When dating someone, should the man shoulder all the responsibility for showing you a great time?
Most people expect that the man should pay for dinner. But, should the man be responsible for planning other things? Like, going to a concert, or seeing a movie....and should he be expected to pay the whole way if he is the initiator of the date?
Is it proper for him NOT to be the initiator at any time? and if so, should he still be expected to pay for it? I mean, after you have been dating for a while, is it okay for HER to say, "You know what, I'd like to go (here or there) and do (this or that). Why don't we do that next Saturday!" How much is he expected to shoulder at that suggestion?
I was brought up that the guy was supposed to take care of the lady. There are lots of ways to have fun when you don't have the money. On the other hand that depends on who you are with, too. If you are with someone who is boring, going to the lake for a picnic might not be fun.
I really think it is depending on who you are with, and what you are both looking for in a relationship. I was brought up to be the help-meet, not the bread-winner. But, more often than not I ended up supporting losers. I don't think I'm going to be doing that again. I don't mind paying for what's MINE, but if he is making a house payment before we get together and I move in with him, then he should continue making the house payment. I have never "not worked". So, I don't mind buying groceries and paying for my clothes, and whatever else I consume. But if I don't have it, He should WANT to take care of me. And if he loses his job and needs my help, he shouldn't be too proud to take it but at the same time, he shouldn't be dependent on me forever. He should be working to provide.
My mom and stepdad had it worked out so that they had 3 bank accounts. His, hers, and theirs. Both of them worked. Mom didn't make as much as Benny did, but come payday, HALF of her paycheck went in the "Theirs" account, to pay the bills. If anything was left over, they TALKED about how to spend it TOGETHER. If both didn't agree, it didn't get spent. Same with Benny, HALF went in the "Theirs" account. The other half was his to spend however he wanted. I think that worked out well. But, when she couldn't work anymore, that "half" wasn't so much...and Benny picked up the tab. But, the accounts are still in effect.
On the other hand, Grand-daddy and Grandma split the bills right down the middle. Even if Grandma didn't make as much, she was expected to pay for her half. That didnt work out too well. They fought a lot about that.
I like the way my mom and stepdad handled their finances better.
To be honest, I don't have a lot of respect at all for a man who doesn't take the lead. Women, most of the time, like to feel "secure". If a man doesn't make her feel like he WANTS to take care of her, I can see how that would cause stress for a woman. On the other hand, I, myself, am pretty independent -- so, while I like a man that "leads", I don't like a man who "overpowers". I have personal dreams and wants and needs too that I only feel fulfilled if I work for it. And to care for a man who is dependent takes away from that.
Respect goes a long way. If a man respects you enough as a woman to make the effort, then you should be willing to do whatever it takes to make it easier.
Most people expect that the man should pay for dinner. But, should the man be responsible for planning other things? Like, going to a concert, or seeing a movie....and should he be expected to pay the whole way if he is the initiator of the date?
Is it proper for him NOT to be the initiator at any time? and if so, should he still be expected to pay for it? I mean, after you have been dating for a while, is it okay for HER to say, "You know what, I'd like to go (here or there) and do (this or that). Why don't we do that next Saturday!" How much is he expected to shoulder at that suggestion?
I was brought up that the guy was supposed to take care of the lady. There are lots of ways to have fun when you don't have the money. On the other hand that depends on who you are with, too. If you are with someone who is boring, going to the lake for a picnic might not be fun.
I really think it is depending on who you are with, and what you are both looking for in a relationship. I was brought up to be the help-meet, not the bread-winner. But, more often than not I ended up supporting losers. I don't think I'm going to be doing that again. I don't mind paying for what's MINE, but if he is making a house payment before we get together and I move in with him, then he should continue making the house payment. I have never "not worked". So, I don't mind buying groceries and paying for my clothes, and whatever else I consume. But if I don't have it, He should WANT to take care of me. And if he loses his job and needs my help, he shouldn't be too proud to take it but at the same time, he shouldn't be dependent on me forever. He should be working to provide.
My mom and stepdad had it worked out so that they had 3 bank accounts. His, hers, and theirs. Both of them worked. Mom didn't make as much as Benny did, but come payday, HALF of her paycheck went in the "Theirs" account, to pay the bills. If anything was left over, they TALKED about how to spend it TOGETHER. If both didn't agree, it didn't get spent. Same with Benny, HALF went in the "Theirs" account. The other half was his to spend however he wanted. I think that worked out well. But, when she couldn't work anymore, that "half" wasn't so much...and Benny picked up the tab. But, the accounts are still in effect.
On the other hand, Grand-daddy and Grandma split the bills right down the middle. Even if Grandma didn't make as much, she was expected to pay for her half. That didnt work out too well. They fought a lot about that.
I like the way my mom and stepdad handled their finances better.
To be honest, I don't have a lot of respect at all for a man who doesn't take the lead. Women, most of the time, like to feel "secure". If a man doesn't make her feel like he WANTS to take care of her, I can see how that would cause stress for a woman. On the other hand, I, myself, am pretty independent -- so, while I like a man that "leads", I don't like a man who "overpowers". I have personal dreams and wants and needs too that I only feel fulfilled if I work for it. And to care for a man who is dependent takes away from that.
Respect goes a long way. If a man respects you enough as a woman to make the effort, then you should be willing to do whatever it takes to make it easier.
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