Saturday, June 24, 2023

Hot Day

It is hot out today. And, it is the Sabbath.

I'm not going to stress too much today. But I'm going to work as much as I am able. I only have 7 days to make enough money to pay my rent.

I deposited my money into ETrade last night but it's not showing this morning. I'm hoping it's because it is Saturday.

I washed my clothes last night. I'm good for another couple of weeks now.

I made more tea this morning.

So this lady in a pink Jeep was driving in front of me a few cars up. She had a bunch of stuff in her passenger seat. A suitcase was on top of it. It fell out of the Jeep as she was making the turn at the stoplight. She had to go up a little ways to turn around to come back and get it.

A car stopped and picked up her suitcase and put it in his car. He was going the opposite direction. I saw her coming back. I hope she didn't need anything out of that suitcase!

I'm praying to get out from under this debt bondage again.

I have been feeling spiritually distant over the past week due to all of the events that happened. I am trying to stay on top of my prayer life, but everything feels so heavy right now.

I know God's got this! He's going to pull me through somehow, some way, someday!

I bought $13 worth of gas to start my day.


Friday, June 23, 2023

Rough Week, And Then Some

I've had a really rough week this last seven or eight days. 

My dad died last Thursday. He left behind two dogs that really need a home, someone to take care of them. They are being fed and looked after but they need more human interactions while we wait for the estate to settle and figure out what's going to happen to the house.

If Dad had left the house to me I would keep the dogs. But I don't think he did. I really don't want the house. It needs a lot of work, but I would do what I had to do if I had inherited it. I figure it's probably a blessing that I didn't. And I can't take on another responsibility at this point.

My aunt is not discussing the will until it is able to be read with both me and my brother present. So it's life as normal for me. I am praying that I did not inherit anymore responsibilities.

I have been too busy to really sit down and think long enough to mourn my Dad's passing. But I don't think he'd want me to cry anyway. He was always very impatient with any show of feeling on my part. My mother is too. So, I'm just barreling through trying to do everything I normally do every day.

I stayed with my Aunt Charlene until the funeral home came to pick daddy up from the hospital. I am behind on my rent, so I had no choice but to go to work and not think about it. You don't realize how strong you are until something like this happens.

I went to my dad's visitation, and his funeral the next day.

On Wednesday, my friend Gary also passed away. I had helped him and my friend Fred to get off the streets about 5 years before. I tried to look after them to make sure that they had everything they needed. Their health had declined so much that staying on the streets was not survivable for them anymore.

I contacted his sister to let him know when he went to the hospital so that she was able to contact the hospital just before he passed away.

A friend made me some bags of food to go pick up, and I did that. I also bagged up a lot of stuff that I had too much of, and I sent a care package to someone else in need.

I am still praying that God gets me out of this debt bondage. I would like to be able to take a break and think about all these things and get it out of my system. But I can't right now. I'm too busy fighting for my own survival.

I know there is a purpose to this. God is looking out for me. And God will get me through all of it.

Thursday, June 8, 2023

You Get The Glory

I woke up at 11 A.M. today.

Yesterday was not a busy day for me. I ended up making back what I spent on the tire, eating and gas, but that is it. I am glad I had the God Account to fall back on.

Yes, the first thing I did was go and get a new tire when I left, then I went and ate, then went to work. I did some Spark, GrubHub, Lyft and Uber yesterday.

When I came home, I cooked some fried chicken in the air fryer.

I didn't want to wake up this morning. I was sleeping so good! Then, when I finally forced myself out of bed, I was groggy for 20 minutes. I fixed leftover chicken to eat, heating it in the microwave, and a glass of tea to start the day.

I need to buy more tea.

Last night, I picked up a lady who was going the ATM. Her husband is in prison and Her Paypal account wasn't working right, and she needed to transfer money onto her CashApp to have the money to send to him.

Yeah...don't ask me. I just drive.

So, I took her to the ATM, then I had to end the ride, because Uber App said it was the drop off location. The lady asked me if I would drive her to the Dollar Store so she could get the cash put on her CashApp card. She gave me a $20 bill to do so.

Yeah, I didn't turn that down, either.

When I got home, I watched the rest of the "Beyond Blessing" series, about managing money as a Christian. Then, I went to a sermon spot and looked up similiar sermons about how to manage money as a Christian.

I went to bed around 3 A.M.

Today, I have to get more tea. I'm also going to buy some vitamins. I am wearing out, and I need energy. I also need my medication, but I can't right now. I can't afford it.

Lord, thank You for yesterday, and all the lessons You taught me in it.

I really need Your rest, Lord. And, I need Your help getting out of this debt bondage I am in.

Thank You that I have good food to eat at home.

Make me better today than I was yesterday. Give me more and better opportunities to serve You. Lead me, guide me, show me the way. Teach me to love and forgive as You do.

Be with my children, my family, and my lists. Minister to their needs and draw them all closer to You.

Lord, I know that You protect me from Your judgments, as You did Moses when Your glory passed by him, thanks to the saving grace of the blood of Jesus! Your mercy is gracious and good! Just like Moses, I can see the back side of Your glory. I see the works You leave in Your wake as You pass by. I see the finger of Your hand in my life. I have never seen Your face, but I see the effects of Your actions. To YOU be all the glory and all the credit and all the reward!

In Jesus's Holy Name, I pray, Amen!

Exodus Chapter 33

22 And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by:

23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

Wednesday, June 7, 2023

It All Belongs To You

Today, I woke up at 11 AM.

I am moving back to my Blog Spot blog because my Wix account is not updating my pay. For some reason, my card won't accept payment through that site.

I've been having a lot of trouble with my debit card accepting payments lately, so I am shutting it off and getting a new one at my bank - which I will have to do next month anyway, because it is expiring. It is causing me undue stress that I really cannot handle right now.

Today, I have to go get a new tire. I've sold some stock from the "God Account" to help me pay for it, so I won't miss out on paying my bills because of it.

My God Account is there for such times as this, anyway. It is God's money. It is how He takes care of me when I have urgent needs and He can't depend on others to be His hands and feet. I don't see anyone else offering to help me, so I have to depend on God to do it, and I can't believe God would want me to go into more debt at this point, when I am begging Him to get me out of debt bondage.

Eventually, I want enough money in there that I can serve God full time, and not worry about my bills or paying off any debts. But for now, I have to depend on God's money that I tithe every day to help me. I will start paying 12% (10% plus a fifth part thereof) instead of 10%, until the money I take out of it ($105) is replenished in the account, because I am taking it to keep ME going.

Of course, at some point, I want to start putting ALL I earn into it, and only use what I need to survive and help others with the earnings from the investments.

The God Account funds my ministry. Right now, I don't have anything to give away because I am not seeing enough return on my investments. I have been re-investing the money God gives me through it, to keep it growing.

This will leave me $105 in the account.

At least God has seen fit that I am not behind on my bills.

I've been watching "Beyond Blessed", where Pastor Robert Morris teaches about financial stewardship. It has really influenced me and my decision making financially. I don't buy anything that I don't absolutely need to survive. I use everything I have to pay bills and my debts.

It's still not enough, but I am inching forward.

Lord, Thank You for leading me into great insights.

I thank You for taking care of me so that I can continue to serve You daily with my work.

Please help me get out of this debt bondage that I am in so that I can do more for Your great cause!

Be with my children and my family, and my lists, and make me better today than I was yesterday. Bless the work of my hands, that I may give more toward Your ministry.

It ALL belongs to You, Lord. I am trusting YOU to help me!

Lead me, guide me, show me the way and teach me to love and forgive as You do.

In Jesus's Holy Name, I pray, Amen!

Deuteronomy 10:14

“Behold, the heaven and the heaven of heavens is the LORD'S thy God, the earth also, with all that therein is.”