What am I getting myself into?

Hello, World.

As an employee of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice at Telford Prison, I am not supposed to talk about things that may or may not go on inside the facility. What happens there, should stay there.

But, I will say this:

My academy "pre-service training" has opened my eyes to a lot. I listen to stories from current employees there about experiences that they have had. I listen to stories about things I might have to go through. I listen to stories about what people do and how they act in a crisis.

After taking a tour of the facility with my fellow trainees, I came away humbled. The people I will be working with, when my training is complete, are nothing less than heroes. I stated to a fellow trainee, very humbly, that I only hope that when I have to face such a crisis, I can be as brave and courageous as I have heard about.

As my late stepmother once said, and my fellow trainee pointed out in response, "You aren't going to know how you are going to act until you get there. No one can."

She was right. It's easy to want to be a hero. It's a whole other thing when the opportunity presents itself. Anyone can talk the talk -- but it's the walk that matters.

After my tour the other day during class, I came home and did some really hard thinking and praying about what I was getting myself into with my new job. Do I really want to put my life on the line every single day. I mean, that is what I will be doing -- flipping a coin every day to see if I get to come home safe and whole at the end of the day.

No wonder the benefits are so great.

I prayed.

Am I really fit for this? Can I do the job if faced with a situation I have never been in that requires defending myself or a co-worker or another inmate?

Clearly, I need work.

After thinking and praying about this, I asked myself:

Is this why God put me here? Is this something I need to do for some greater job He has for me in the future? And, if so, what do I need to do in order to do it right?

God spoke to me in my heart and said that I should not fear, He would be with me.

Isaiah 41:13
“For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

I don't have kids to come home to, or a family at home that is depending on me the way many of my co-workers do. I can afford to put all I have into my job. If I died tomorrow in the line of duty, my children are grown and can fend for themselves.

And, I really do need to get into better shape.

This morning, I watched some training videos. I think I'm going to start practicing at home -- and do more situps and push ups each day. Maybe this job is because God doesn't like how I look right now...and wants me to lose weight. Maybe I'm fixing to have my house broke into and I need to defend myself and my property. Maybe there is an inmate who needs to be counseled in the Word. Maybe there is a co-worker who needs my support.

I came to the conclusion that I am there for a reason. I need to have the courage to stay. I need to Buck up and move forward and do what I am called to do, no matter what the cost may or may not be.

That's what Christians are called to do every day. I guess God is putting me to the test.

I intend to pass.

May 7-11 is Correctional Officer appreciation week. If you see one at your local convenient store or restaurant, don't forget to shake their hand and tell them you appreciate them. You have no idea what they go through to keep the public safe. Your encouragement might be the reason they need to show up for work tomorrow.

It actually takes courage just to walk through the doors each morning.

I pray that I have sufficient courage when I need it.

And, I thank God for these heroes I will be working with.

The Mission of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice is to Provide public safety, Promote positive change in offender behavior, Reintegrate offenders back into society and Assist Victims of Crime.

Our motto is: Motivation, Determination, Dedication, Teamwork. Training sets the pace. People are our business.

My class is The Great 38

Our class motto is Get it right or wear white!

(Our inmates are dressed in white, not orange).

Have a blessed day!