Avocados, Tires, Cigarettes, and Back Seat Drivers

Good evening, World!

I got this rental car so that I wouldn't be as stressed as I have been over working.

However, today was probably the most stressful day I've had in a while!

I woke up at 4:00 a.m. this morning, and the gauge was reading that I needed a tire rotation. I thought to myself, that can't be right because I just got the vehicle! And I don't even have a voucher yet.

I reset the gauge so that it reads that a tire rotation isn't due for another 5,000 MI.

Then the little exclamation light came on and said that my tires were low on pressure.

Crap!

I found the nearest discount Tire and went to go get my tires aired up and had them check the tires while they were at it. They informed me that I needed two new tires on the front. The reading for the tires was in the red. It was way past time and nearing the danger level.

I am 40 miles away from the Hertz rental car center. So I tried to call them, but I was told that the number did not exist. I was not going to pay for two new tires out of my own pocket, and I needed a voucher to get it done. So, I drove there, praying the whole way.

I got to the rental office, and all of their computer systems were down, and they had no idea when it was going to come back up. But I was assured that it usually doesn't take more than an hour or so. So I waited around.

After about an hour, the young man at the desk came over to me and told me that truthfully they just don't know when it's going to come back up and he can't give out any vouchers until it does, but, I could call this number that he gave me and they could fix one up and email it to me.

He could have told me that an hour before that!

So I called the number and I got the voucher and I went back to Denton to the Discount Tire that had told me I needed two new tires.

It took about an hour and a half for them to finally get me serviced. By then it was about 1:00 p.m.

Once again, half of my day had been wasted on maintenance. This time on a vehicle that I didn't even own. LOL

Once the tires were fixed, I drove to Walmart because I was out of tea. I had to park quite a ways away because the parking lot was so full. I got my tea, which was regular sweet tea and not extra sweet tea because they didn't have the extra sweet tea. But any tea is good tea, as long as it's sweet, in my book. LOL

I got a phone call from a bill collector, who is wanting me to pay a past due medical bill. It was only $60 and they had been trying to call me for a while. So I went ahead and paid it since I have the money. She asked me if there was anything she could help me with after that, I said, "nope. Except, I would like for you to stop calling me. LOL" and yes, she laughed.

I also bought some basic necessities that I was out of that I didn't get the other day. Hopefully I'm fixed up for a while.

Then I went and ate at the Cotton patch. It was really good food. I was especially impressed with their fried Green tomatoes. But, I had asked for an avocado bacon cheeseburger that was on the menu. When I got the burger it had no avocado on it. When I told the waiter, he said the avocado only comes on it if you request it.

Duh! Did I not ask for an avocado bacon cheeseburger? Is that not requesting avocado? He only got a dollar tip.

Then I finally went to work. There were back to back Lyft rides. Half of them canceled on me before I could get to them. And I kept working myself closer and closer to the Dallas area. 

By the time I got halfway to Dallas, Lyft navigation went crazy. I'm in a town that I do not know the roads, and I have to listen to her. But she was so confusing! I could be sitting there at the light and she would tell me, "turn right. Go 150 ft turn left. Turn right, then turn left", and I hadn't even moved yet. I had no idea which way to go! And the passengers I had in my backseat did not speak English.

I finally got them where they wanted to go and then I picked up a guy going to Love Field airport. When he got in the car I told him I was so glad that he spoke English because I needed a backseat driver! I explained to him why it took me so long to find him, and asked him to help me with navigation.

He pulled out his Google. He was telling me what Lane to go into and where to turn, warning me not to listen to her on the app, and then he said, "I am so sorry for being a backseat driver! I know I'm bad!"

I exclaimed, "No! Don't apologize! I need you to be a backseat driver! You hear what I'm going through? LOL"

Normally I hate backseat drivers. But I really appreciated him. And he even tipped me $10.

After I dropped him off I came back to Denton. It was an hour drive. How did I end up that far away so quick?

I'm done for the day. You'll be glad to know that I did not break down and buy a pack of cigarettes, even though I wanted to really bad.

So I think I'm going to sit here for the rest of the night and just relax.

I've made all but $77 that I need to pay for my rental. 

Y'all have a blessed night!

Birds and Rentals

I was really nervous today.

But everything turned out a whole lot easier than I thought it was going to be. All I did was go in, present my insurance, my driver's license, and my Lyft app on my phone, and they gave me the keys and told me to make sure that I do whatever maintenance is needed.

By the way, I don't have to pay for the maintenance. I just have to make sure it's done.

I had to find a storage unit that would house my car for me while I'm out on the road in a rental. You would think that they would let me park it on their lot since I'm driving their car. But, I was able to find one approximately a mile away from the rental company, which was convenient.

I went and ate, and then I started my day after I drove to Denton, Texas.

It was only a 35 mile drive.

Then I turned the apps on.

I really like working in Denton.

It's so much busier than Texarkana! And, there is so many more new things to do and see!

Eventually I'll have to go back to Texarkana to check my mail. I'll do that at the end of the month. I have to pay for my mailbox anyway. I also need to grab my suitcase. I grabbed about three changes of clothes and put them in a garbage bag, because I figured it would take less room. I think the suitcase probably would have been a better idea. LOL

My plan is to get some of these bills paid off, and then get a room.

Y'all have a blessed night!

P.S.

Check out these birds at the Love's where I'm sleeping tonight! It reminds me of something out of a Stephen King novel.

Following God's Calling

Good morning, World!

I just paid off my revolving Reli loan at my bank. Now I have another $1,500 available when I need it. I still have $1,100 in my bank account. I transferred $100 to my brokerage account last night. I got gas in my car.

I'm going by Walmart to buy some basic necessities that I'm out of. Then I've got to go buy a vape.

Then I'm going to go get something to eat. All I had to eat all day yesterday was a bag of chips and some bean dip. Believe it or not!

Then I've got to go by my storage unit and pack up for my trip.

After that, I'm headed to Bedford, Texas to pick up my rental car. None too soon, I might add. When I filled up my car this morning it said I only had 285 MI in my tank. Something ain't right there. It's usually 100 mi more than that.

I'll probably end up getting a storage unit to house my car while I am driving the rental. That's going to cost me another $75.

At least I don't have to pay my Reli loan, and my Elastic isn't due until February. I figured I should pay off my revolving loans first, that way if I need the money I have it. Elastic and Reli are my two revolving loans. Those two will help me stay caught up on my bills until pay them off.

I'll have gas and food money until I get paid again, after I get all my bills caught up to the present. I'll only be paid once a week so I have to prepare.

It feels good to be caught up on most of my bills.

I have one bill I haven't paid anything on that I'm just going to pay off as soon as I get the money.

That's going to take work. But I'm not worried about it.

This Year is off to a great start! Just knowing that my bills are caught up and that I have a foothold, finally, really makes a difference! And, God has placed me in the position to do what it is He is calling me to do!

That is the best thing of all! I will finally get to start doing what I want to do for the Lord, using my occupation in which to do it!

All of those naysayers who told me that God was not calling me to do what I was planning on doing can eat crow now! He has led me to this place in the way that He wanted me to be there. He gave me no choice in the matter! When I was having doubts, He picked me up and threw me into it! I have learned some valuable lessons through all of this struggle. And I will need it on my journey!

Y'all have a blessed day! And, pray for me!

Church versus Church Building

I just got blocked on somebody's website who is telling them that they need to go to church in order to be a good Christian.

She accused me of having a hard heart. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not have a hard heart.

If I did I wouldn't have taken offense at that.

But, I simply reminded her that going to church does not make you a Christian. My God is not displeased with me when I don't go to church. He is displeased with me when I don't act like I am a part of the church.

I will never tell anyone that they have to go to church in order to be a Christian. I will tell them they have to follow Jesus. I will never tell someone they have to go to church in order to learn God's word. I will, however, tell them that they have to read the Bible to learn God's word.

The church building is for those who need extra counseling. Some people do not like continuing their week without at least one day at the church in worship and praise alongside others who are there for the same reason. It is also for those who have questions that need answers about the Bible. The best place to get those answers is a Bible believing Church.

Some people are called to work inside the church building for that purpose. But not all people are called to the same. Everyone has a different calling.

Jesus said "Where two or more gathered together in my name there will I be also." Assembling with others does not have to be 100 people. It can only be you and one person in the car who are glorifying and praising the Lord together. It can be me and my passengers stopping to pray over their needs when they ask for it.

My church is wherever Jesus is. And He is not trapped in a church building.

Not one time in the whole Bible did Jesus ever say to go to church. His ministry was based on teaching believers how to BE the church.

I will never tell anyone not to go to church. But I will never tell them that going to church is the mark of a good christian.

And I am very appalled at the number of so-called Christians out there who are very adamant that if you are not going to church you are not a true Christian.

Happy Friday, January 5, 2024

Good morning, World!

I slept at the Flying J last night in Mandeville. It was really peaceful, and I actually found a place where the light wasn't shining in my eyes all night so I could sleep better.

Normally, I would try to wear a scarf over my eyes, but that gets old.

The bathroom was fairly close to the parking spot.

And it didn't start raining until after I went to the restroom about 3:00 this morning.

Apparently somehow, my trunk was opened after that, and when it started raining it rained inside my trunk. My suitcase was in my trunk. Luckily it was closed.

Everything got wet. I don't think the rain got through my suitcase though. And I had everything else in my car in the backseat. So no damage done there.

I don't know how the trunk was opened. I might have accidentally pushed the button when I tried to lock my door. If it was a burglar, he didn't find anything to steal, apparently.

In my dream last night, I believe that God was telling me that my situation is nearly over. That I will experience new things and certain problems will be resolved.

I was told to search within myself and make necessary changes that will be beneficial to my future.

I was told that all of what is happening and what will happen is a part of God's plan.

I was told that I need to diligently search for answers to my questions. And I need to be true to my boundaries and confident that God is in control.

Very soon, I will be in a position where I can make a difference in other people's lives, and I need to be careful how I handle the power that is going to be given me. 

The days of oppression are nearly over.

I pray that all of this is true!

I'm not going to be able to work much today if it keeps raining.

Y'all have a blessed day!

Trying to get my insurance paid

Good morning, World!

I'm on my way to my storage unit. I just got freshened up at the E-Z Mart down the road from the rest area.

Tonight is laundry night. I have to do laundry tonight.

And today my focus is going to be on putting money in my bank account so that whenever my insurance comes out in a few days it will go through.

I don't have a backup balance to pay anymore, and I actually have a few bucks on my card now.

I'm looking for a better day today than I had yesterday, even though yesterday was really good. I want it to be at least as good.

I uninstalled all of the games on my phone. I just think that I need to start looking around instead of down at my phone all the time.

I had a dream last night. I had asked God to speak to me before I went to sleep. He sent me a message through imagery in my dream. I know it was prophetic because it was clear.

It was a picture of a king dressed in purple and green, and the message was,

"You are not in control, I am."

I don't know why he thought he had to tell me that. As if I didn't already know it. But I'll take it!

Y'all have a blessed day!

At 9:00 a.m., I went ahead and paid for my storage unit. That left me about $4 that I have to pay back to my Uber backup balance because I didn't quite have the money in my Uber card. But at least it's paid.

greetings on January 4th

2023 Recap

The year, 2023, began with me waiting on tags for my car.

The dealership had bought the car from a guy who used to live in California. When they sent to California for the title so that I could get the tags, California sent it to the previous owners old address in California instead of to the dealership.

The dealership had to file for a lost title. It took them nearly 5 months to get me my tags.

In the meanwhile, I could not drive for Uber or Lyft, because they require that a car that I am driving be registered in my name. I could have rented a car from Lyft, but it would have cost me too much compared to what I was making. I was already losing money by not being able to drive for Uber or Lyft.

I was allowed to do deliveries, however. Unfortunately, on all the apps put together even, it was only half of my regular salary. I ended up having to spend all of my money that I had saved up during the previous year to try to keep up with my bills. I even ended up having to take out a loan to help.

The dealership was willing to pay the car payment. But even just paying the car payment I was still behind on my bills. I threw a fit and told them they were ruining my life! They didn't believe me and they laughed at me.

I finally got my tags in February. During this time I had to get a fuel injector put into my car because the check engine light kept coming on.

I drove the car for about a month and a half, and then the transmission went out. I took it back to the dealership. After a week of waiting for them to fix it, I was told that the transmission was on back order. I told them I had to go to work! I couldn't afford not to work! I had to take out another loan to help me pay my bills.

They sent me out with a loaner vehicle, through a rental company, and I had to pay $30 a day to drive it with the deal that they set up, after the first 5 days. So now I could only do deliveries and I had to pay $30 a day on top of that. I ended up having to take out another credit card and a few more loans before I finally got my car back a month and a half later, with a used transmission.

I drove the car for about a month and a half, and the transmission went out again.

This time, they told me that there was nothing they could do because I drove too many miles and the warranty was no longer valid. Now I was without a car, and a way to pay my bills.

At this point I tried to trade in my car for a better one, but they told me that the car had too much negative equity due to the mileage that I drove. And I didn't have the money to pay a down payment on another one.

I took the car to J&R automotive and they helped me get set up with financing to get another transmission. I was out of work for 3 weeks, constantly getting more behind on my rent. And I didn't see myself coming back from this.

I was going to get a storage unit and move into my car at this point, and I begged people to help me move.

No one stepped up to help.

A cousin offered me a place to stay until I could get my car fixed. I moved what I could to his house. He was disabled so he was limited and how he could help me move. At this point, I hadn't even gotten a storage yet.

I waited 2 weeks for my car to be fixed, and finally someone offered me their van to drive while I was waiting to get it fixed.

My cousin started gaslighting me and making things difficult for me, so I left his house with nothing but my clothes and computers.

Another friend offered me a place to stay until I could secure myself.

I stayed with her family for a week, but extended circumstances forced me to have to leave her home. It was nothing personal. But I couldn't stay there.

I finally got my storage unit, and I went to Randy Sam's for about a week. It was hard for me to work the hours that I could work, once I got my car back, due to the hours that they require you to be checked in, and the chores that they require you to do as a part of staying there. Not to mention, the cots were not comfortable, and the showers had no water pressure. I have very thick hair.

So I checked out of Randy Sam's and I went to Dallas for about a week to try to work and make more money.

After about a week, my transmission failed again. I ended up having to take it back to Texarkana, back to J&R automotive, and I barely got it on to the shop's property when it finally stopped going. It refused to move. I needed another transmission.

They sent me up with more financing. By this time I had five loan accounts and three credit cards that I was paying on.

This time, they also had to replace the starter and a sensor as well as the transmission.

During this time, my dad died. A week later, two of my best and closest friends died. A week later, one of them moved away.

I got the car back, and a month later, I was putting a water pump, thermostat and housing in it. My water pump went out on me.

A month later, apparently some water got into my transmission fluid and I ended up having to do three transmission flushes. I had to take out another loan to pay for this. I also had a leaky radiator.

My windshield wipers had failed me at some point during all that time and I had to get to windshield wiper motors. I had to replace three brake lights and one headlight, and a tire or two about every month.

I've lost my health insurance, so I couldn't even get my arthritis medicine. At the end of the year I'm depending on aspirin.

At this point, at the end of the year, I am homeless, broke, and in debt.

And I still owe $3,200 in Taxes from the previous year.

The apartment complex I used to stay at, at this point, slapped me with a $5,046 clean up fee, since I had to leave everything behind. If I had $5,000 I would not have had to move.

I can't stand on my feet more than 20 or 30 minutes at a time, so getting another job is not an option for me. My only hope is to keep this car going until I can come up with the money to get another one.

There have been a lot of good points this year, though. I have made new friends.

Some have reached out and offered me a little bit of help here and there. I have received blankets, and pillows and gift cards. Some have uploaded money onto my cash app and venmo to help me out.

The last thing I ever wanted to be doing was asking people to help. I am someone who likes to work for what I get, so I don't feel like I owe anyone. And now I owe a slew of people for helping me.

2023 has proven to be the worst year of my entire life. 2024 has to be much better!

Throughout all of this, I have praised God with a "hallelujah, anyway."I know He's got something planned. And I know He's preparing me for work that I am going to be doing in 2024!

There were times that I didn't know if I was Job, or Jonah. I tried to maintain my stance and posture to resemble Jesus. It was hard, and I know I failed at times, but I never stopped believing that God has a plan for me and that God is using this for a purpose!

hallelujah anyhow

Happy 2024

Good morning, and happy New Year!

My New Year's resolutions this year is to keep receipts of everything and that this year is going to be better than last year.

It is 804 a.m. and I am currently sitting at the EZ Mart on Summerhill Road, after filling my car up with gas, and my yeti cup up with ice.

I slept at a friend's house last night. It was really nice to be able to sleep in a bed instead of my car.

There is a light at the end of this long dark tunnel. I'm looking at it. I'm walking toward it.

Y'all have a blessed day and a Happy New Year!

Top 10 things I learned in 2023

My birthday is coming up on October 30th. I will be 55 years old.

It is tradition for me to post the top 10 things I learned at the end of each year of my life. I have been doing this for 20 years now. It seems like it, anyway.

I'm sure if you look at the links on the side here, you can find some of them.

So here goes:

1) When God wants you to do something, He makes it happen. Usually it's not when you think it should happen. And, it's probably not even the way you think it should happen.

2 years ago that I told everybody I was being called to put everything I have in storage and get a shipping post mailbox and travel and live in my car, doing what I do for a living.

I had planned to start doing it around December of this year. But, God decided I needed to be doing it sooner. My car broke down several times, throwing me into debt, forcing me to move out of my apartment and live in my car. So here I am doing what God called me to do to begin with.

I just wish it didn't come with so much debt. Because then I could afford to travel. But I think this is training.

2) Being a "Christian" and saying you are a "Christian"are totally different things. Going to church does not make you part of the church. I believe more in BEING the church than GOING to church.

3) Saying you will pray for someone's needs while doing nothing to help them is called dead faith. I didn't say that. The Bible did. James Chapter 2.

I have experienced a lot of that in this past year. It is very disheartening when you are drowning and instead of reaching out a hand to pull you ashore people just look at you and say they will pray for you.

4) Sometimes, no matter how far ahead you plan, circumstances can sometimes debilitate you.

I have said it over and over: don't think that you will never find yourself in the same situation that I am in. All it takes is one bad turn of events.

5) You should always cultivate new relationships, because people die, move away, or become distant.

This year, I lost my daddy. I lost my friend Gary. I lost my friend Elizabeth. My friend Fred moved away. And my family acts like I don't exist.

Which brings me to 

6) Your family is not your bloodline. Your family is those who are part of your life who show care and concern for you on a consistent basis.

Calling someone once every 3 months to find out what they're up to and if they're still alive is not enough to be considered family. Especially when you have no intention of helping them if they need it.

7) God is constant. He is always there, no matter how far away you feel from Him. He understands even when you are angry and want to be alone.

8) The term, "God will provide", does not apply to your rent or your ability to keep your job. 

I can't count the number of times in the past year someone said to me that I shouldn't worry and that God would provide. He did provide. At least I have my car to sleep in right now.

9) God's provision is dependent on His people, who are willing to serve him in ways other than cleaning the church after service.

If you are Christian, then you are part of the body of Christ. This means that you are His hands and feet. This means that when someone needs assistance of any kind, it is up to you to be the Jesus that they see.

And finally, I'm probably beating a dead horse here, but I'm going to say it anyway:

10) sending money to missions overseas is great, but priority should be placed on the need in your own back yard!

Wedding Feast

It is amazing to me, still, how some people can treat you so badly. They can spit on you when you are in need asking for help. They can accuse you of being frivolous when you are not.

They judge you because you don't have what they have, even though they have watched you for ten years go from being abused, battered, nearly homeless with nothing but a work uniform to wear, no car, no phone, no computer, working part time for min wage, to living in a nice apartment with a pool downstairs, phone, 3 computers, cars, and working overtime for twice what min wage is, and helping others when they can. They have seen that you can barely move around, yet you continue to work.

They have watched you drop old habits and form new ones that were healthier.

And, they still want to verbally assault you and refuse to help you when things start going bad, kicking you while you are down.

Yet, when I call them on it, suddenly I am the bad person. I am the one who is being mean?

I promise you, when I am up again, I will remember who my true friends and family are. I hope you don't have too much pride to ask for help when you need it, and when I have it. I will be there for those who helped me. And, for those who did not and prayed for me. And for those who kept their mouths shut, because they were too prideful and afraid of being judged for helping me.

But, those who kick me while I am down will get to squirm first. I will determine whether or not they deserve to be helped at that point by what they have learned from it. I will forgive them, but I will never forget. I will be merciful, but I will not throw my pearls before the swine to be trampled upon again.

For those of you who say that is not Christian, I beg of you to read the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph made them squirm to determine if they've learned anything before revealing who he was.

Some people never learn. They will not help you when you are in quicksand, and as you sink lower, they blame you and fault you and throw it in your face that you are not standing on firm ground, yet they offer no help for you to do so. And, their excuse is that they found their own way out at one time or another, even though the way they got out is not available to the one who is sinking.

Yes, I will remember them. I will forgive them. I may even give them the opportunity to make it right by being there for me again in the future, in case they change their ways. But I will never forget.

I have no problem cutting people out of my life who spit in my face and kick me while I am down. As I have proven in the last few days, when one is shut out, the door is open for two more to take their place. Hopefully, the two more gained are much better people.

If you are one of those people who kick me while I am down, and are given the opportunity to be there for me again in the future, I hope you think about how unworthy you are of my help when you need it before you make a decision to kick me again.

Matthew Chapter 12

46 While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.

47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.

48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?

49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!

50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

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