It's better to have loved and lost...

On October 22, 2016:

My baby dogs are getting ready to go on a trip. I won't see them again for a long time, if I do. But, I know they will be loved and cared for. That is what is important. They will be happy. They will have OUTSIDE! (I know Milo will love that!) And, they will have family.

I have already cried my heart out over a week ago. I'm all cried out...but I know when I least expect it, I'll probably cry some more. They are my babies.

For four years, Milo and I have been through everything together. When I cried, he licked my tears. When I laughed, he ran in circles. He is my best friend.

And then came Otis. Jealous, sweet, spoiled, Schizo Otis. He wasn't Milo to me, but he is family. I love him as much as I do Milo.

I wish them love, happiness, adventure, memories and safety. I wish his new family many years of laughter and love with my babies.

I will miss them, dearly.

My baby dogs just got to their new home. They are over 100 miles away from me now. But, I am happy. From what I hear, they were spoilt before they even got out of town. Chicken McNuggets? Really? I bet Milo LOVED THAT! LOL

October 23, 2016

Hello, World.

I woke up this morning and took a bath. It was so quiet. The Baby dogs didn't lick me awake. I didn't have to dodge the puppy pads (which I forgot to put in that care package I sent with them, along with their shampoo). It's gonna take some getting used to.

The apartment seemed...empty.

I went to church. One member hugged my neck and asked me how I was doing. "Better now." was my response.

She said, "You weren't doing good?"

I held back. LOL. I know she didn't mean it the way it came out. But, I fought to keep my retort in. It made me feel like I hadn't been in church for over two weeks and no one even noticed. Oh well. I don't go to church to be noticed anyway. Except by HIM.

I looked around to see if I could invite someone to go to the lake with me. I didn't see anyone. So, I went alone.

I enjoyed every bite of fish I had, and I asked my sister if she was gonna let me take Mylee to see The Nutcracker in December. She said I could. And, Mylee said she would.

Then, I came home. No babies to greet me at the door.

I took a nap.

I'm fixing to go back to church. Then I'll come home and wash clothes.

And watch netflix, or play Fallout, or listen to preachin. Anything so I won't think about what's missing.

Have a blessed day.

(Later that night)

I washed clothes, sheets, blankets. I changed my bedding. I was thinking, no more dog hairs to wash so often now. My pillows won't get torn up. I can take off my clothes whereever and not worry about them getting chewed up. My shoes are safe.

I am having to re adjust to not having dogs.

I saw my niece Mylee today with her new puppy, Bella. Bella was definitely Mylee's puppy. She followed Mylee around like Mylee was her momma. She even did what she was told some. Mylee had her on a leash, and she didn't mind, so long as Mylee didn't leave her.

In a way, I envied her. In another way, I wanted to shout a warning to her: "Mylee! Honey, do you know what you did? Do you know the pain you are going to feel one day?"

All I could do was smile and remember a quote from Shakespeare:

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.