white T-shirt on. The back of his shirt said "Follow me on YouTube." So I asked him, "It would be easy to follow you if I know who you were! Who do I follow on YouTube?" He pointed at his car. It said "Doordash around the USA."

He told me he has been to over 40 States already. I told him it sounded very interesting. I told him that when I retire I planned on doing something similar. I also let him know that I had my own blog. LOL. 

Then I took my order to the drop location. It started raining and the wind started gusting, so I figure I won't be doing any more spark deliveries today.

When I got back to the Exxon I got another order for $5.85 from GrubHub. On my way I got a severe weather warning on the radio for Texarkana. I am not the United States Postal Service, but I will work until I can't.

My next order was Uber Eats for 9 dollars. I talked to a couple of Doordashers who we're curious about how Uber Eats worked and if it was worth it. I told them it was just as worth it as any of the other apps. And,  I told On the Border they should put me on the payroll. This was the third order today that I have picked up from three different apps. LOL

I went back to the Exxon to twiddle my thumbs for a while. I have the Uber, ASAP, and GrubHub apps turned on. Waiting for a ping. It is 5:21 p.m. and I have made $58.80 today so far. That's not bad. It's a little over $10 an hour. But it's easy money.

I still miss my Uber passenger app. I can't drive until I get my permanent tags on this vehicle. But when I can I will make more than I am making now. Until then I have to do what I have to do. And, I do it without complaining because two years ago I was working as a cook at a local Diner in New Boston Texas. I was only making $215 a week. What I made today already was more than I would have made working 8 hours there.

By 6:22 I was in the midst of a delivery that was going to pay me $16 which would bring my total up to $87.12. It was not a bad day at all so far. In spite of the rain and not being able to do Walmart deliveries because of it.

I don't like delivering groceries in the rain because it's too easy to slip with heavy items. Sometimes I have to walk through yards and the grass gets Slippery When Wet. Not to mention the holes seem to be bigger and I've already twisted my foot once and don't want a repeat. So whenever it rains I focus on all the other apps.

Normally, if it's raining I will focus on just doing passenger rides. However I'm not doing passenger rides until I can get my permanent tags on this vehicle. My paper tags are good until October 22nd so maybe by then I will be up and running again. That is, if I can make enough money to pay my car payment until then, in spite of not being able to drive Uber and Lyft.

While I was sitting at Sonic waiting on my order for delivery, a homeless guy came and asked me for some money for some food. I gave him a bag of my Chex Mix that I got from the Food Distribution Center and keep in my car to snack on. It might not have been what he was wanting really, but it is what he asked for.

When I went to Cracker Barrel to pick up an order before the one at Sonic, I saw that the restaurant they are building beside Cracker Barrel is almost complete. They are advertising for employees. It will be great to have a Panda Express here in Texarkana finally! I can't wait until it opens!

By 8:00 I had made $97. It was close enough to 100 and I had worked my 8 hours. I decided to head home and work in the call center for the rest of the night.

I was looking forward to seeing my baby dogs, and eating some of that chicken that I plan to fix stove top stuffing with, using the juices off of it.

I will try to stay up as late as I can. My hours have got to change so that I'm waking up in the mornings again. I have no idea how to do that. I know I can't use an alarm clock and wake up early, because either I will sleep through the alarm clock or whenever I do get up I'll be so tired I can't drive. I fear driving while I am tired for good reason. It is not safe for me or for anyone else on the road.

And this is my day.

And, as usual something went wrong. As soon as I got home and check the chicken, I realized I had forgotten to plug the Crock-Pot in this morning. Sigh. Now I will have to wait at least 4 hours for the chicken to get done.

Have a blessed day!

Fruit

I recently got some produce from the Food Distribution Center. A lot of it was a bunch of strawberries blackberries mangoes fruit.

I have come to the conclusion that eating fruit is not a bad thing to do when you're hungry. I have found myself snacking on fruit a lot lately. And I never seem to get tired of it.

Letting God Lead Me

When I first started working for the apps as a self-employed Courier and taxi driver, I was desperate to make money to pay my bills. However, I recognized that no matter what I did, my success or failure will depend on the will of the Lord.

I got on my knees and I asked him for guidance. I promised him that if he brought me out of the current situation that I was in financially, I would do whatever I could to make sure that he got the glory for all of it.

God did not fail me. I am content to let him lead. I'm not asking for a whole lot just enough to keep me from worrying about the future.

One of the things I have learned is that the more money I make, the more it needs to be managed. And, the more effort I make to manage it costs me more. For example, I had to invest in QuickBooks on a monthly basis. I have to make sure that my car is well maintained on a monthly basis. I had to invest in a better working phone than the one I had. I had to buy a new computer. And overtime there were other smaller expenses that accumulated.

It's nice to be able to make more money than I have ever made before, I just wish that I could get to keep all of the money that I make.

A lot of people will tell me that I should go and find a better job or another job that doesn't cost so much, but the truth is no matter what job I get the more money I have the more money I'm going to have to spend. That's life. And the only reason you make money is so you can spend it.

God let me enjoy life at a whole new level though. I was eating in places I've never eaten before, traveling to places I've never been, meeting people I've never met, and giving people advice on a regular basis from what I've learned. I found that I enjoyed this new life that I started Living.

So if I have to weigh it between the security of having a 40 hour a week work week working for someone else and doing what I love to do on a daily basis that I'm doing right now, I choose the way things are right now. At least I enjoy my life. I couldn't do that if I were committed to someone else and making them money trying to survive myself.

Getting Paid to play on your phone

As a courier that uses apps to make money, sometimes I find myself twiddling my thumbs as I wait for ping, or as I wait for an order to be ready for delivery.

I'm one of those people who hate twiddling my thumbs. I believe in being productive with ALL my time. So, sometimes I play games to keep my mind off the wait.

Then, I saw this ad that said I could make money playing games on my phone. So, I started researching that.

I saw an ad about playing Atlas Earth.

On this app, you buy virtual real estate. You get paid rent for the parcels you buy and you can buy more and make more rent over time. The more you own, the higher your social status on the game. The person with the most parcels in the U.S. is the President. The person with the most parcels in Texas is the Governor of Texas, etc.

The rent you earn can be exchanged for real world dollars.

You pay rent on your travels by watching ads. The advertisers pay the app for posting their ads on the app for you to watch. The app shares that revenue with YOU. That's how it works.

If you are interested, you can get on Google Play and download the Atlas Earth app. It's fun.

Gaming apps are the same way. You get paid to play games, look at ads, and complete offers. And, no, you aren't going to make a million bucks, but something is always better than nothing at all.

Mean People

Leviticus Chapter 19

15 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD.
17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.
18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Today, I was scrolling through Facebook and found a post that made me laugh. It was a post that made a point about some other person's actions. The comments made fun of this person and talked down about them and this something they did. The comments were all adding fuel to the fire as they continued to degrade this person. I started to add my own comment in jest...but I stopped myself.

I asked myself, "Is this something God would approve of? The old me would have shrugged that "small still voice" to the back of my mind and typed it anyway. But, I didn't.

This morning I listened to the King James Bible online on Youtube. I am currently in Leviticus. I listen a little every morning as I get ready for my day, because Joshua 1:8 says I should.

Aside from being a good person and having success, listening and studying the Bible teaches you the laws of God so you can write them on your heart and learn to act accordingly. It etches it's laws into your conscience - so that still small voice can stop you before you type something hurtful or degrading about someone else, no matter how bad of a person that person is in your eyes. It's not your eyes that you should see that person in. It is God's.

Today, it stopped me from doing what I never thought twice about, until today. And, I listened and acted accordingly to that still small voice.

I am not the same person I was. I never saw myself as being a mean person, and I would have rationalized it as "this person will never see this, so why not go ahead and say it...", but what if he did?

God said to my heart, "Wrong is wrong. I told you what and what not to do."

Lord, please forgive me for even thinking about it. And thank You for stopping me and making me into a better person every day. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Financial Fitness as a Christian

Hello, World!

Did you know that Jesus talked more about money management than any other subject? I am currently listening to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope about Financial Fitness - 2022.

I am not rich. Not even close. As a matter of fact, right now, I'm living day to day, dollar to dollar...trying to keep up with my bills. But, last year, I was doing really well. I actually had enough money to pay all my bills in the month ahead, due to saving and investing.

Emergencies happen. That's what happened to me.

And, right now, I am struggling to get caught back up.

In all this, I have realized that God is in control. God will have His way no matter what you do, but that does not mean that you sit back and do nothing to help yourself.

God gives you all you have. He expects you to use it how HE sees fit. If you don't, He will take the responsibility and all that comes with it away, until you can prove that you are trustworthy toward His will.

In order to be able to prove you can be trusted, God never takes it ALL away. He leaves you just enough to survive. He expects you to first and foremost, acknowledge Him in ALL He has given you, whether it is a little or a lot. And, for some, little does not mean less love or trust. Little can mean that that is where God needs you RIGHT NOW.

God may not give you money to take care of problems you encounter that require it, either. But, He ALWAYS gives you resources you can use to get what you need.

And, everything God gives you is a communication from Him to you. Everything you experience - whether you have little or much - is to teach you something. It is what you learn from any experience that determines whether or not you are ready for more.

I look forward to sharing my daily life with you from here on out. I want to show you what I have learned. I want to share what I know so that you can do it for yourself. I want you to have all the information you need to make educated choices in your life. And, I want you, above all, to realize that you would have NONE of it except that God gave it to you. I want to teach you to follow Jesus in all you are and all you do.

And, I will do this by sharing my failures as well as my successes.