About Online Dating

Hello, World!

Someone made a remark to me yesterday about using the internet to seek a mate being akin to "getting ahead of God", in that it shows that you do not trust God enough to put who He wants in your life. While I agree, somewhat, to this statement, I need to clarify that I, personally, am not seeking a mate. I am seeking socialization. There is a difference.

Unfortunately, most men that I have talked to over the internet as I do so take advantage of the opportunity and make it a very harrowing experience. I have blocked 95% of those who have contacted me in response to my call for friendship as a result.

Men tend to see such calls as coming from someone who is desperate and lonely, and they wish to capitalize on their conquest, seeking to make another mark on their sexual ego sticks. I am neither desperate OR lonely.

Yes, I am single. I have spent the last six years bettering myself and my life. The only thing that would make my life "better" would be to be able to pick up the phone, call a friend and go have a great time out somewhere with someone familiar and comfortable who is after the same goal. Having isolated myself in order to focus on strengthening my home-base, I have neglected building a circle of friends in the process, and am now seeking to fix that problem.

This does not mean I am lonely. I am alone, by choice. There is a difference.

I am still in a place, mentally, as a matter of fact, where any attempt to disrupt the lifestyle I have come to enjoy over the last 6 years causes me to cringe in fear of that disruption and makes me want to run away from any possibility of that happening.

It would take someone VERY special to get past THAT wall, because I am too comfortable AND happy where I am.

But, I do need the socialization. I do need to step out and give God the opportunity to work in my life through a circle of friends. I do need accountability and self-education that one can find only in social settings. So, that is what I am looking to do in opening myself up on social media.

Ya'll have a blessed day!

About Online Dating

Let me tell you something about the internet: Sometimes people become so dependent on it that they don't realize but there is another person on the other end that is just as real as they are.

It's just so easy to turn off a computer when things get rough. And this is why when it comes to relationships reality should be the norm.

You can't turn off life. And you can't just pretend that the person that you're talking to doesn't have feelings or a heart that can be broken.

What the internet does is offer distance. It offers time. It facilitates in healing because of this. It should be used like the message machines on a telephone, not as a way to party with friends. It doesn't offer memorable moments that can only be gotten by 2 people who are sitting face-to-face talking to one another and spending time in conversation and laughter. Touch is an integral part of building relationships.

Studies have proven that babies are more likely to die when they are not touched lovingly by their parents. So the internet does not offer pats on the back or hugs when you need it. Emoticons just don't do the trick.And if you can't look someone in the eye and tell them what you want to say, then even the most friendly relationships are superficial at best--something you can just turn off when you're tired.

As for me, I want real. I want to be able to reach out and touch someone's hand. I want to say hello with a hug. I want to look you in the eye when I tell you I love you. And, I want to spend time with my friend and build memories. I want more than just a message that says, 'Hello, I think you're special!"

Long distance relationships of any kind are difficult to maintain.

I do not do computer dating. And I'm not going to do deep friendships over the computer either. Because if you only live 5 or 10 miles away, there is no excuse for not making time for somebody you say you care about.

As always, it is a choice, and it is yours. And, I love you, anyway!